Archive for January, 2009

A Pox On You!


2009
01.31

I don’t know if it is just me or maybe it is global warming, so I guess we can blame Al Gore. But seriously. I mean S.E.R.I.O.U.S.L.Y.

 

I get home from Texas today, the sun is shining and my kids are waiting for my arrival with open arms. I can’t tell you how excited I was to be back here, in Carmel. I love living here, I love our new house. After a lovely afternoon with the family and a great nap, we started a little clean up in the kitchen and Kevin got the dishwasher going.

 

About a half hour later, I walk into the hallway. Or should I say, the river? I don’t know how all the physics or pipes or accounting work but somehow the dishwasher on the other side of the kitchen, was causing a fountain of water to spurt from inside the utility closet in the hallway. When I opened the doors to the closet, not only was water pouring out, so were the contents of our garbage disposal. Food, ground up bits of food and several buckets worth of water all over the stuff in the closet, floor and walls.

 

The plumber came, and while it wasn’t as fun as the last time we had a late night visit from a plumber…the guy was pleasant. However, it won’t be fixed until tomorrow and in the meantime we can’t use our kitchen. Lovely, considering we are having a Superbowl party tomorrow.

 

I will fill you all in after we know what the problem is and after I take some xanax and try to recover from the myriad of things that have happened over the past 2 weeks.

The Stars At Night


2009
01.26

Welcome to Texas y’all!

 

So, I am lucky enough to be in the great state of Texas this week for work. Well, not really lucky but hey, you have to keep a positive outlook right? I decided that while I’m here I should pick up the accent because everything sounds better in a southern drawl.

 

 For instance:

 

Oh darlin’ I love you but it just ain’t workin’ for me, ya’ll take care.

 

I mean, would you even know you were being broken up with? I think not. Anyway, as I sit in training all week, I am perfecting my southern lilt, sure to impress the waiters and waitresses each evening as we try new Texas fare. So far, I have been to a Texas Land and Cattle and a Chuy’s. Both very good, I think Chuy’s ranks a little higher for me because of the margherita’s. Everything tastes better with tequila y’all!

 

We are staying outside Austin in a town called Lakeline or Lakeport or Lakeland or something. Sad part is I have not seen a lake anywhere. It is foggy and dreary and I am missing my quaint little hometown - not to mention my babies! So much good stuff is going on at home with the new house that I hated to leave but work callls. Speaking of work, I have some exciting new opportunities coming up, two job interviews and a possible consulting gig and I am really, really hoping that one of these things pans out. It has been a while since I have enjoyed my job and I am feeling the need to be challenged again. So if you are of the praying sort, please do.

 

Later this week we are staying in downtown Austin near 6th Street. Those of you familiar with this part of the state - any suggestions? I would like to experience some Austin “weirdness” if at all possible. For those of you unfamiliar with Austin, apparently it is the most liberal town of the state and they fancy themselves to be like Santa Cruz - to which I say…I will believe that when I see it.

 

More to come from the great Country I mean state of Texas. In the meantime, catch y’all some shut eye, ya hear?

And then I cried.


2009
01.23

So much to say, so much to write about this move. There are leasing agents I’d like to string up by their evil toes, incidents with garbage men, and soapy basements - all stories worth telling. I insist on starting from the beginning though so, let’s just cover Day 1 today.

 

Moving day (Saturday) started with a bang, or rather a ralph - Joshua started puking from a high fever at 1am that morning. Needless to say, I was without sleep going into the big day. As 7am approached I was up and headed to Starbucks for caffeine reinforcement. Despite the sick baby I was in relatively good spirits and ready for the long day ahead.

 

Mostly the day went as expected, a few broken items, lots of muttering and cursing over bruised shins and dropped boxes. Everyone who showed up to help was fantastic and made the occasion better than it should have been. At the end of the day, with boxes everywhere and a mountain of unpacking and cleaning ahead of me like a looming mountain, I was spent. I had very little sleep the night before and had worked myself to the bone for about 16 straight hours. So, I bid my guests goodnight and retired to my new master bathroom where my jacuzzi tub awaited me. The jacuzzi  tub that made me want to rent this house in the first place.

 

I ran the water, got in and took a deep breath. After 8 months without a bathtub, this was as close to Heaven as I could imagine. I decided that tonight was as good a night as any to try out the jacuzzi function and reached for the button. This is where things get kinda fuzzy and the emotional scarring begins.

 

Eyes closed, head resting, I reach for the button and depress it with ease. Joyously the tub fills with aerated bubbles and I sigh contentedly. Before said sigh had run its course, it was replaced with a shriek. Apparently the gentleman who rented this house before us, didn’t fancy himself to be a jacuzzi bath taker. You want to know how I know this? Because BLACK MOLD SHOT OUT OF THE JETS AND ALL OVER MY BODY! Let me re-iterate, BLACK SLIMEY CHUNKS OF MOLD ON MY BODY!

 

I jumped up and began draining the bathtub, while furiously trying to get the pieces off of me. As I sat on the edge of the tub, near tears, waiting for the gross water to drain all I could do was laugh. This had to be a joke. I mean after all of my hard work and lack of sleep, isn’t it just my luck that my naked body would end of covered in mold?

 

While it seems reasonable that I would just clean out the tub and run another bath, alas, there was no more hot water. Whoever added the master addition on installed a seriously insufficient water heater for the tub, so that was that. No hot water, no bath.

 

Sometimes I wonder why these things happen to me but then I am reminded, if they didn’t….what in the world would I write about on this webpage? Happy reading y’all!

 

 

 

Shoplifters will be prosecuted


2009
01.20

Two weeks ago I needed some boxes in order to start packing for the big move. In the spirit of saving money, I decided I was going to go to a few of our local grocery stores and ask for boxes from their produce departments. A long, long time ago I used to work at a grocery store and I had the lovely task of throwing boxes into the baler each night, so I knew that grocery stores were abundant with extra boxes.

 

I’ll admit, I felt a little like a beggar for bumming boxes off of the grocery clerk instead of ordering them online or buying them someplace. However, I was determined to save a few dollars. Once again I am placing little to no monetary value on my pride.

 

The first store went so smoothly that I decided to try another. This time I went to Safeway and with new found confidence I strolled right to the back of the store and asked one of the workers for extra boxes. He was obliging and filled my cart to the brim with boxes. So full in fact was the cart, that I had to peek around the side of it in order to steer straight. I noticed I was getting a few strange glances from fellow customers but I didn’t care - these boxes were free!!!

 

As I got to the exit, it felt like the wheels on my cart were stuck. I kept pushing the cart forward but something was blocking the front wheels. About this time, I hear a faint alarm but pay no attention to its’ cause, as I was too focused on getting my cart to move forward. I was in the middle of the doorway, cart stubbornly stuck and boxes falling hither and yon every time I tried to push the cart toward the door. I am so focused in fact on the task at hand that I can barely hear a grocery clerk yelling “hey lady that alarm is for YOU!”

 

Once this message registered in my tiny brain I was mortified. Why would the alarm go off? Why wasn’t my cart moving? Before I could ask these questions out loud, a breathless clerk is standing in front of me, exasperated that I haven’t been listening to his pleas to stop what I am doing. He has some type of remote in his hand and I am kind of scared that he might taser me at this point. I think I may have even put up my hands as a gesture of peace. Instead of shooting me, he leans down and points the remote at the cart’s front wheels. I ask him what is going on and he explains that when a cart enters the store and then leaves without going through the checkout stand, the wheels lock up.

 

Oh.

 

So, it wasn’t that the wheels were stuck on some object I couldn’t identify due to the mountain of free boxes blocking my view. It was the “robo wheel” and its’ crime fighting sensors. Who would have thought.

 

Needless to say, everyone is now watching me and the clerk and the robo wheel cart. After he unlocks the wheels, I stumble out to the car with a red face. People the lesson here is - nothing in life is free. Even free boxes have a price.

 

This was just the start of the hilarity that was our big move. I have so much to write about - however after four straight days of moving, a sick Joshua, a sick Isaac and now a sick Mommy, I am burned out. So, more to come later but I thought you would all like to know that grocery stores are taking a bite out of crime these days -  so watch out.

Regularly Scheduled Programming


2009
01.11

Oh people, once again this whole moving thing has swallowed me whole. I promise at least one real post this week, even if it kills me. You guys had so much feedback on that cosmetics post that I just may have to do a follow-up. However, I have been informed by my male readership (Aaron) that if I keep posting on such ridiculous matters, they are going to leave and never come back. So I promise an “anti” make-up post, like something about cars or sex. Or sex in cars. That is what guys talk about right? 

 

Until then, if you find yourself bored do the following:

 

start weight watchers

begin p90X workouts (google it)

agree to travel for 6 days (work) right after you move into a new house

move into a new house for the second time in 8 months

try not to die and/or kill your spouse

 

I am hungry all the time and sore from working out,  I should be great company in Austin, Texas at the end of the month when I have to go to training for work. I should say that I really do like weight watchers so far, it is just the whole portion control thing that gets me. Like, I had no idea that I can’t eat a whole chicken in one setting. Did you? Also, 1 cup or 1 tsp of anything is never enough. I knew I should have looked into that lap band surgery. Anyhow, at the rate I am going if I don’t look like a hard body in 90 days, someone is gonna pay.

 

 

Skin Deep


2009
01.06

Lots of you know that I love make-up and hair. I grew up in and around salons that my mother owned and several of my sisters are, or were at some point, stylists. Further, as I mentioned before, my father owned 4 beauty schools. People, this stuff is in my blood.

 

My mother made me promise that I would go to college and not beauty school and I kept my promise. All the while, I labored in front of bathroom mirrors up and down the state of California doing my friends hair and make-up for different occasions. For years, as I well paid for a career in politics, I was thankful that my interest in beauty was no more than a side gig. Now that I sit working as a glorified secretary, the salon life doesn’t seem so bad.

 

Anyhow, I digress. Over the years my friends have often asked for my advice on skin care products or lip gloss or hairspray and I have offered many a suggestion. I have tried most hair care lines and I have purchased a small fortune’s worth of beauty products. There are some things that I LOVE and I am always passing on my favorites to people I know. I decided that once a week I would share some favorites with my readers along with some hints on application and pairings that have worked for me. Today we are starting with my Top 5 make-up picks.

 

 

The List

1. Boi-ing concealer by Benefit.

Hands down the best concealer I have ever used. For those of you saying to yourself - what is concealer? Unless you are under 25, you better find out. Apply a little of this under your eyes, with a brush, prior to putting on the rest of your make-up. You will look rested and younger than you did fresh out of the shower. Hint: generally you want a concealor about 2 shades lighter than your face make-up. If it isn’t lighter, your under eyes will look baggy.

 

2. MAC tinted lip glass

 

Do not confuse this gloss with MAC’s other glosses (luster glass, plush glass or dazzle glass). This is the their best gloss, it stays on, doesn’t feather and comes in a ridiculous array of colors. I think MAC hit gold when they created the three Viva Glam colors (VI SE, VI and V). Most women could pull off any of those colors on any given day. Hint: Use a similar color liner with your gloss and it will stay on better.

 

3. L’Oreal Telescopic Mascara in Carbon Black

 

First of all, L’Oreal’s web page is lame and I couldn’t grab a picture for you to see this product but you can go here and see it for yourself.

 I love the telescopic mascara because of the brush specifically - I think it gives great volume and length. Now I had always believed that Lancome made the best mascara. They are kind of known for that. However, here’s a little secret - L’Oreal owns Lancome. Not all of their products are comparable - for instance I wouldn’t use L’Oreal foundation but that is just me. When it comes to mascara, it really is a toss up between the $21 Lancome mascara and the $8 L’Oreal one - so why not go with the cheaper product that you can pick up at Target when you are also buying socks and microwave popcorn? Hint: black mascara is best, even if you are fair skinned. For best application place the brush close to the base of your eyelid and slowly drag/tug the wand up and out. This will force your lashes to gather a little at the outer part of your eye, giving you a sexy effect.

 

4. Foundation: pick your poison.

For those of you looking for more fuller coverage and smooth application I think Benefit once again produces the best product: Playsticks. It is easy to apply (again with a brush) and it lasts all day. I think liquid foundation can be a scary thing for oily skin (that’s me) so this dense make-up provides the perfect mix of coverage and shine free wear.

Now for those of you just looking to take a little “edge” off of your skin I have two products to recommendand- I use them both. Generally I pick one of these on the days that I am not working but still don’t want to scare people at the grocery store.

 

The first ( shown above) is Philosophy’s the Supernatural. This is a great mineral based foundation that you can put on quickly and go. This stuff is truly great for a busy mom who wants a little polish but doesn’t have a lot of time.

 

The second product is one you are all familiar with  - Bare Escentuals (or Bare Minerals). This stuff is everywhere, all over television, Sephora and the magazines. It is a great product and I used it for 2 straight years. However, after a while I felt like I needed more smoothing coverage so I switched but I can still say that the product itself is everything it promises to be.

 

5. MAC eyeshadow - various shades

 

I have searched high and low for a make-up line with eye colors as good as MAC. People here is the deal - RESISTENCE IS FUTILE. No matter how much the MAC counter bugs you because the boys are wearing make-up, you must brave the GLAM and go to the Holy Land of eye products. While everyone will vary as to what color works for them I believe that all girls should own the color Shroom by MAC. It is perfect pale shadow that will feel dressy to those who don’t normally wear shadow and it will be a great highlighter to the braver souls who like some spice in their lives. Hint: If you have brown eyes, pair Shroom with Mulch, Cork or Woodwinked for a soft smokey eye. For blue eyes, pair Shroom with a little Knight Devine for a dressy look. Green eyed girls can pair Shroom with Juxt or Greensmoke.

 

 

Well there you have it. Concealor, foundation, mascara, lip gloss and eye shadow. Next week I am going to list my favorite skin care products, research on this topic has cost me the annual budget of a third world country but c’est la vie!

 

If you have any questions - feel free to email me or comment, I will do a post with Q&A if I get enough responses. Until then, happy make-up application to you all!

Happy Birthday To Me!


2009
01.05

 

As I was driving to work on this momentous day (ha ha ha) I was thinking about what I want for my birthday. Or more accurately, what I want for this 32nd year of my life. Needless to say there are a lot of things that I want to see happen this year - get out of debt, loose ten pounds, run another race, etc. However, my mind kept going back to one thing: my brother.

 

A few months ago I wrote about how my mom and dad met and how he died very unexpectedly when I was two years old. What I didn’t mention was that I am not the only child he left behind. I have an older half brother and half sister. My sister has been a part of my life since I can remember - she has always been there for me and even though we only share one parent (dad), she is wholly my sister. My brother is a different story, I remember bits and pieces of him up until I was around 4 or 5 and then he just disappeared. I arranged to see him about 5 years ago and it was a brief dinner, uncomfortable and over quickly.

 

My brother was not in a good place when our father died. Wayne Jr. was his father’s namesake and was knowingly disappointing his dad prior to his death. Needless to say, the bad behavior only increased after our father passed. My brother was 19, an addict and directionless. He resented my mother for reasons I don’t fully comprehend and little Jenn was just another reminder that his father had moved on with life after his divorce to Wayne Jr’s mother.

 

Fast forward to last night. I received a call from my sister and she explained that our brother had run away to Belize and abandoned his wife. He was in a crazy drunken state, escaped from rehab and on a very destructive course. My sister called to tell me she was basically disowning him and couldn’t take his behavior any longer. Wayne Jr. is smart, wicked smart. He is a physician’s assistant, a medical school graduate but a residency drop out. However, in South America, he has enough schooling to be considered a full fledged doctor. So he escaped there to write his own prescriptions and pretend that he is the medical professional he wishes to be. He escaped there to be someone different than he is here.

 

My brother is one of only two links to my biological father. I have no other connections to this side of my family. I have longed for years to know more about my father’s family but sadly, no one related to my father (other than my siblings) is still alive. I have fantasized about sitting down with my brother and asking him to tell me stories about our father. I would give anything to have a meaningful conversation with the man who so resembles my father and had more many more years with him than I. Yet, that is truly a fantasy because Wayne Jr is a shell of man and his memories are probably very jaded by now.

 

This morning on my drive I realized Belize is the perfect place for Wayne, it is removed, it is different. It is the perfect place for him to hit bottom and find Jesus. I know that sounds cliche but let me explain. As many of my church going friends know, Saul met Jesus on the road to Damascus and was forever changed. Saul was busy persecuting and killing Christians, until he met Jesus. It was at that time that he became known as Paul and he eventually was the catalyst for the spread of Christianity. You can’t really meet Jesus and not be changed, Paul being the best example of this. I believe that God is still meeting people “on the road to Damascus” and he is still changing them entirely. He changed me and he can change my brother. No matter how hopeless Wayne Jr’s situation is, God is hopeful.

 

I decided that this year I will pray every day for my brother, for a missionary or believer in Belize to meet Wayne and offer him something no drug could ever promise: hope. I know there is someone in Belize that God will put in Wayne’s path - God never stops offering a chance, not until every opportunity has been exhausted. Maybe a missionary will stumble into the clinic where Wayne is working and he will see with new eyes.

 

Join me, will you, in praying for Wayne to find what his heart really needs. Pray for that person who will deliver the message of love and hope to him, that they will be blessed beyond measure. I want to celebrate on my 33rd birthday the gift of a brother reborn in this life.

Catching Up Edition


2009
01.04

Internet I have been busy! I know that you have too so we will make this quick…

 

First of all, Christmas was great. A while back I promised you a slide show of what I like to call the “Great Toddler Nativity Scene Re-enactment of 2008.” As I mentioned before, I had the pleasure of watching 30 toddlers act out the Nativity scene which was, by far, one of the highlights of the season.

 

Isaac took his role of king very seriously, focusing on the baby Jesus intently. So intently, that while the others faced the audience to sing their songs of adoration, my eldest son sang directly to the plastic baby in the wooden crib. He is very spiritual.

 

While the king was praising the plastic baby Jesus, Joshua the “angel” was busy wandering around the stage, rubbing his eyes and looking for Mommy.  

Below are a few pictures from the event, I hope you enjoy. Please ignore Isaac’s hair in the last picture - let’s just say the crown wreaked some havoc. Give a kid a break, okay?

 

 

 

 

 

On to Christmas. Well, we packed up our car with a ridiculous amount of presents and junk and headed to my mom’s house for 5 days. There really is nothing better than traveling with toddlers - toddlers who are aware their presents are behind them in the car(not the ones from Santa of course) and they can’t open them for 24 more hours. Oh the Joy! And did I mention that everyone (besides mom) developed a sinus infection on the 23rd? We ended up in the doctor’s office on Christmas Eve and were loaded up on antibiotics by noon that day.

 

Aside from the snot and the complaining (Kevin!) we managed to have a lovely Christmas Eve with my parents, Grandpa and almost all of my sisters. The kids got to play with their cousins a lot and it was great to see how Morgan, our token girl in the family, did with the big boys. Christmas Eve we got all of the little ones in the bathtub together, which was awesome, and by “awesome” I mean there were lots of pictures taken that will embarrass the crap out of the kids for years to come.

 

Overall, Christmas was great. I got a lovely pair of hand carved jade earrings, Kevin got a guitar, Isaac got a Leapfrog Leapster and Joshua also got a guitar (aka his “la la”). Since Christmas, we have only had to go to Target once to return the defective Leapster and there has been less than 10 meltdowns/tantrums over sharing new toys - we measure success in small steps. Below are some pictures of the Christmas festivities.

 

Tomorrow I turn 32 and well, yeah that sucks. My birthday kinda makes me sad so I have resolved to write a post tomorrow about what makes me happy: beauty products. Stay tuned for reviews and suggestions for favorite products.

 

I also mentioned in an earlier post that I started Weight Watchers and I will be offering a review of that on Tuesday, after I complete my first week. I will give you a hint though - I have already lost 1 pound!

 


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