I know, I know. Where have I been? It’s like I am totally not committed to this blog relationship or something. Next thing you know, I’ll be asking you to move out because it just isn’t working between us. It’s not you, it’s me. I promise.

Well, I have been a busy girl this week. Between the Olympics and Presidential politics and the new looming Cold War with Russia…I have had a lot on my plate. My relationship with NPR is pretty significant these days and we are thinking about taking it to the next level. I am not sure what that means, but I think it might involve a diamond. Shaped like a radio. Or the Constitution.

Seriously though, last night Hillary mentioned at the Convention that she had to thank her “sisterhood of the traveling pant suits“. Okay, I don’t about you but, while funny (in a lame political humor sort of way) I got a very disturbing visual from this reference. As though, at this very moment marching across America is a terse, mannish, short haired gaggle of aging women wearing mix and match pant suits and shouting “Hilary for President.” Ick. So, the moral of the story? Wear a skirt.

On to Russia. So for my friends that aren’t big into international relations, I am going to sum up what is going over there in high school language. Georgia  likes  South Ossetia more than South Ossetia likes Georgia. Georgia got kinda drunk on a Friday after the game and hit on South Ossetia but South Ossetia was not feeling it. Russia stepped in and was all”hey, hands off my girlfriend” and then went totally agro on Georgia. Basically, Russia used the fight between Georgia and South Ossetia to advance its own social agenda and be a big bully. We all know people like that right? Unfortunately, unlike high school, there are nuclear weapons and the UN involved so it is kind of a big deal but whatever.

On to the Olympics. Michael Phelps is awesome, I have a girl crush on Misty-May Treanor and that ribbon twirling thing is still a sport but I’m not sure why. The end.

This was the view from my rear view mirror yesterday on the drive home from work.

 
Methinks that Sir Isaac likes swimming lessons, no?

I have made it to the end of week 2, which means I have gone 14 days without purchasing anything for myself. I know for some of you this seems like a ridiculous thing to document, as you could go a whole year without purchasing something for yourself. To you I say - DON’T YOU JUDGE ME!

There are however, others of you who think my sacrifice is heroric, as you can’t go more than a few days without at least browsing (hi Mo!). To this group of people I say, DON’T TRY THIS AT HOME!

One of the things I’ve noticed this week as I avoid some of my fav websites and attempt to stay out of the stores, is that I’ve officially begun to grieve my consumerism. Apparently there are five recognized stages of grief. I went straight to the third stage of grief, bargaining. I guess I skipped the first two stages because I am really advanced, don’t be jealous. How did I know I was involved in emotional bargaining this week? Here are some of the questions I asked myself:

Can I buy an animal? Bunnies are cute.

Do bra’s count? I mean they go UNDER your clothes.

Make-up is a necessity right? Like water and food?

Honestly, I am afraid that by day 60 I am going to be like a rabid animal running around tearing at my hole-ridden clothes and shouting that, THE END IS NIGH!!!! Seriously what if I get the no-shopping “bends“…can that happen? Crap. I should have done more research.

Don’t fret my friends, if and when I do completely loose my mind (aka total fashion sense), I promise there will be pictures before I am carted off to the psych ward/Marshalls.

Well, two of the coolest people in the world had their second child today. That’s right, Gwen and Gavin welcomed baby #2 at the ever famous Cedars Sinai hospital in Los Angeles. However, it appears the two musicians struck a bad chord with their name choice for this bouncing blue bundle. Are you ready for it?

Zuma Nesta Rock Rossdale

Look, I don’t want to judge because everyone is entitled to what he or she thinks is beautiful.  Okay let’s be real, that name is TERRIBLE. It sounds like the Rossdale’s couldn’t decide on one wacky name so they chose three and strung them together like some Walmart Christmas lights.

Gwen, how could you let this happen? You are the epitome of cool, you made a whole generation of people think that spelling the word BANANA was actually a good idea for a song. You gave us Harajuku Girls, and now you give us Zuma? I mean at best it is remniscient of the good old alcohol drink Zima , which I used to drink in high school while riding around in a pick-up truck looking for a party. At worst, frankly the name sounds like Puma, which now that I write it out, might be preferable.

However, when you add Nesta to Zuma it sounds, for some reason like you are saying Lunesta, which I think is a sleeping pill. So to counteract it, you threw in Rock for good measure. All you’ve done is just assure this poor kid will get his arse kicked in junior high.

Gwenny, this name is just a hot mess. Call me, we’ll talk.

Oh people, my how things have changed. I know lately I haven’t posted much but things have been CRAZY. Well, more accurately, I have been crazy. Let’s just say that this move has left me with hills and valley’s of emotions and I have been learning a lot about my ability to deal with change. I guess I should have taken Who Moved MY Cheese more seriously…maybe I would have transitioned better.

Anyhow, this week I started running with two girls from work in the mornings. They are both beautiful, young and incredibly in shape (Hi Jenny!) At first I was intimidated but we have had a great time running together and I feel monumentally better throughout the day when I run in the morning.

This morning was particularly fantastic as we happened to run by a certain doctor that the girls know. He lives just a bit off of our running path and we zig zagged out of the way in order to catch a peak of his house. Well, holy moly did we hit gold.

As we nonchalantly jogged by, it appeared that said doctor was (with windows WIDE OPEN) doing pull ups on a bar in his front room. WITH NO SHIRT ON. People, what happened after this was like a scene out of a stupid chick flick. Let’s just say there was lots of high pitched giggling and yet another sprint past the poor, unsuspecting doc’s window. We are grown women mind you, but we aren’t above stalking hot doctors apparently. Now, given that I am a happily married woman (hi honey!) I will say that this little adventure was strictly an information reconaissance mission for my lovely single girl friend, so you could say that I took one for the team. Really, I never leave a fellow soldier behind. I have strict military like morals.

I can’t imagine what the neighbors thought as we cackled loudly outside their windows at O’Dark Hundred, maybe geese flying West for Fall? Anyhow, I fear we were less mature than we would like to think.

 One of the girls I run with is getting married on the beach in Carmel next weekend. She is marrying a secret agent man (seriously, she can’t even tell me about him because she’d have to kill me or something) Apparently, aside from her good taste in men, she MUST NEED glasses because she has asked me to do her makeup for her wedding. (My mom is so proud! Hi Mom!)Although when I told my sister (who is a stylist) that someone asked me to do their makeup, she asked if that meant someone was going to ask her to run for Congress. Point taken Nikki.

So I am thinking that I will post some before and after photo’s of the blushing bride so y’all can see my mad make-up skills. I might have missed my calling as a MAC counter girl, however given that I am a HER and not a SHIM, maybe I wouldn’t make it there too long.

Anyhow, running this morning, while fully entertaining, was a bit hard because my children refuse to sleep. Isaac and Joshua, at least once a week decide to tag team me in the middle of the night with a parade of requests for water, bottles and bathroom trips. I am thinking that we are going to have to separate the two little tyrants and move Josh to the guest bedroom because I can’t hang with the lack of sleep. Somehow the man sleeping next to me manages to sleep through the Midnight Masterpiece Theater of Children - although they are so loud I don’t know how.

Look for my regular Friday Fasting post tomorrow, as I am screaming up on the end of week 2 of no shopping. One day at a time, people, one day at a time.

Yes, this is my closet. No, I don’t want your advice on how to be more organized. My system (oh there IS a system) works for me, it’s called: “just throw it someplace because I have five seconds and there is a child hanging from my ankle” I’m sure you’ve heard of it.

So last week I embarked upon a 90 day shopping for clothes fast. At the end of week one, I can honestly say that I am doing alright. I haven’t perished and I managed to throw together some okay outfits for work this week. However, temptation did come knocking via email. I had 15 email solicitations from the likes of Old Navy, Banana Republic, Pottery Barn, Shutterfly, Nordstroms, Macys and Victoria’s Secret. I had no idea how much online shopping I did until this week - I mean how else would I be getting so many personalized emails from all of these stores. Totally ridiculous (and by ridiculous, I mean AWESOME).

We are going out of town this weekend and I assume that is where temptation will hit. Already, as I was packing I was thinking that I don’t have the right clothes for this trip (it is really hot in Turlock) and that I was going to feel dumpy all weekend because I have no new summer clothes. However, I am resolved in my committment - there will be no shopping.

It appears that if I just stay out of the bars malls, then I don’t have a temptation to drink shop. So, no malls for me. The online stuff is much harder though my peeps, because you barely even know that you are doing it. One day you are bored at work and start surfing Banana Republic, all of the sudden there is $300 worth of clothes in your cart and you are thinking, with my 20% off and free shipping this is going to be bargain! Then the phone rings (and you have to answer it  because you are a secretary now!!!) and you wake and realize you can’t click PURCHASE NOW! no matter how much it hurts. Holy Batman this is hard!

I have to say though, all of your awesome comments have helped, I am glad to know that some of your are in this with me. To the rest of you…Don’t you judge me!

I’m off to pack dumpy clothes for my trip - till next week my fellow shoppers!

A few weeks ago my parents came to visit. Actually my Mom, the amazing Jane, was here all week watching my kids and then my Dad and little sister Kenna joined them on the weekend.

While my Mom was watching the kids, she also managed to get a jump start on cleaning up our hideous front yard. Seriously, weeds and rocks and dead plants littered the front yard from Day 1 and Kevin and I just hadn’t gotten around to making it look nice. My Mom however, had begun to make it look pretty and so by Saturday we were all in for a makeover of the lawn and flower bed areas. We had no idea what we were getting into…

If I could say one thing about my parents it is that they are total workhorses. My Dad grunts and groans like Monica Seles whilst toiling away and my Mom likes to act as the job foreman so together, they are a dynamite duo. At the end of the day, I had to take Advil just to fall asleep because everything in my body hurt like heck. I was a little worried that the parents might not make it out of bed the next day.

We all WAY overdid it, however, I think you will agree the results were nice. The Easy Swede is still in need of some real work, but she’s looking pretty good these days.

For those of you a little concerned about my mental status, just thought I would let you know that I am doing better. Yes, the “no shopping thing” is still a go and no, I am not going to jump off a cliff as a result. I do not believe anyone has ever perished due to lack of retail therapy, I don’t think…

I have been infinitely frustrated at my inability to let go of my old life and job and embrace the brave new world that surrounds me. As I drive to and from work I am astonished by the beauty of my new hometown and equally surprised by the fact that beauty doesn’t trump all my other feelings about the move and the changes. However, I do feel that I am starting to adjust a little better. Really, I am, I promise.

I spent some time doing some volunteer work last night and it was really great - not the work itself, but the opportunity it afforded me to meet new people, which was much needed. Also, we are really enjoying Shoreline Community Church in Monterey and are pretty sure that is where we will get involved. So, things are coming together.

Kevin is out of town for business for the next three days, so it is just me and my little boys. I am actually looking forward to spending time with them, even if it is chaotic being a faux single mommy for the week. Never mind the fact that I had to bribe Isaac to get dressed this morning with marshmallows and that Joshie went to daycare in his pajamas…..

The good news is, I have a new David Sedaris book that should keep me entertained in the evenings and it is Tuesday…what does that have to do with anything you ask? Um, Tori and Dean is on tonight!!!

Thanks for all of your emails and comments people, it keeps me going!

Crazy. That is what some of you will think I am by the end of this post, if you don’t already. However, this issue has been stewing in my mind for quite some time. It all revolves around shopping. Shoes, purses, sunglasses, shirts, dresses, pants, swimsuits, jackets…I love them all. I love to shop. I love Banana Republic, in fact I am a Luxe card member. I love Macy’s, especially the cosmetics department. I can always find something to buy. I can always justify a reason to buy it. This is the problem.

This time last year, Kevin and I had about $3000 on a credit card due to some entirely ridiculous car repairs on his very old Toyota. It was a necessary evil to put the charges on the card, which had previously been at zero, and we labored over having to go into debt. Fast forward to a year later and that total has increased six fold. More than a quarter of that total is directly related to the move and getting our house prepared to sell. Another quarter can be attributed to miscellaneous purchases that seemed necessary at the time, a golf game, a dinner out, tickets to a concert - all of which managed to linger and not get paid off. That brings me to the final quarter of what is sitting on the credit card, my clothes. I would say it is safe to estimate my clothing purchases for a year’s time in the $5000 range. And that doesn’t include purchases in cash, which were also varied and many. Seems like a crazy figure when you think of it as a lump sum. However, when it happens $75 at a time, it is more palatable and justified.

I have worked in an office for 9 years, requiring a wardrobe that includes suits, which are not cheap. I have justified these purchases for so long, I never stopped to realize that I was spending progressively more each year on the items. I once settled for a suit on major sale at Macy’s and now I only order from Banana Republic and have recently been eyeing full priced Tahari suits. Much like an alcoholic who begins with one drink and then eventually is swilling directly from the bottle, my disease has progressed. So much so, that in the past year, I have twice dropped $1000 in one shopping trip. When we moved, my shoes alone were contained in 4 separate moving boxes. I do not make enough money to support this habit and it is time to change.

I am not proud of this part of me; especially because it means my family has a chunk of debt to shoulder because I like clothes. It just has to stop. I have been inspired by stories of families who give up shopping for anything new for a year. I have never felt compelled to join them. However, as I have struggled with this new job and the pressure to work because we need the money, my thoughts on this “no-shopping” concept have begun to change.

What if I didn’t buy clothes for a year? Could I do it? What would I learn and how hard would it be? Obviously I have to buy clothes for the kids but what if I just wore what I already have? Would I cease to exist if I didn’t have the new pair of Steve Madden heels or the new linen jacket from Gap? I have a feeling that my urge to shop comes from a much deeper, more intimate place than I would like to recognize. I believe it comes from deep seeded insecurity and discomfort – something that clothes will never change, just mask.

So, I did a little research on this topic and two years ago author Judith Levine undertook this very challenge, only she didn’t shop for anything. There is also a blogger that gave up shopping because she had too much stuff. I am not ready to go so far as to give up shopping for everything and like I said I don’t want to include my family in this, it is about me and my spending habits. I want to learn to stop and really feel the emotions that come up when I am just dying to go shopping – what am I trying to fulfill? Can I learn to keep clothing a necessary item and not a coveted idol? Also, could I actually get that credit card paid off?

So, I am going to start with 90 days. I will not buy any clothes for 90 days and after that, if I am still breathing, I will extend it to 6 months and then maybe a year. My goal is that every time I feel like I have disposable money for clothes, I will make a payment to the credit card. Maybe by the end of 2008, both my credit and I will be better for this experiment.

As a part of the process there will be a weekly post on the subject regarding how I am doing with the plan and how much I’ve paid to the credit card. Since this goal is a bit like a fast, I am thinking I will call it Friday’s Fasting Update. I don’t expect this challenge to be easy, in fact I think it is going to be terribly hard but isn’t anything in life worth doing usually so?

Please feel free to leave comments and share your opinion about this idea– also would some of you like to join me? Do you find yourselves in the same position both financially and personally? Are clothes filling a void in your life that isn’t appropriate or healthy? I would love to have some guest posts on Friday’s from your experiences if you chose to join in.

So ladies, let’s do this!