Don’t worry, there are pictures. However, read the narrative first as it will make the pictures come to life…

So, last Friday the truck was packed, the house was clean and the door was locked. We left town around 12 noon and went about driving the two hours to our new home, full of anticipation. We joked about how hot it was in the Valley that day and how we couldn’t wait for the foggy Carmel we know so well. The joke was on us.

Usually, as you travel west on the 156 and hit the 101 you can feel the temp drop about 10-15 degrees almost immediately when the ocean is in view. Curiously, the temperature stayed in the 90’s. Then something unbelievable happened, as we rounded the hill past Monterey into Carmel, the temp began to CLIMB to 97 degrees.

Anyone who lives in the Valley would scoff at the fact that we thought this was a bad thing. Surely you’ve heard of air conditioning, right Jenn? Well guess what my adoring fans, this new little abode I like to call the Easy Swede? Yeah she has NO CENTRAL AIR. So, as we pull up with two restless children, sore backs and a full truck, we all begin to realize what this heat means.

It meant that the house was a balmy 102 degrees and we had a crapload of work ahead of us that would leave us all in a puddle of sweat and frustration. As I walked into the house for the first time, the heat hit me in the face like a prize fighter. Then as I looked around I saw a whole lot of stuff that should have gone to storage the week before. So much stuff that we couldn’t unload the new truck full of our crap because, well, THERE WAS NO PLACE TO PUT IT.

As if all of this wasn’t enough, I had been warned before arrival of a little house guest.  This house guest was of the fur and tail nature and it had been “cornered” in the boys room. So, before moving in, I had to “de-rodent” my children’s room. Lovely.

The mouse had been described as a “rat” that was big and black and “stared down” my husband in the hallway prior to my arrival. Folks, you look at the picture of this creature and tell me if it doesn’t look like it just walked off the set of a Cinderella movie, sore from all of the dress sewing she had to do.

Anyway, so first order of business, get rid of the mouse. It only took a minute after we opened the door before the mouse was on the move. My dad and my husband captured this ferocious creature in a box. Then everyone pet it and gave it a name. Mousy.

After a tearful goodbye to the mouse in the neighbor’s ivy plant, everyone was back to work. I can’t begin to explain the mood that settled in the house due to the heat and the exhaustion. Everyone was literally dripping sweat as they carried in boxes. We were all silently cursing my pack rat nature as well… I can’t throw things away, it’s a problem and I’m seeking help.

That night, when the kids finally went to bed my mom and I proceeded to christen the house with a bottle of nice chardonnay. Yes, I do prefer red wine but it was too FREAKING HOT. What my mother and I failed to take  into account as we sipped this adult beverage is our complete dehydration and lack of food intake for the day.

The next thing you know it’s midnight and we decide to go for a walk. In our pajamas. The local high school down the street was our destination and we weren’t at all loud or lacking in judgement as we headed out on this journey. Please see the pictures for proof of our intoxication.

The next day was almost as hot and after a night spent sweating, everyone agreed it was time to go to Costco and purchase some fans. And we did, $125 worth of fans. Three hours later, it was raining. Awesome.

All in all, move in weekend was swell. I am forever indebted to my family for their help, as the conditions weren’t exactly perfect for moving large and heavy objects for hours at a time.

Also included below are a few pictures of the house. Please note the famed dolphin doorknocker. It’s fierce. Everyone has one. And because I know you were dying to see, I took a picture of the easy bake oven. Yes, that is a plate in the oven. A regular size plate - just in case you thought I was exaggerating when I said the oven was small. It’s like Barbie thanksgiving size small. So whatever.

Also, as an added bonus to the no air conditions, small oven, dolphin door knocker attributes of this lovely house, I discovered that it also has electrical wiring from the 1950’s. What does this mean you say? Well it means that when I run my tiny oven, I can not also run my microwave or the dishwasher or the dryer because if I do…the whole house shorts out. AWESOME. Good news is that I never need to run the dishwasher because it too is from the 1950’s and it has wheels. So you can wheel it to the sink and plug it in. SO CONVENIENT!

Stay tuned folks for more stories from the house that keeps on giving…

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