Got this idea from Maggie’s book.

Age 11 - Spend countless hours laying out at my friend Rachel’s pool listening to Violet Femmes and deconstructing the lyrics to “Blister in the Sun.” What does “big hands I know you’re the one” mean?

Age 11.5 - Meet Sean Connery at the Pebble Beach Pro-Am. Become confused at how attractive I think a man with gray hair is. This haunts me for quite some time.

Age 12- I borrow a turquoise suede jacket with shoulder pads from my mom to wear to the winter dance. I pair it with a white skirt that has three layers of ruffles. I am the best dressed girl there.

Age 12.5 - My “boyfriend” tells me it is time for us to kiss. We meet after school behind the gym. The sun is setting, he is wearing Oakley’s and a hyper color shirt and he smells like Drakar.

Age 13- A tough girl named Autumn wants to beat me up because I looked at her wrong. We plan to meet after school at the lockers. I call my mom and have her pick me up early.

Age 13.5 - I am the victim of my first three-way calling incident. Jenn R. got me to say something about Lindsay M. while Lindsay M. was listening. Drama ensues.

Age 14- We move to Minnesota. I have a long tearful goodbye with my boyfriend who calls the radio station and dedicates Bryan Adams “Everything I do, I do it for you.” I am sure we will get married some day.

Age 14.5 - I learn to speak “Minnesotan.” This involves a long “o” and speaking much slower than I am usually accustomed to. (more on this later)

This has brought back scores of memories. Like sneaking out for the first time, smoking Capri cigarettes, writing the lyrics to Stairway to Heaven on my binder with alternating colored pens and seeing my first Giants vs. Dodgers game. I would never go back to junior high - it was tough -  but I do have some pretty cool memories of “firsts.”

What about you guys? Humiliating junior high memories? Come on, you know you want to share…