I have lots to write about - including how I may have mortally injured my mother. However, I have to get some work done today. I promise details in just a bit.

In the meantime, please make sure you are planning to watch the VP debate…it truly will be “must see TV.”  OH and I almost forgot! For you moms out there - go check out www.twittermoms.com. You will never get anything done again! Yeah for social networking!

Alright, I’m embracing a new tactic, so as to make sure my updates don’t get boring. I thought that I would show you some of the things that I would buy, if I weren’t on this fast. And broke. Whatever.

Okay, so here is an adorable cowlneck belted dress from Banana Republic that retails for $130. I would totally wear this to work with heels and then out with the hubby with tall black boots.

Next we have another belted dress in black, again from Banana. This one is a trench style dress that would make me feel like a spy/executive. Who could ask for a better mix? Price = $225.

For a more casual look we have this fantastic silk shirt that is paired here with jeans and a really great necklace (both Banana). I think accessories make the outfit, more people should embrace them. The shirt is $69 and the necklace is on sale for $29 (aka practically free).

Our last Banana item is this amazing camel colored sweater dress shown here with brown tights and knee high brown boots. I think this one is my favorite because I even like the models’ hair. Plus, tights are so hot right now and I’ve been looking for an excuse to wear them. Dress is $110 and the boots are $250 (ouch!).

On to more casual wear, I’m gonna need this coat from Old Navy for the winter – don’t you love the color? Old Navy calls it “Siberian blue” but I call it “will look yummy with my hair color blue.” Best part? It is Old Navy so it only costs $89.

I am also really grooving on this little hoodie from Old Navy. Once again they get the color wrong, they call it Spinach and I call it Fall’s best green. I really should write for these websites. Price? $16 (again practically free).

While the Abercrombie website is practically pornography, I did stop by long enough to “heart” this little navy blue shirt that would look adorable with some chino’s and ballet flats. It is $69.

Oh man, I found the chino’s too! How cute are these? And they are only $59!

Alright, I will stop there. Let’s see what our total is so far:

Cowlneck dress          130

Belted dress              225

Silk shirt                   69

Necklace                   29

Sweater dress           110

Boots                       250

Jacket                       89

Hoodie                      16

Pintuck shirt              69

Chino’s                     59

Total                        $1046

But let’s be honest, I have 30% off coupon for these items because I am a super great deal getter.

Total                 $1046

Less 30%               313

New total            $733

Plus tax (7%)    $52

GRAND TOTAL = $785

Not bad for a day’s work people. This is how you shop like a champion. Any questions?

This weekend, after several days of feeling terrible, I finally dragged myself to the local urgent care for some relief. We have only been here a few months and I’ve yet to get set up with a family doctor so, when in need, I was left with “doc in a box.”

I was up all of Friday night with a wretched sore throat, I couldn’t sleep because every time I swallowed, I would be jolted awake with the pain. I had a fever and was achy all over. Since both of the kids have been sick and required antibiotics, I figured that I might as well give in. So Saturday morning very early I went to the local clinic and waited to see the doctor. I sat there, feeling gross and sorry for myself and wondered if I would have a better experience here at this urgent care than I did when I took Isaac in last week.

Eventually they called me back and a male “nurse”  or “murse” put me in a room. After checking my vitals he told me the doctor would be right with me. As he closed the door, I could hear him begin a conversation the doctor about his hours for the day. I gathered by their conversation that he (the murse) was very unhappy with his job and he wanted to work elsewhere. He kept repeating things like, “they ain’t never gonna appreciate what I do here.” Hmmm. I should’ve known at this point that I was in for quite the examination, because if the murse ain’t happy ain’t no body happy.

The doctor came in shortly there after and proceeded to enter and exit the room about 6 times because he forgot his glasses! his pen! his clipboard! his stethoscope! his mind! ha ha ha! Dear goodness.

After he had all of his “stuff” gathered into one place, he began his exam. Now, I mentioned that my throat was extremely sore and that my glands were swollen so the outside of my throat was tender to the touch. He said he heard me, but he must have left his “listening ears” in the other room as well because he began pushing so hard on my throat I thought my trachea was going to pop.  (can it do that?) I said “ouch” loudly and gave him the evil eye. It didn’t seem to deter him as he then whipped out his knee knocker thing and tapped my cheeks with it until I actually asked him to stop. Is this even a medical technique? What was he trying to determine? If my cheeks have reflexes? 

After asking me to take a few deep breathes and listening to my lungs he declared that I have some sort of throat infection (SERIOUSLY? REALLY? BECAUSE I COULDN’T HAVE GUESSED THAT MR. MEDICAL SCHOOL). He then said the murse, aka Mr. Unappreciated, was going to come in and swab my throat for strep. At this point my “fight or flight” response had just about kicked in at the thought of an unhappy medical employee sticking something all the way down my swollen throat.

Murse waltzes in, tells me not to puke on him and sends a giant q-tip to the depths of my pain riddled throat. I gag reflexively and he quickly moves out of the room without another word. A few minutes pass and then the Doctor comes back in and says that he doesn’t think it is strep but he wants to treat me with antibiotics anyway because “clearly something is going on.” Very reassuring.

Just when I think this visit can’t get any better, the following conversation occurs:

Me:Can you give me something for the pain? My throat is hurting so bad and advil isn’t touching it.

Doc: (slowly, with sarcasm)I have a hard time prescribing pain meds for a sore throat - what do you want, vicodin?

Me:No, I don’t want vicodin, I just want something better than advil because it isn’t working and I have kids to take care of.

Doc:Well, I can give you something like Tylenol with codeine but I’m only going to give you 5.

Me: That is fine, I am not a drug seeker Doctor -if I were, I would have come up with something more believable than a sore throat!

Doc: Look, like I said, I am only giving you 5 and I am going to call it in, I’m not giving you a hand written prescription.

Me: (gasp!) Whatever!

Doc: Just make sure not to take this while you are watching your kids, use it at bedtime only!

Me: What are you talking about? Seriously, are you kidding me with this?

Doc: I will call it in to Target - is that okay?

Me: Fine.

At this point I get up and leave in total shock. I guess I didn’t realize how many people go to urgent care clinics seeking to fufill their drug habbits, or at least they must, because this is the only plausible explanation for this doctors’ behavior.  Not only did he question whether or not I was seeking drugs but then he basically insinuated that I might try to dope up on 5 Tylenol while watching my small children!

After this incident, and many others like it, whereby Iam convinced I have a sign on my forehead that says “say something stupid to me” I have decided that people are not normal. The good news is, the codeine was a blast and now I know which clinic to avoid next time I need it.

Okay people I get it. For one reason or another those of you who know me personally think that I resemble Sarah Palin. Apparently my fervent love for politics and my outspoken nature (along with my glasses) is enough for ALL of my friends and family to send gobs of emails and text messages saying “OMG, it was like watching you on the television!”

For the past two weeks the Easy Swede has been an infirmary. First Isaac had tonsulitis and bronchitis, then Joshua got croup. Four days ago I came down with tonsulitis and laryngitis. Now Kevin has some “itis” as well - for all I know he is suffering from “pain in the ass-itis” from listening to all of the whining that has gone on here for the past two weeks. So why am I telling you about our malady and what does it have to do with Sarah Palin?

Well, yesterday I went to urgent care, where after being questioned about my drug seeking habits, I was written a prescription for Tylenol with codeine. As it turns out, codeine was the one thing missing in my life! My creative gene was apparently inactive prior to my codeine use and now it has been unlocked and I managed to produce some art for you all to enjoy. Also, I will write more about the urgent care visit later, as it was truly memorable.

Hopefully this will put to rest the Sarah Palin text messages.

So many stories, so little time. Here is a list that will serve as a quick summary for the time being:

1. Kevin is in a fashion show tomorrow, at the Plaza in Monterey, I plan on heckling. Wouldn’t you?

2. I was day dreaming about my life and future plans. One of the options on my mind was getting my Masters in Public Policy at CSUMB. Just as I was about to fall asleep, my phone buzzed with an email from CSUMB, letting me know about a Q&A session next month for prospective Public Policy students. I had never before received an email from them…

3. The kids have been sick. They gave it to me and I can hardly talk my throat hurts so much. For the first time in my life I uttered the phrase “I have to go, I can’t stand talking anymore.” At that moment, pigs began flying.

4. The neighbor boy gave Isaac a pair of his old crocs (ick). Beside the fact that they are the most heinous shoes every made, these particular ones are actually green and yellow tie-dyed and Isaac refuses to take them off. I am considering ways in which I could legitimately destroy them - run them over? Leave them at the beach “on accident” or maybe cut a hole in them?

5. I received a multiple page flyer from Nordstroms regarding Fall Shoe styles. I wept.

So much of our lives are composed of times of waiting. Waiting for events, doctors, mail, jobs, babies, etc. We wait mostly because we don’t have control over all things. We can’t control others schedules or mother natures’ plans or God’s timing.

I haven’t exactly been known to be a patient person. When I see something I want, I want it now. When I set a goal, I want to achieve it right away. I struggle infinitely with patience, as I am sure many do. None however, struggle greater with the “waiting” in life than children. Kids don’t grasp that doctors have other patients or candy before dinner isn’t a good idea. They don’t understand why Friday playdates have to be so far away. Most of these times of waiting, which seem endless to a child, are just good learning for what life is really like. Sometimes the “wait” has purpose and sometimes it is just, well,  because.

Yesterday, Kevin promised Isaac that we would roast marshmallows. He got in his mind that we were going to do it right away upon returning from the beach. However, it was 4pm and we needed to eat dinner, take showers and clean up before a fire could be started and the roasting could begin. Isaac must have asked 60 times between 4pm and 6pm when we were going to roast the marshmallows. Every time, our answer was the same, after dinner and after Joshua goes to bed (Joshie and fire are not a good mix, let alone showing him how to stick something INTO the fire).

Isaac grew increasingly impatient with the wait and disappeared into the kitchen. Just as Kevin was getting the fire going and as we were mere minutes away from roasting, Isaac returned with a snack bag of cookies. He asked if he could have the cookies instead of the marshmallows. He had waited, with great anticipation for marshmallow roasting and now when the event was only 5 minutes away, he wanted something else.

I asked him why he wanted the cookies instead and his answer was priceless. He simply looked at me and said: “If I have these, I don’t have to wait anymore and it will be almost as good.”

As he walked away with his cookies, I was thinking about the profound nature of his statement and how unknowingly he had truly summarized a good portion of American culture.  

How often in life do we get right to the edge of something great and give it up for something good, just so we don’t have to wait anymore? Waiting is so hard, it makes us feel as though we aren’t in control of our destiny. Sometimes I catch myself changing my plans in the middle of a long journey just so I can feel a sense of control over the direction.

Obviously, we are all called to times of waiting. I just wonder what, if given more patience, we could really derive from the time of waiting. Maybe the end result is the yummy roasted marshmallow or maybe the waiting itself ends up being the thing you needed but did not know you wanted.

Well, well. Things sure can change in a week. I mean one minute you think you have a drawer full of makeup so why would you even need to shop for that, and then Joshua strikes.

Now I am dying to buy some new make-up, preferably some eye shadow that hasn’t been dunked in microbial water. Also, my favorite bra broke this week, leaving me to the less comfortable ones for everyday wear. Between the make-up and the undergarments, I may be going au natural in no time. NOBODY WANTS TO SEE THAT, TRUST ME.

Captains log #1: When embarking on ill advised travel to new “no shopping” planet, make sure to pack everything in two’s. Noah was on to something.

Until next week,

Weary and Shoppless in Carmel

Seven years. Can you believe it has been seven years? So much has changed and yet I am sure that everyone would say they remember the moment like it was yesterday. My life was so different seven years ago, it was before I was a homeowner, a mother or really, a grown up.

I don’t know why this particular anniversary struck me but this morning it was all I could think about. I remember Kevin waking me up before 6AM and telling me that someone bombed the World Trade Center. I leaped out of bed, being a student of politcs I knew this was of significance. As I came downstairs to watch the television with him, we watched the second plane fly into the towers. We heard the news anchors scream, we heard chaos reign from an institution that is supposed to deliver the news, not emotion. It was chilling.

As you know, the day unfolded and things got so much worse. Stories began to creep out of heroism and sorrow, of patriots and terror. For my generation, this would be our first taste of war. Our first taste of total righteous indignation and desire for defense of country. Generation X would change on this day and so would the world. My parents and their friends watched the news with a cautious eye and a quick recall of wars past, something my generation could not call upon. But we can now.

Three thousand people is a lot. Three thousand mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters and friends.  What happened that day, seven years ago was so raw and compelling that it changed the course of Bush’s presidency and the direction of our nation. Everyone in this country agreed in those first fragile days on two things: this deed will not go unpunished and those who died will not be forgotten. Because of the solidarity and the national convergence of emotion and strength, those in political power enjoyed great approval and agreement. Seven years later, those feelings of agreement are gone, along with the blind trust of this nation.

We took the war to Afghanistan and the people of this country were thrilled to see retaliation. Then we went to Iraq. Seven years later, neither war is won and the fragile political grounds of this country are swirling with disagreement. When I think about why we waged war, the pain and desperation that caused a cry for victory against terrorism, I am subdued. When I think about the current state of that war, I am anxious and fearful that the cause has been forgotten and the goals were interchanged for political gamesmanship.

I am no foreign relations scholar. I am no middle eastern expert. I am just a girl who, seven years ago was compelled to sit on my street curb with all of my neighbors and light a candle for the three thousand people who unwittingly laid down their life for this country. Three thousand people who did not ask for war, but had war reign down upon them. I promised then that I would never forget the phone calls replayed of husbands saying goodbye the their wives and mothers to their children. I would never forget the cold reality of death at the hands of an enemy whose soul was black with hatred.

What we know now that we didn’t on that candle lit night, is that the enemy is illusive and cunning and that absolute political power breeds contempt and corruption. The answers are so few and the problems so complex that this nation is collectively trying to figure out a course of action. Hence the importance of this Presidential election. Maybe Obama will chart the right course, maybe it will be McCain. I don’t pretend to divinely know who would be better suited to finish this war on terror and finally redeem the injustice of seven years ago. Just do me a favor fellow voters, don’t be quick to judge in this election because everything that those three thousand people died for on 9-11-01 is at stake.

Dear Joshua,

I thought I should take a minute to have a mother to son talk with you. However, given that you are 18 months old and have the attention span of a puppy with ADHD, it seemed best to put it in writing.

First off, you are very cute. I think it is possible that you already comprehend this fact and have begun the lifelong process of using this to your advantage. As a former lobbyist and long time professional arguer - my hatt is off to you for figuring out your “ace card” so quickly. However, cute will not get you out of everything.

I present Exhibit A.

What you see here is a picture of yourself, locked in the master bathroom. The photographer is none other than your good ol’ Mom who couldn’t believe you had managed to lock the door all by yourself, considering your 4 year old brother has yet to figure this out. No amount of convincing could get you to try to undo what you had just done, leaving me no option but to treck around the side of the house in hopes the window was open. Lucky for you it was.

On to Exhibit B.

What we have here, my darling youngest child is your older brother saving your butt. No way Mommy was fitting through that window and someone had to save you. When I told Isaac what the task was, his response was poetic: “That kid is so crazy, what are we going to do with him?” Upon approaching the window and the treacherous climb in to save you, he began whining about the possibility of falling. I had no time to reason with him however, because I was busy telling you to stop putting Mama’s make-up in the toilet. However, you just went on and on until everything from my lip gloss to my eyelash curler had taken a dunk in cold waters of our porcelain thrown. I think maybe you locked the door just so you could engage in that delicious pasttime of yours, toilet dunking. Keeping with the puppy theme, you also enjoy drinking from the toilet upon occasion. Oh yes, you heard me right.

As a side note, do you know how many lollipops I had to promise your brother in order to convince him to undertake this “dangerous” task? You can pay the dental bills next year Pumpkin.

Joshua, if you and I are going to co-exist you are going to have to start LISTENING TO MOMMY’S WORDS. When I say things like GET OFF THE TABLE, IT ISN’T SAFE TO STAND THERE, you must learn to do something other than cackle like a wild animal at me.

That brings me to Exhibit C:

This is evidence of A). Your cuteness and B). YOU STANDING ON THE TABLE AGAIN.

Joshie, Mommy loves you dearly and will support you should you desire to be an X Games athlete, but until you are old enough to actually talk to me with real words, we need to find a compromise. Because honestly, I don’t think Isaac can handle any more rescue attempts and Mommy can only stretch so far.

With Love,

Mama

Yesterday we decided to take dinner to the beach with our neighbors and their two boys. We went to a beach I have never been to in this area called Ribera Beach. It is absolutely hidden and completely beautiful. We basically had the whole beach to ourselves and even though it wasn’t sunny yesterday evening, it was relatively warm. We played on the rocks and ran around in the sand, we even managed to spot some otters.

In view from Ribera Beach is the famed Monastery Beach, where multiple people have died over the years. So, while Ribera was pretty, it wasn’t somplace we would go swimming. However, it was perfect for an end of summer picnic. For those of you who come to this site for the pictures (Hi Mom!) this post is for you…

P.S. Joshua ate charcoal at the beach. Our friends assured me he wouldn’t die because charcoal is what they give kids who have ingested poison. It was still quite a debacle, as he was covered in soot and his teeth were black. He looked like a hobo. That’s my kid.