Nov 12 2008
A False Dilemma
I don’t want to open up a hornet’s nest. However, I can’t stop thinking about this issue, probably because a week after the election, it is still front page news. The issue is Prop 8 and how I am still upset that it passed.
I know some of you are saying - but Jenn you are a church going Christian, don’t you believe that marriage is between a man and a woman? The answer is, yes. I, in fact, do believe that marriage is between a man and a woman. However, that is not what Prop 8 was really about.
Those who sponsored Prop 8 presented you and I with a false dilemma. They forced us to choose whether or not gay couples in California could marry, under our (read:Judeo-Christian) definition of marriage. But this is not the real issue. I believe the backers of Prop 8 used the Christian community to rally against gay marriage, without dealing with the real question - do we as a country allow a group of citizens the right to be in union (whatever you want to call it) with whom they choose? You see, I believe when presented with the option to allow gay couples the same legal rights as straight couples, Californians would have voted YES! All people should have the same rights under the law, no matter their beliefs.
Let me explain further - just because I believe in Jesus and what He said about marriage, does that mean I can’t be supportive of other people who don’t believe what I believe about Jesus? Does that mean that the rights of those people should be reduced by the difference between our two belief systems? I don’t think so. Further, for those that saw the signs saying “Protect Our Families - Vote Yes on 8″ - I ask you, how exactly do gay couples threaten our families? If we are really worried about protecting our families then maybe we should consider our own actions at home before we chastise the actions of others.
I do not put my faith in Government. I do not expect Government to advocate for my beliefs. Mostly because what if they get it wrong? (as they are often known to do) Sometimes Christians miss the obvious on this issue - like what if the Government advocated for Catholic beliefs? Or Southern Baptist? Or Mormon? Even in the ”Christian” community there are thousands of bifurcations on beliefs. I think author and commentator Cal Thomas puts it well:
Thirty years of trying to use government to stop abortion, preserve opposite-sex marriage, improve television and movie content and transform culture into the conservative Evangelical image has failed. The question now becomes: should conservative Christians redouble their efforts, contributing more millions to radio and TV preachers and activists, or would they be wise to try something else?
I opt for trying something else.
Too many conservative Evangelicals have put too much faith in the power of government to transform culture. The futility inherent in such misplaced faith can be demonstrated by asking these activists a simple question: Does the secular left, when it holds power, persuade conservatives to live by their standards? Of course they do not. Why, then, would conservative Evangelicals expect people who do not share their worldview and view of God to accept their beliefs when they control government?
One of my sisters is gay. She lives with her partner and I adore them both. They do not share my view of God or my belief in the Bible. They got married a couple of months ago in a brief civil ceremony. They desire to be with each other until their lives here on earth are over. How can I look at them and say - because I believe in the Bible, and I believe that gay marriage is not what God intended, they therefore should not be together? I, in fact, can not. Maybe that is a weakness of faith on my behalf. However, no matter what I certainly can not ask the government that governs us both to chose my way of life over theirs. It would be a constitutional breach of their rights to pursue their liberty and happiness.
Prop 8 asked us to define, in our Constitution, marriage as being between a man and a woman. We were forced to make a socio-religious decision between two false choices. As usual, the answer to the question of gay marriage lies somewhere in the gray middle, not in the dark spaces on each side. However, I believe there is a very clear answer to the question of whether or not our government should afford the same rights to all citizens of this country, no matter their beliefs.
What do you think?
Ahhhhh…thank you so much for putting my exact thoughts down on this post. You may or may not know that I have resisted and struggled with my relationship with God pretty much my whole life, because I felt that I had to act a certain way or believe only one way, or vote a certain way, etc. Prop. 8 really brought that struggle to light once again. There was no way in heck I was going to vote “yes” but I felt that I couldn’t share my feelings about it with a lot of my Christian friends. I felt like they were all conforming and didn’t REALLY think about the issue. Between both Ryan and I, we have 3 gay cousins and want them to have the best life they can and have the same rights as the rest of us. Thank you for being the voice that I don’t have enough guts to be:)
You make very good points. Why are moral topics on a ballot to begin with? This makes no sense.
I agree that the issue shouldn’t have been on a ballot but California voters were forced to choose so there was no option there… As far as the biblical part of all this, I don’t think it’s a gray area… to me it’s very black and white. It’s hard to choose to believe and live by ALL of what Jesus said but I don’t think it’s up to us to choose which issues we’ll take and which we’ll pass. Jesus was NOT politically correct then and to be a follower of Jesus means we will most likely not be politically correct Today. It’s hard…
Jenn, seriously you are scaring me at this point. It is as if you have been spying on my email communications with my family members and wrote down all my thoughts (but with better spelling and gramer (is that with two “m”s . . see)). Anyways, I completely agree with you. We shouldn’t be mixing religion with government. Just because I believe the way I do does not mean that I should have the right to force others to follow my same path. Isn’t that Jesus’ whole M.O. anyways. He wanted people to choose him that’s why he gave us free will. Try having this argument with Assyrians who came here from countries where they personally faced religious persecution. It just doesn’t make sense. How could they want to impose their beliefs and ideas on others the sa,e way Islamic beliefs and ideas were pushed on them?
P.S. Bethanni I am happy that you feel comfortable enough with your relationship with God that you could stand up for equal rights for all man kind.
Name a law that we as society follow that is not morally based? Murder, tax evasion, theft, whatever. They are all based on a moral law whether you have an active faith in God or not. Where does that moral compass come from and why should that be any different when voting for Prop 8. Who decides that moral compass?
Jenn D -
It’s not our place to judge. Quite the contrary, it’s our place as Christians to love. God only gave two commands, which conveniently encompass everything Jesus spoke about; that is to love the Lord your God and to love your neighbor. A gay couple getting married is neither here nor there in relation to those two commands. Sadly the “religious right” has sabotaged Christianity turning it into Anti-Christianity. Example:
Man on the street: What do Christians believe?
First response usually: Oh, Christian’s, don’t they hate gays?
That is tragic. I don’t want to be stereotyped into that. I refuse. Jesus would be hanging in the Castro people. Believe it.
Can I relate? Sure. How would I respond if someone told me I couldn’t marry my beautiful wife, the love of my life? I would be crushed. I’d be pissed. I’d stop paying my taxes (Hi Melissa!). But what if instead of my lovely wife, it was my 18 year old daughter. You see, we’re in love. We’re both consenting adults, why shouldn’t we be able to marry? “That’s just wrong”, you say. (Wait, don’t go passing moral judgements now) “That’s being extreme, like saying you would marry your dog”. Well I’m glad you brought that up, (because I couldn’t find a better yam <– old friend humor) let’s say I’m in love with my dog. Shouldn’t I have that right? Don’t forget about NAMBLA. Where do we draw that line?
Let’s talk benefits. Same sex couples in CA are granted nearly all the same benefits as married couples, we just call it something different. Elton John touched on it today in saying why go after marriage, just get all the same rights in a civil union (a move which I’m sure will revoke his ‘gay rights advocate’ membership). Granted for some rights you need to have lived together for so many years, essentially a domestic partnership… A ‘No on 8′ victory would have no doubt been a catapult into mainstream acceptance, something the gay community desperately desires, yet it would have provided little other benefits over the current laws in place today. So why the pursuit of the word ‘marriage’?
If you want to go further, a question I will never know the answer to, but continue to ask: why are gay people gay? Are they born that way? Surely they must, if we are talking about rights (which are always about those things of which we are born: race, sex, etc) If we are all born in the image of God, then how does that line up as Paul talks about sexual immorality and homosexual behavior in Romans? Is it because there is sin in the world? Is it like those born with handicaps, so that God can be glorified through them? If we could only find a ‘gay gene’, then it would make this so much easier.
I agree, it was a lame thing to vote on, but so was that stupid train thing. What’s our proper response as Christians in regards to Prop 8? I don’t know. What does God care about? Oh, that’s easy, look inside your heart.
But check this out - we’re gett’n a Bullet Train! Whoo Hoo!
Can sisters marry sisters who really arent sisters at all?