It’s a bird! It’s a plane! No, it’s…

Some people amble through life directionless. Some people let life’s injustices pass them by. Some people don’t feel obligated to right the wrongs of this world. Well, I ain’t some people.

Cue theme music: “Believe it or not I’m walking on air, never thought I could feel so free-e-e…”

So, much like Mariah Carey, I believe there is a hero in each of us (go ahead sing along, you know you want to). There is a small part of every human psyche that aims to rise above, be great and serve humanity in some way. For me, that little superhero has a name… it is Captain Justice.

My family has referred to me as “the Captain” for some time now. It stems back to my desire to see things “righted” in this very wrong world. Cutting people off in traffic? The Captain says, “no you don’t!” Talking loudly on your cell phone in a restaurant? The Captain will STARE YOU DOWN. Acting like an asshat in general – the Captain will point it out. That is what the Captain does, she let’s you know when you’ve stepped out of the bounds of what she deems is appropriate.

Now, life with the Captain, or CJ for short, isn’t always easy. CJ can change the rules like Superman changes clothes. CJ prefers to have things done the “right way” a.k.a. “her way.” CJ likes to provide a safe environment for everyone so if danger is lurking around the corner, whether it be physical or mental, she is sure to show up and kick some ass.

I tell you all about the Captain because for years I thought it was cute, maybe even endearing. The people in my life were better off because of the Captain’s life saving actions!

However, after many a family snicker at my attempt to make things well with the world, I started to realize that the Captain bordered on…well, bitchy and bossy. Mind you I said  bordered, not fully crossed over.

As a mother now, my CJ tendencies are heightened. My sense of safety and appropriate behavior sound alarms in my head that cannot be ignored. I must let people know what they should do, at all times in order to mother/parent/exist appropriately.

Fast forward to a day at the pool with my parents. My four year old is on the pool raft with my father. My father is baking his already leathery tan body in the sun (hi Dad!) and decides that it is time for a dip in the pool to cool off. As he performs an alligator death roll off of the raft into the water, the raft shimmies and shakes. It tosses the four year old around a bit, but does not put him in any real danger (I would know). However, the movement of the raft scares him a bit.

Does he whine? No.

Does he cry? No.

Does he say: “Well Papa, that wasn’t very safe.” Yes.

Ladies and gentlemen, introducing Captain Justice Junior. Born March 13, 2004 to the proud superhero Mama, Captain Justice Senior.

Look out world, there’s two of us now.

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