Sometimes I can’t help but be brutally honest. Well, most of the time. Take for example that shirt you’re wearing, it isn’t working for you. And the plan you have to make a bunch of money by selling your plasma, I’m going to call “shenanigans.” Not sure when the honesty bug bit me but I really can’t remember a time when I wasn’t infected by it.

Unfortunately, I also lack what some might call a poker face, or the inability to visibly hide my true feelings about a situation. The silly grin pasted across my face probably means I have good news, just as the furrowed brow might mean you are currently annoying me.

As you can imagine, this honesty issue has wreaked havoc on many a relationship or job situation. Over the years I have learned to keep my mouth shut for the most part but most of the time my face gives me away, that cheating bastard. I try really hard to manage what is going on inside my little brain but I now believe that I was meant to tell it like I see it…it is my destiny. Some people are meant to be cowboys or wizards or the President, I was meant to be like Jack Nicolson in A Few Good Men and spill my guts on the witness stand because “you can’t handle the truth.”

So, why the discussion about brutal honesty you ask? Well, sometimes I feel like I hold back on this website. As though I write knowing someone might read this and think differently of me. I really don’t want to do that anymore. This website has been cathartic for me in many ways but I always hold back a bit because I am afraid of offending someone. I obviously don’t want to purposely offend but this website is a form of catharsis for me, a way to vent and toss around my thoughts or feelings about subjects. I want to be able to freely talk about things here, like how hard this move has been emotionally or how I am worried about people liking me or even my struggle with being more joyful. Sometimes I want to write about questioning my belief in God or the decision to have more children but I need the freedom to do so without feeling like someone will be disappointed in me or worried about me. I need people to understand that my writing is a way of processing things; it is neither definitive nor complete by its very nature.

I hope I don’t alienate any of you with this post but if I do, well then I guess it just wasn’t meant to be.  Thank you to those of you who have commented and emailed me about this site, you keep me going and I love the feedback, even when you tell me I am crazy. However, to this I say, can you handle the truth?

Trackback URI | Comments RSS