Archive for December, 2008

« Older Entries
7 comments

Keeping it real in 09′


2008
12.30

Tags: , ,
Posted in Random thoughts, jenn, lists | 7 Comments »

Every year I set goals on New Years. Every year by my birthday on January 5th, all if not most of them, are broken (more later on why I have the WORST BIRTHDAY EVER). Anyhow, this year I have decided that I will set realistic goals for 2009, and henceforth refer to it as the Year of Realism. Really.

 

Goal 1 - Obtain and wear cute pajamas

Okay, you know the t-shirt you got from the 10k run your friend did in high school and then you borrowed it and she moved away and you still have it? Yeah, I sleep in that t-shirt. The pants are an equally ill-advised Marshall’s find that never fit right in the first place 5 years ago when you got them and that is why they were only $4.99. My husband and my children deserve better than to see me put on clothes that homeless people would pass up every night at 7 p.m.  New pajamas for me in 2009! Who says you can’t go to bed cute?

 

Goal 2 - Reduce caffeine intake, slightly.

I am the girl who carries her giant Starbucks travel mug in to work every day and then chases it with a soy latte in the late afternoon. The caffeine addiction needs to stop but that isn’t realistic and remember this is the Year of Realism soooooo, I am going to commit to one caffeinated beverage a day. Period.

 

Goal 3 - Loose 5 pounds.

I need to loose 10 pounds so I am compromising by cutting it in half for now and saying that I will loose 5 pounds. I joined Weight Watchers (I promise a post on this very soon) and I am committed to loosing at least 5 pounds and then re-evaluating after that.

 

Goal 4 - Be quiet more often

I am a talker. Wow, is that an understatement. I realized lately when I was mad at someone that I get really quiet toward people when I am mad at them, subsequently I hear everything that they say. I need to do that more - more listening, not more being mad at people. I just talk too much, more silence would reduce my stress and the stress on those around me.

 

Goal 5 - Have more sex

Okay this one is tricky. Well not tricky but sensitive. Not really sensitive but embarrassing. Wow, awkward! I read this thing about the couple that had sex every day (NOT HAPPENING, SORRY HONEY) but anyway they said it was really good for their relationship and it reduced stress to incorporate the “act” more often in their daily routine. So, enough said.

 

So that is the Top 5 Realistic Goals of 2009 for Jenn. What are some of your realistic goals?

3 comments

Christmas cookies, babies in space and the nativity scene.


2008
12.22

Tags: , , , , ,
Posted in family, isaac, jenn, joshua, kevin, the boys | 3 Comments »

This weekend I made 100 sugar cookies. I am broken and tired but they are finished. Every year I make the same cookies and every year I swear I won’t do it again because they are so much work. However, sometime around the 20th of December I find myself knee deep in flour and sugar and home made icing.

The recipe I use is from Mrs. Fields cookie cook book, and it is very simple. I just quadruple the ingredients and then add some powdered sugar frosting. This year I used powdered sugar to roll the dough out, which was a GREAT new trick because the dough doesn’t get hard with added flour and the cookies are a little sweeter! Below is what they look like before frosting:

 

 

And here is the final product:

I bought Christmas themed Chinese food boxes and put about 6-8 cookies in each box and attached a bow. I then delivered my little goodies to my fellow employees. Yeah me!

 

Tomorrow I will post pictures of the boys Christmas pageant, whereby about 35 toddlers re-enact the nativity scene, complete with a fake baby Jesus. It was more hilarious than words can describe but the pictures will give you some idea of the fun had by all.

 

On the way to school the morning of the pageant, as Isaac was preparing for his role as one of the 3 Kings, he was more pensive than usual. I could tell he was really thinking about something so I asked him what was going on in his little noggin that had him so serious. He said he was thinking about babies. It took me a while but I realized that the whole nativity scene thing had him rather focused on baby Jesus, thus he was “thinking about babies.”

The following conversation ensued:

Me: What babies are you thinking about?
Isaac: I was thinking about where babies come from.
Me:Hmmm. (in my head, HOLY CRAP COME UP WITH SOMETHING CLEVER NOW!!!)
Isaac: Where do Mommies come from?
Me: Girls become mommies when they have babies.
Isaac: But how do they get the babies?
Me: They are in their bellies and then they come out.
Isaac: Oh I know what happens!
Me: (oh crap, here we go)
Isaac: The babies are in space and God catches them up and then throws them to earth and into the mommies bellies. Yeah! That’s it, that is how it happens.
Me: Wow Isaac, you are so smart because that is EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENS!

 

Clearly this kid is going to outwit me very soon…actually who am I kidding? I think he is smarter than me now. I’ve decided he should have been delivered with an instruction manual and education requirements. His brother however, just needed a helmet and some boxing gloves.

 

 

 

 

2 comments

Manic Exploding Holiday Casserole


2008
12.17

Tags: , , ,
Posted in easy swede, events, holidays, rant, the MOVE | 2 Comments »

This favorite holiday dish can be found lingering in the kitchens of thousands, if not millions of homes, around the world this time of year. I thought I would I share my personal recipe with you!

 

  • Take 1 major commercial holiday, add economic recession and stir
  • In a separate bowl, mix 2 parts family drama and 1 part personal career meltdown
  • Add a pinch of weight gain and self-loathing to taste
  • Finally, stir in a decision to move in the month of January to a new house because the one you are in doesn’t have central heat and you forgot what having toes feels like.
  • Combine all ingredients in a large casserole dish and wait for the manic explosion

 

This holiday recipe will not disappoint!

 

Yes you heard me right, we are moving to a new house in January. The new house part is great. The packing and moving at this time of year, with two small children might actually kill me. I suppose the good news about my impending death is apparently God’s house has many rooms, I am sure all of which have central heating.

 

Mazel tov!

 

1 Comment

7 pound 8 oz sweet baby Jesus


2008
12.15

Tags: , , ,
Posted in Random thoughts, holidays | 1 Comment »

We sang Christmas carols in church yesterday. Normally I hate this. I know, Scrooge right? I also hate singing patriotic songs. Send me to Gitmo now and save our country the heartache. Anyhow, I guess I just don’t feel the emotion in those Christmas songs - like we might as well be singing Jingle Bells because Away in a Manager carries the same emotional significance for me. All of the Christmas songs are simply something I’ve memorized over the many years but don’t take to heart. I could file them under: things that take up space in my brain where important stuff could reside, like understanding cell mitosis or how to balance a checkbook.

 

Absentmindedly fumbling through the church bulletin, I was barely paying attention to the words of the song as I mouthed them from memory. Then it struck me. The similarity - how have I missed it all these years? You see, there is a moment, when a child enters this earth that is positively spiritual. There are no words to describe what it feels like to labor in so much pain, and then suddenly to be handed a wiggling, crying little baby - a baby that is part you and part your mate. You don’t even bother to breathe in that moment as this life is passed through you, into the world and then into your open arms. It is the perfect moment, different with each child but equally brilliant with light.

 

As a pregnant woman you spend 9 months wondering about that baby inside you, dreaming of his/her face and praying for 10 fingers and 10 toes. When you hold that child for the first time, the rush of love and expectation is so great it could knock you over if you weren’t already laying down. The weight of the moment overtakes your soul like a storm and you are defenseless in its’ wake.

 

Thus was my experience with an “ordinary” baby. A baby that will grow up to be a sinful human like the rest of us. So what, must it have been like when the only perfect baby was born? What hallowed ground must Mary and Joseph known they were on? How desperate in labor and how fulfilled in delivery must Mary have been? What must it have felt like to be handed the King of the Earth, swaddled and warm?

 

I can’t fathom the feel of the air that night, electric with Joy that earth’s only true King had been born amongst animals and sinners and hay. Every mother believes her baby is one of a kind, but imagine Mary’s jubilation as her faith was rewarded with a bundle of grace and spiritual royalty. Hallowed ground, indeed.

 

As this realization twinkled then grew bright as the sun on my mind’s horizon, I was suddenly filled with a new understanding for these old Christmas hymns. In fact it was a Silent Night, Holy Night. I do desire to Come and behold Him, born the King of Angels. There is Joy to the world because the Lord is come, let earth receive her King!

 

3 comments

Be Brief


2008
12.11

Tags: , ,
Posted in Good reading, Random thoughts | 3 Comments »

Thanks to my friend Danaly - I found myself on this website.

 

It made me think about how we use so many words and sometimes, only a few are needed. Hemingway thought this concept up and called it “micro-fiction”. I wonder though if we could tell our own stories in six words. So readers, tell me something about yourself in 6 words?

 

I’ll go first:

 

Five positive tests, two healthy babies.

 

Lost father, was given a Dad.

 

Love the politics, hate the practitioners.

 

 

 

 

 

 

4 comments

How I got in a fight with a Firefighter and other tales of holiday merriment.


2008
12.11

Tags: , , ,
Posted in Random thoughts, jenn | 4 Comments »

The other night we were returning to our house around 7 p.m. in the evening. It was dark and the kids were grumpy. There had already been threats of “time outs” should the yelling/hitting/looking at each other, etc.  not stop (between the boys, not Kevin and I). Needless to say the mood in the car was a bit tense.

 

To understand the little story I am about to tell, you must know that an extended care facility for the elderly is on our street so we often have emergency vehicles paying the area a visit. It is sad, I know. However, the children quite enjoy the up close time with fire trucks and ambulances because they are boys and shiny cars with lights make them go crazy (boys are simple creatures).

 

So, as we pull on to our street, we immediately notice two fire trucks and an ambulance blocking a portion of the road. There is however, still enough space for us to pass, so Kevin inches forward. Suddenly a fireman starts waiving his flashlight around - not at us, just at the ground. I would soon learn that this was his way of saying “Stop” but at the time, it seemed like a good idea to move forward some more.

 

Kevin was literally going 2 miles an hour and the guy was still 100 yards away, when all of the sudden the fireman starts screaming at us -

 

“I said STOP YOUR VEHICLE NOW! STOP! STOP”

 

He was waving his light again, at the ground, as though we knew what this meant. By the time he screeched out his second “STOP” we were already stopped so his reaction startled us a little. I rolled down the window and said “we live on this street.” Well, apparently them’s fightin’ words because he started screaming at me again -

 

“I SAID STOP!”

 

Upon hearing the last part of “STOP” something in me snapped. Who is this guy and why is he yelling at me on my own street? What does this flashlight bobbing mean and is it the universal symbol for something I am unaware of ? I feel like I am up to date on emergency communication but maybe not…

 

So, I poke my head out the window and yell back:

ME:  I don’t know what you are doing with your flashlight, is that supposed to mean something to me?

Angry fireman: I AM TELLING YOU TO STOP, DO NOT MOVE FORWARD.

ME: OKAY! I AM NOT MOVING! I SIMPLY DIDN’T KNOW WHAT YOU MEANT!

AF: I HAVE TO PROTECT MY MEN AT ALL COSTS!

ME: YOUR MEN? WHAT? DID YOU THINK I WAS GOING TO BARREL THEM OVER GOING 2 MILES AN HOUR?

AF: STAY IN YOUR CAR, MAM!

 

Dear lordy, now I am pissed. How dare he yell at me like that? As though I am some threat to society. Anyway, at this point my husband decides it is time to chime in and let me know I need to calm down. I was ready to get out of the car and punch this angry firefighter in the noggin but once again Kevin’s calm and cool demeanor saves me from jail time. I don’t know what I would do without that mellow husband of mine, but I am pretty sure it involves starting a gang and roaming the streets looking for emergency personnel to terrorize.

 

Because my children are now eerily quiet and watching with wide eyes the exchange between Mama and the fireman, I realize that I should calm down and resist my carnal urges. This takes some serious self-control, considering I am pretty sure firefighters don’t carry guns so it will be a fair fight.

 

I don’t know what it is about the holidays but I can go from zero to maniac in about 3 seconds during the month of December. I have to keep reminding myself to calm down and resist the desire to level everyone in my path with my ridiculously loud voice and catlike reflexes.

 

After the exchange with angry fireman, I decided I need to have the following phrase on repeat in my brain “Jesus is the reason for the season.” For some reason, when you repeat the name “Jesus” in your head it keeps you from going ballistic when people act like idiots.

 

I will say though, it has taken some time to get the normal refrain out of my head, “It’s the eye of the tiger it’s the thrill of the fight…”

 

 

2 comments

Tree Time


2008
12.09

Tags: , , ,
Posted in Random thoughts, events, family, isaac, jenn, joshua, kevin, the boys | 2 Comments »

Well, as my last post indicated, we got our tree last night. It wasn’t without a bit of stress and the usual family calamity that I’ve grown so accustomed to. You see, when we moved last June, a good portion of our stuff went in to storage. Well the Christmas stuff, the stuff I spent years collecting and hundreds of dollars amassing, is at the very back of the storage unit. Basically it is unreachable.

 

So, I had to head to Target to pick up a few decorations and some lights so that we may have some semblance of Christmas this year. By the time I got to Target and saw all of the people, I was much more “Bah Humbug” than I was “Jingle Bells!” In fact, I really just wanted to cancel Christmas this year.

 

Luckily, by the time we got to the tree lot, my mood had changed and we managed to have some fun. Isaac was so excited to pick a tree and Joshua was just excited to be on an adventure so their collective merriment made up for my utter lack of holiday cheer. We managed to snap a few cute pictures of the event for your viewing.

 

In the end, the tree was decorated, the lights were hung and Mariah Carey’s Christmas album was ringing throughout the halls. Happy Holidays!

 

 

 

5 comments

Merry Freaking Christmas!


2008
12.08

Posted in Random thoughts, joshua | 5 Comments »

If I had any guts at all, this would be our family Christmas card this year. However, pretty sure Kevin’s very conservative grandfather would have a heartattack if he opened the mail and saw this:

 

3 comments

Crows Feet On Crack


2008
12.02

Tags: , ,
Posted in Random thoughts, jenn | 3 Comments »

I like to take pictures. The people in my little family don’t like to sit still for said pictures. So sometimes I experiment with my camera on myself. This usually ends in several awkward, what I like to call “myspace/facebook angle” pictures. You know, the one where your arm is extended and your chin tipped downward, trying desperately to hide the fact that you stood and posed by yourself because you couldn’t bring yourself to ask someone - “Hey can you take a picture for me to post on my favorite social networking site so that I look cool and people from high school won’t think I’m a douchbag?”

 

Anyhow, Sunday afternoon I was taking some lame self portraits and managed to snap a cool one.  I was jazzed about the lighting and then… I looked a little closer. Well, hells bells, methinks someone needs a little magical cosmetical surgical intervention (I just made that phrase up, I am wrinkled but damn funny, right?). Okay so take a looksie for yourself.

 

However, heed my warning fellow thirtysomethings - back up from the camera, the close up shot is no longer your friend.

 

 

 

Look, I didn’t even start on the “I have giant pores” issue. Clearly I need a facial. I am taking donations for both spa treatments and magical cosmetical surgical interventions. I accept PayPal. And cash.

4 comments

Best Before 1-5-2006


2008
12.02

Tags: , ,
Posted in Random thoughts | 4 Comments »

While doing my morning web surfing, I came across this ad on Craigslist:

 

 

 

At first I was shocked that egg donation pays so well. Who would have thought. I sat there for a minute imagining the conversation with Kevin as I told him that I found a way to make more money.  Then, I realized something. Notice the age qualifier in the add.

 

Ages 21-29 ONLY!

 

So even if I wanted to donate my eggs, they wouldn’t take them. The worst part? I am almost 3 years past their expiration date. People my eggs are like the milk in the fridge that you wonder about, sniff at, and then decide to pour out. One more career option down the drain…

 

I guess I am moving on to plasma donation, it will take more dedication but at least there isn’t an expiration date. Your plasma doesn’t go bad, right?

 

 

« Older Entries
FireStats icon Powered by FireStats