Just Another Jenn

WARNING - GIRL PARTS MENTIONED, PLEASE PROCEED WITH CAUTION

(this is Spanish for if you are my father-in law or my Dad, do us both a favor and skip this post)

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So, I oft set out to prove why I am a total jackass and today, my friends, I succeeded with flying colors. My Mom and Dad came into town for my Mom’s birthday this weekend and I was excited to spend some quality time with them.

First thing’s first, Mom and I head to the mall. I proceed to buy a ridiculously expensive pair of Coach sunglasses and man, am I feeling sassy. I swear I put the glasses on and all of the sudden, BAM! I was Posh Spice, Beck’s is my man-toy and I am hard rocking it people. These sunglasses are amazing, more on that later though.

So, part of our adventure involved a previously standing appointment that I had at a nice spa in Monterey for a little waxing. My Mom wanted nothing to do with this, but I was all in baby. I have been to a few spa’s in my time and feel fairly comfortable in the spa environment. This is usually my downfall, believing far too much in my own ability to act normal in any given situation.

I wait my turn in the incense filled holding area for my esthetician and I am casually wearing my sunglasses indoors, because I am totally famous.

Juliette greets me and we go into Room 3. She explains that I need to get undressed and here is a towel, blah blah, blah. I stopped listening because I had started thinking about how much this was going to hurt and how I should have had a glass of wine before I started this process. Juliette leaves the room and I begin to undress. On the table is a towel and a sanitizing wipe. Now, for those of you who have had a wax before, this is totally normal and you just go about following the directions given to you. However, I was too involved in my Posh pose to listen and now here I am opening the sanitizer and begining, um, application.

WOW! That burns! Ha Ha Ha. Wow, that really burns. Holy Crap, I am burning alive, get water! STAT! As I run around the room looking for water I am sure that she is coming back in the room any minute and she  is going to catch me splashing water on my nether regions and wondering what in the good Lord is going on in here.

After the water puts out the fire, I walk back over to the table and pick up the packet that I so hastily tore open. IT SAYS HAND SANITIZER! Oh my goodness, people hand sanitizer does not go there. So now I am panicking, did I do permanent damage? Clearly I’ve failed to listen to directions? Wait a minute…why do my hands need to be clean for this? What the heck is going on here and does this happen on Dr. 90210?

I jump on the table and try to act normal as Juliette knocks and asks if she can come back in the room. I say yes, and in she comes. She sweetly asked if I was ready.

Um, I think so? Hold on, let me get my glasses…

Tags: being a jackass, hand sanitizers, waxing

This entry was posted on Saturday, July 19th, 2008 at 9:51 pm and is filed under Random thoughts, jenn. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.