Oh Seriously

My life usually involves a lot of drama. Not just the three kids, the job, the hubby, the family, the finances, the house, the friends, the period kind of drama. Yes, I said period.

My drama is big, huge. Or at least that is what I tell myself. There is always something going on with me, some crisis or another that needs to be solved. I spend untold hours of any given day figuring some emotional issue out in my head. Tonight after the kids were all snug as bugs, I sat down. Kevin is out of town, the lunches are made for tomorrow, the coffee on auto and I am already in my pajamas.

So there I sat. Nothing to do, at least nothing major. Nothing to say, there is no one else here. Nothing to freak out about, wait…what?

Oh there must be something, let me think…

Nothing. Silence. Nada. Zilch.

Now what? I don’t do well with silence, or a lack of crisis. I thrive on crisis, stress and busyness. But here I am, sitting and thinking about, well, nothing. This is noteworthy.

Ask anyone who knows me well and they would say that I usually call, text or email when I have drama. I never call just to say hi. I ALWAYS have a story. Something to lament about, something that has recently happened to me that YOU.JUST.WON’T.BELIEVE. I think my best friend might actually suffer a heart attack if I called her and just said, “hi!” and then waited to see what she had to say.

At 33 years old, I realize now that I am a drama junkie. I thrive on the stress and the adrenaline that drama brings. I swim like a fishy in the current of personal inner turmoil and hand wringing. To date, I thought it was just because more happened to me than the average person. As though I were some kind of magnet for it. Now I’m thinking maybe I just invite this craziness into my life because I don’t know how to just be content with what is in front of me. To just call it a Thursday night – not “OHMYGOSHDIDYOUHEARITWASTHURSDAY????”

Maybe I am alone in this drama drunken adventure. Or perhaps, you tend toward the drama as well. But I am officially declaring a war on drama. I just won’t have it.

I need more PEACE.

I need more mental REST.

I need to stop swilling crisis like a vodka tonic and just RELAX.

Maybe then, the gray hairs will stop marching across my head at a breakneck pace and I might actually live to see my 60′s.

Who’s with me? Not everybody at once now…

Related posts:

1. Keeping it real in 09′
2. Mirror, Mirror on the Wall
3. Shut up Woman!