If there is something I’ve learned to be true about myself in my 31 years it is that I am most “at home” acting like a jackass. Whether it is saying something totally inappropriate to a co-worker or being the one to silence a dinner table with what I think is a witty comment, I am being “Jenn”.

Ever since I was little I remember being the one to say something that makes other’s cringe. It doesn’t help that when I am saying these ridiculous things, they are often at a decibel above obnoxious. When I was in school, teachers would say things like “Jennifer everyone is talking and I can only hear you.” As I’ve gotten older I have learned to control my comments and the volume of my voice a bit but there are still times when I forget where I am and to whom I am speaking.

Recently, I had a run in with my jackass side that just might go down in the history books. I can’t tell ALL of the details here because I have to respect the privacy of those involved, but parts of the story simply must be told. Are you ready? Almost two months ago I was contacted by someone regarding this website. This someone bore a striking similarity in name and detail to a major television star. And when I say MAJOR I mean, YOU WOULD TOTALLY KNOW HIM.

So, I was very flattered by the email and I kept thinking this just can’t be real. How did this person find my site and why would he be entertained by it when there are so many big name websites out there that get major traffic every day…the kind of traffic that leads to book deals. Anyhow, we began exchanging emails and I told a few people in my family that this was happening. Nobody quite believed that this person would contact me. They reasoned that, given the anonymity of an email, it was more likely a deranged stalker than a television star.

So, now I’ve gone from excited that some celeb thinks I am interesting, to worried that I must conceal my online identity and maybe even get a gun. Thus is my life - seems like something cool is happening and then - nope just the stomach flu. So, I got a little snotty in my emails to said “celeb” and was feeling really jaded about the website, as though maybe it was a bad idea. I was starting to think about not writing anymore and giving up the dream of a “someday” book deal. Apparently my stress was coming across in my writing. After one final email from the celeb, I got kind of fed up and sent a terse response about it being inappropriate that he was contacting me. The husband saw the email and decided on his own to also send a response, once again letting “celebrity” know that he needed to back off. (gotta love the Hubby being protective, Hi Honey!) Now, mind you, he never propositioned me or said anything overtly inappropriate, he was mostly just being nice. God forbid.

Cut to yesterday. I check my email for the first time in like 10 days. In my inbox is an email from the celeb. He is apologizing for his previous email and pretty much making both Kevin and I feel that he is legitimate and we are total jackasses. Once again, my judgment is flawed.

What is the moral to my story? Well, not sure there is one other than, should a possible celebrity contact you via your website and say nice things to you…maybe don’t assume he is a stalker and proceed to send nasty emails? You never know when you might need some connections in Hollywood…like say, for a book deal?

Sometimes the news is like a gift that keeps on giving….

Sunnyvale, CA - Crews were busy cleaning up VODKA off of the road today after a truck, carrying a load of American’s favorite pastime alcohol overturned.

So, you’re driving down the road and come to a sudden stop behind an overturned truck. It’s been a bad day and you think it just got worse, but really, your party is just getting started…empty out that coffee travel mug from this morning girlfriend because you know what? It’s 5 o’clock somewhere!

Also in today’s headlines (and keeping with our alcohol theme), is a story about Lindsay Lohan being back on the sauce because of her BFF/lover Sam Ronson’s bad influence.  Oh friends, like we couldn’t see that one coming. Sam Ronson’s not stupid, she knows that Lindsay needs to stay drunk in order to think Sam Ronson’s got something going on other than an obsession with wife-beaters and ugly fedora’s. Drink till’ she’s pretty!

Finally, apparently y’all like my political summaries, because I got quite a few emails about yesterday’s post. Tonight Obama speaks the Democratic Convention. I know that few of you are inclined to listen so I will do it for you and give you a re-cap tomorrow (justanotherjenn style of course).

Remember, if you are close to Sunnyvale, grab a cup and go!

Well, two of the coolest people in the world had their second child today. That’s right, Gwen and Gavin welcomed baby #2 at the ever famous Cedars Sinai hospital in Los Angeles. However, it appears the two musicians struck a bad chord with their name choice for this bouncing blue bundle. Are you ready for it?

Zuma Nesta Rock Rossdale

Look, I don’t want to judge because everyone is entitled to what he or she thinks is beautiful.  Okay let’s be real, that name is TERRIBLE. It sounds like the Rossdale’s couldn’t decide on one wacky name so they chose three and strung them together like some Walmart Christmas lights.

Gwen, how could you let this happen? You are the epitome of cool, you made a whole generation of people think that spelling the word BANANA was actually a good idea for a song. You gave us Harajuku Girls, and now you give us Zuma? I mean at best it is remniscient of the good old alcohol drink Zima , which I used to drink in high school while riding around in a pick-up truck looking for a party. At worst, frankly the name sounds like Puma, which now that I write it out, might be preferable.

However, when you add Nesta to Zuma it sounds, for some reason like you are saying Lunesta, which I think is a sleeping pill. So to counteract it, you threw in Rock for good measure. All you’ve done is just assure this poor kid will get his arse kicked in junior high.

Gwenny, this name is just a hot mess. Call me, we’ll talk.