Lessons learned in the past few days:

1. If you put your house on the market, don’t be surprised if someone wants to buy it.

2. Too many sugar-free life savers leads to, well, stomach issues.

3. When you spend a certain amount of money in one day, your credit card company might think someone has stolen your card and they might call your house. They might also frighten your husband.

4. When you return a certain amount of goods purchased on said credit card because you’re a jackass who spent too much money in one day, the people behind the counter might think you have a problem. (you in fact do have a problem called “emo-shopping” it’s real, look it up)

5. A double wide trailer in Monterey costs $699,000. This means the kids will have to get used to a single wide….or the back of the car.

6. When tendering your resignation at work, make sure not to give 8 WEEKS NOTICE. You may spend 7 of them sitting awkwardly in your office, feeling a bit useless and writing on your blog.

7. Did I mention that selling your house often leads to MOVING? Who would have thought?

8. Jessica Simpson is one sadistic B. I am wearing a pair of her shoes right now and my feet are preparing a revolt from my body. May have something to do with the fact that 3 toes on each foot are numb.

9. Don’t sign up for a major race in San Francisco in the same few months that you will be moving 2 children, your giant couches and all of your other “s”. You might not have the time to train appropriately.

10. When applying for jobs in a new county, learn to have thicker skin. Not everyone is going to think you are the “bees knees”. That kind of foolery took you 7 years to accomplish at your current place of employment.

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