We interupt our regularly scheduled posting for a MYSPACE style survey in honor of my friend Mo.

STORY OF MY LIFE (kinda)

Hi my name is: Jennifer Jane
When I’m nervous: My feet sweat
By this time next year: I hope that I will have survived another year of motherhood
Last night: I watched tv in bed with my hubby PART 1: YOU
Were you a planned baby? Yes - right Mom?
Were you the first? that is a complicated questionPART 2: YOUR PERSONALITY
Do you have low self esteem? Not usually but sometimes I get insecure about my “mom” body
Do you get depressed about things easily? Some things, I am sensitive about relationship stuff
Are you happy right now? Aside from having to do this survey, yes.PART 3: APPEARANCE
Are you comfortable with the way you look?: 20 days out of the month
Describe your hair: Brown, shoulder length with highlights

From an article in Wired magazine today:

“In what sounds like a dream for millions of tired coffee drinkers, Darpa-funded scientists might have found a drug that will eliminate sleepiness.

A nasal spray containing a naturally occuring brain hormone called orexin A reversed the effects of sleep deprivation in monkeys, allowing them to perform like well-rested monkeys on cognitive tests. ”

So what you’re saying is, in the near future there will be something for me to snort that will help me (the sleep deprived monkey) to perform like a well rested monkey and it isn’t coke? Yeah for science!

Okay folks, with Iowa and New Hampshire just a few days away it is time to talk dirty, I mean politics.  I have been saying all along that Obama and Hillary cancel each other out and Edwards gets pushed forward as a concilliatory candidate - today Bloomberg has an article that backs up my prediction quite nicely. You can read it here. Also Peggy Noonan wrote a great article today as well about the importance of Iowa.

Basically what is being reported in the Bloomberg article is that Dem’s are divided fairly evenly between Obama and Hillary for some interesting reasons. First of all, people think that Hillary is more experienced but also more likely to lie and pander. They think Obama is less likely to lie but too inexperienced to run the country. So what happens? If they can’t have their first choice (remember they are evenly divided) then they all settle on a second choice that everyone can live with…Hello Mr. Edwards.

BTW - For those of you who are wondering about the Republicans, the bottom line is: I don’t care. They have mostly disgusted me with the lack of real policy discussion and the lame attempts to court the “Christian right.” Most Christians should be offended by the fact that we are courted as a political faction and only taken seriously because polling says we are a consistent voting block.

Anyway, since California forces me to vote with my party in the primary, I think my vote is either John McCain or Ron Paul. I never thought I would “waste” my vote on a fringe (Ron Paul) candidtate but with either Romney or Guiliani being my other options, I am left with no choice. I suppose Huckabee is an option but I’m just not in it for another southern conservative. For the those of you paying attention, please note that I consider McCain a fringe candidate as well - he has way too much baggage to be elected, even though he could definitely do the job. While he is polling decently now, I don’t think it will last long enough for him to be a serious contender. That said, I do believe him to be a statesman and a hero.

So my conclusion? Not sure what I’m gonna do in November….

I am sick. And grumpy. I actually had a dream last night about unwrapping yet another toy from an impossible amount of plastic and wiring. Seriously, Mr. Toy Manufacturer what the heck are you thinking with so much plastic and wiring? It is like breaking out of Alcatraz just trying to unwrap another toy from a show on Nickelodeon. I get all angry and sweaty and my hands start to ache. I literally have to rescue Diego and his Rescue Center from your crazy over-plasticized (word?) packaging. What are you afraid of Mr. Toy Manufacturer, that a child might be able to open his own toy? God forbid.

 Anyway, Christmas is over and all the toys are (thankfully) unwrapped and stored nicely in Isaac’s bed. Yes, you heard me right, he insists on sleeping with all of them. Last night the parade included, Thomas the Train, Diego and Baby Jaguar, silly putty and two books. Since he sleeps on the top bunk now, periodically through the night I hear random toys falling to their death as he rolls over and sends them crashing to the floor. One day he will stop sleeping with his toys and I am sure I will miss this stage…one day.

I think everyone had a nice Christmas. We ate, drank and were generally pretty Merry. However, there is something difficult about the few days after Christmas.. as though a quiet desperation settles on all of us. We have less money, we’ve gained a few pounds and we have reached our limit with extended family. The whole year leads up to one day -  one big, gift giving, food eating, game playing day. And then it’s over and all of the sudden the year’s end is pulling at you like your extended Christmas waistline.

This time of year always brings a certain sense of melancholy for me. Maybe it has something to do with my birthday falling so close to the New Year. I turn 31 in just a few  days, 10 to be exact. I am actually okay with this particular birthday. It took me a full year to settle into 30 and now I am going to embrace my 30’s before they give way to my 40’s. I guess what I am trying to say is that life goes fast. I mean seriously people, one day you are sleeping with Diego and your new laser gun on the top bunk and the next you are making a mortgage payment and hoping everything fits in the recycle bin. 

So here’s to next Christmas, maybe by this time next year I will have learned how to spend less, eat in moderation and enjoy the holidays a little more.

2007 was a big year for me. Since quite a few things happened during this banner year, I figured it would be a good idea to write about what I learned.

January - I turn 30. I don’t perish. Hey~30 isn’t that bad! However the 5th time someone says “you’re 30, flirty and thriving!” I throw up a little in my mouth. Also, my husband is a rock star and throws me an amazing 30th birthday party in the City. This is where I learn that dinner for 12 can cost $2000… and we’re paying! Wait, what?

February - I get a promotion at work but not a raise. This is confusing. I am however, 35 weeks pregnant and nearly incapable of talking without crying or yelling so I decide to wait on negotiations. I figure that bossman isn’t going to take me seriously whilest I am pushing someone’s foot out of my ribs anyhow. 

March - Big month. Huge. On March 8th I will discover that I can deliver a 7 1/2 lb baby boy in 3 pushes. I.AM.AWESOME. I also discover that throwing a 3 year old’s birthday party 5 days post partum is a little bit more than I can handle. You know what else is a little more than I can handle this month? TWO KIDS! I have two kids and at this point, become convinced that my life is over.

April - I learn that Target brand Spiderman underwear are sometimes not worth washing (let’s hear it for potty training!). I also learn that unlike my last post partum experience, the weight isn’t going to just walk out the door head to the bus stop and wait for the next bus to pregnancy town. We buy an eliptical trainer.

May - I learn that I can remain on the eliptical trainer for no more than 4 straight minutes without having to “re-binky” my baby. I also learn that this baby doesn’t really like to sleep (this will become a theme). This month I also will declare that I am “never leaving the house with both children, ever again.”

June - Getting two children ready for daycare in the morning and still managing to get my butt out the door for work is going to take some getting used to. Back at work, I learn that even without a baby kicking me in the ribs, I still can’t negotiate a raise.

July - Rice cereal= sleeping through the night! Hooray! Also, pumping your breasts in a supply closet at work is as fun as it sounds. Have finally lost the weight but my body appears odly disproportionate - as though my butt has moved to my waist.

August - Pumping in a public restroom of a government building, a hotel restroom and the backseat of your car is not recreational. However, the look on a man’s face when he says “oh I see you brought your laptop” and you say “no it’s my breastpump” is PRICELESS.

September - Going away from baby for the first time is difficult but amazingly rewarding. I realize for the first time that I can be a successful working mother of two. However, too many margarita’s, a mariachi hat and some flashing chili pepper lights will lead to a hangover of mythical proportions.

October - This month I learn that if you spend a stupid amount of money at Banana Republic they will upgrade you to the Luxe card. I feel guilty but… stylishly so. Also, three year olds have Halloween figured out and there is no hiding the candy. The candy is everywhere. Can I have some Mama? Oh the great and mighty candy! I need more candy Mama, please! Please?

November - CHP+ tuna sandwhich= ticket. Also, traveling with two children 10 hours in a car will age you. Oh yeah and I learned from a teenage that “just because he wears skinny jeans doesn’t mean he’s Emo.” Not sure what to do with that last part.

December - double ear infection plus the introduction of two teeth equals one unhappy baby. I learn that getting less than 2 hours of sleep a night makes one a wee bit grumpy. Once again, 3 year old has caught on to the national holiday about to occur. When does Santa come Mama? Where does he live? How does he get here?Will he bring me presents? Does Santa go everywhere I go? Is Santa God?

So that about wraps up 2007. I am sure 2008 will bring a whole new host of lessons. I am excited to have this website up and running for the new year - stay tuned!

Well Ugly Chrismas Sweater Party was a hit. We had two very clear winners for the awards portion of the evening. Congrats to Amie and Steve, I’m sure you will be able to pick them out in the slideshow below. My parents were a hoot as usual and they kept the party going

Next year I will buy less booze - seriously I way overdid it - we have like 3 cases of beer and 10 bottles of wine left. I will also invite a lot more people next year because Kevin and I discovered that we LOVE to entertain. I threw in a few pic’s of the boys at the end of the slideshow as they were dying to get in on the dress up action…

Cheers!

Did you know what the 5 easy steps to stealing fingerprints are? (it involves a beer bottle and some apoxy)

How about this one - what costs nothing to make but can be sold for $500? (um, sperm?)

Oh and this one is the best - do girls with boob jobs want sex more than girls without? (well, yes of course!)

All of these questions don’t just have answers they have MANswers.

Seriously.

It is a television show. On Spike TV. Men are such simple creatures, that they would create such a show. I watched it -once - and frankly, I think I am more dumber now. Oh wait…

Kevin: Isaac you need to go potty and get in bed. Now.

Isaac: Why? I don’t want to. I don’t have to go potty. (pause) NO!

Kevin: Isaac I am the boss and I said, go potty and get in bed. It is 8:30!

Isaac: (hmphhhhh!)You’re not the boss! (he then trots away and goes potty and gets in bed)

Cut to the next day….

Me: Isaac, how was your day? Did you have a good day?

Isaac: I saw a workerman today. He was working. I don’t want to be a workerman anymore when I grow up.

Me: Oh yeah? What do you want to be?

Isaac: The boss.

Well done, my son.

It is actually quite surprising there isn’t a cigarette in this picture - right Mom? Since I wrote about my coffee addiction before, I figured this picture was appropriate.

 Below is an excerpt from an article by Camille Paglia from Salon.com - to read the whole article go here

I don’t usually read Salon.com and I am not a huge fan of many of their opinion columns. However, I will be the first to admit when something - even if I disagree with it - is well written and entirely thoughtful.

Meanwhile, the thundering horses in the presidential sweepstakes have been neighing and nipping at each other as time grows short. Mitt Romney may have been breathtakingly presumptuous in commandeering the flag-bedecked forum of the George H.W. Bush Presidential Library for his long-anticipated speech on religion, but on balance, I think the event was a success for him merely by demonstrating his idealistic, bouncily upbeat character. Rudy Giuliani, dogged by tacky ethics questions, seems in contrast like a shadowy, hard-bitten wheeler and dealer, like Hillary Clinton a ruthless pursuer of power for its own sake. True, Romney’s had a million positions on any question, but who’s counting?

Romney’s move may have been tactically necessary to counter evangelical Protestants’ rejection of Mormonism as a cult, but the speech wasn’t as conceptually developed as it should have been. As an atheist, I wasn’t offended by Romney’s omission of nonbelievers from his narrative of American history. On the contrary, I agree with him that the founders of the U.S. social experiment were Christians (even if many were intellectual deists) and that our separation of church and state entails the rejection of an official, government-sanctioned creed rather than the obligatory erasure of references to God in civic life.

But what does Romney mean by the ongoing threat of a new “religion of secularism”? The latter term needs amplification and qualification. In my lecture on religion and the arts in America earlier this year at Colorado College, I argued that secular humanism has failed, that the avant-garde is dead, and that liberals must start acknowledging the impoverished culture that my 1960s generation has left to the young. Atheism alone is a rotting corpse. I substitute art and nature for God — the grandeur of man and the vast mystery of the universe.

But primary and secondary education, which should provide an entree to great art and thought, has declined into trivialities and narcissistic exercises in self-esteem. Popular culture, once emotionally vibrant and collective in impact (from Hollywood movies to rock music), has waned into flashy, transient niche entertainment. The young, who are masters of ever-evolving personal technology, are besieged by the siren call of materialism. In this climate, it is selfish and shortsighted for liberals to automatically define religion as a social problem that needs suppression or eradication. Without spirituality in some form, people will anesthetize themselves with drink or drugs — including the tranquilizers that seem near universal among the status-addled professional class of the Northeastern elite.

Europe, which has settled into a comfortable secularism, is no model for the future. The great era of European achievement in arts and letters seems to be over. There are local luminaries but no towering figures any longer of the stature of James Joyce, Pablo Picasso, Marcel Proust, Thomas Mann or Ingmar Bergman. Europe is becoming a museum and tourist trap, as people from all over the world flock to see the remnants of Europe’s royal and religious past — the conservative prelude, in other words, to today’s slack liberalism.

So what do you think? Do you think that without some form of spirituality people will anesthetize themselves? Why? If people need spirituality on some deep level in order to cope - then could the Bible be right about the soul?