It has become a joke at our house that I don’t got to bed at night. I lay down for a series of short “naps.” I am not sure what is in the water but my kids are not big fans of sleeping all night. There is one awakening after another involving, breast milk (infant), potty( 3 year old) and bad dreams (6 year old). I am basically tag teamed by three boys every night, which isn’t as awesome as it sounds…..

Kevin, God love him, tries his best to help out and on some occasions is victorious. Mostly however, the little creatures want “Mommy” and are willing to scream until I stutter “okay, okay, I’m up, I’m up.” I wander up the stairs and to the bedroom of the needy child and attempt to quiet him before he wakes up any combination of his brothers. Elijah is really the one that gets me, he wakes up at least 4 times on most nights. It is not always to eat, sometimes it is to blow raspberries into the monitor so loud that I eventually wake up and plug his little motor boating mouth with a binky.

What I don’t understand is the waking up to eat. I mean for goodness sake he is 8 months old.  He eats solid foods and drinks bottles all day long. Both Joshua and Isaac were sleeping 10-12 hours a night at this point. Little Eli never makes it more than 3 without needing something. He is still exclusively breast fed and part of me wonders if this is the “problem.” The other two boys had some combination of breast milk and formula by this point and it makes me think that is why they were better sleepers. Eli’s tummy is far too sensitive for formula thus far so I don’t really have a choice – it is either wake up to nurse him or wake up and comfort him while he screams like a wild turkey because the formula is peeling the lining off of his intestinal tract. The funny thing is – when he was 3 months old, I actually used to be concerned that he slept too much. Silly, silly mama. He would sleep 10 hours at a time and I brought my stupid, stupid concern to the pediatrician. I was afraid something was wrong with him. Oh, the irony. Less than a month later, the game of “wake up every few minutes and see if we can make mommy a crazy person” began with a vengeance.

I don’t know what advice you experienced Mama’s have for me. I am so very tired and I have tried just putting Eli in bed with us – he still wakes up. Granted I don’t have to huff up stairs to go get  him when he does but I also don’t sleep as well with him right next to me. I am committed to nursing him until he is 1, but there has to be a better way. We both need more rest. I am not all that into the cry-it-out phenom, not sure that it is really best but maybe I need to consider it. All I know is that something has got to change because there isn’t enough coffee on the planet to keep me awake during the day and my night naps just aren’t cutting it.

When I am out with Eli and he isn’t wearing something that is outright boyish or blue, I often get comments about how pretty “she is.” At first, I was indignant, can’t they see that this is clearly a handsome young man? I guess not.

I can’t tell you how many times people have said, “how old is she?” or “what is her name?” Lamenting about this with my friends, they often say, well in the defense of these kind strangers, he is a “really pretty baby.” I could continue to fight this issue or I could just give in and say, yes he is very pretty boy.

So Internet, I present to you, my pretty little boy. Eli, I am so sorry, this was not was totally my idea. You drew the short stick with me as a Mama my son….

Everyone always asks, “are you going to try for a girl?” Well, I think the answer is officially “no need to, I’ve already got a pretty little Eli.”

We took the family to the Santa Cruz Boardwalk on Sunday. Not sure what we were thinking, other than it was sunny and the Boardwalk is only 45 minutes away from our house. It was PACKED. We ended up having a great time though, so no complaints here. I can’t tell you how much I love my Phil and Ted’s Stroller – which, along with my parents help made the day possible.  Maybe I will do a post on strollers soon….

By far, the best part of our little adventure was when Kevin and I and the two older boys rode the Log Jammer. I am SHOCKED that both Isaac and Josh didn’t back out of this at the last minute because that is a serious drop at the end. My mom stood at the bottom and snapped the best series of pictures:

So, what you can’t really see is that Isaac is in front of Kevin and Joshie is in front of me. I almost squeezed the life out of Josh on the way down that hill. The paranoid schizo in me couldn’t help imagining him flying out of the ride. At the end I couldn’t tell if he had fun or was just relieved to be out of my death grip. When we got off, both Josh and Isaac said “that was AWESOME!” Seeing a “roller coaster” through a child’s eyes again was so fun. It felt like we made a really great memory in that moment. It also felt like maybe I needed a blow dryer and a new pair of pants to wear.

Growing up in Carmel and having been a big fan of the movie the Lost Boys, I spent a good chunk of my life believing that Santa Cruz was filled with real life vampires. I never really wanted to go there for fear of being whisked off to that cave they lived in a forced to eat maggots. Great movie. Anyhow……If you have ever been to the Boardwalk and experienced the humanity there, then you can’t really blame me. I have to say though, as an adult, I enjoy the unique hippie weirdo culture (that’s the technical term) that is Santa Cruz. It is a fun place to visit. Here are some more shots from the day….

There really aren’t words to describe how funny my mom climbing into that kiddie ride was. The attendant eventually asked her to get out because it wasn’t safe….

Me and Joshie having a grand time waiting in line for the Sea Dragon ride. I actually went on it with him and almost got vertigo. I am getting old.

Ah, the toothless wonder. He looks so adorable with this missing tooth and it is fun to watch him try and say words that start with “F”.

Me and mom, matching smiles and sunglasses. Not sure why I look so tall here. She must be shrinking….

Josh on one of the rides, he looks so old here it kills me. What happened to my baby Joshie?

Dad and Elijah. I feel like I will owe him an apology for that hat in a few years.

With three little people in our lives, this is as close as we get to a family picture.

At the end of the trip, 2 of the 3 gave in to sleep. The oldest sat in the back torturing my mom by wiggling his other loose tooth. Ah, good times.

Later this week, Eli will be 8 months old. I am in shock. Mostly because I still remember when I looked like this and it feels like that was yesterday. I can distinctly remember the leg cramps, the lack of bladder control and the heartburn. Eli was not physically easy to be pregnant with – or maybe it was just that my body was finished housing babies long before my heart was. Either way, he has been so delightful outside of my belly that the ugly pregnancy memories are graying. I actually saw a newborn at church on Sunday and sighed, wishing I could ask to hold her. I nearly fell over the seat in front of me trying to peek at her as she yawned and stretched her tiny little arms. What is wrong with me? I have more children than I can manage, most days feel like a ship being sunk by the crew and here I am fawning over some one’s baby that I don’t even know? The female mind really is the confusing maze my husband thinks it to be.

Back to Eli….I love this stage of babyhood. Somewhere around 6 months until about 1 year, I could just eat babies up. They are so curious and sweet and they babble and drool and have thighs that look like ham hocks. They haven’t figured out how to say “no” or run away from you. They wake up cooing and saying “da da da” and my heart just melts. Each of my boys went through this stage and each time I found myself falling further in love. (until they were about 2 years old and then I might have sold them to the highest bidder.)

Every day Eli laughs deep and loud,  rolls over with gusto in order to get to an object of his desire, tries to eat his special blankie and watches his older brothers with enchantment. Basically, he is all baby. My baby. I love him more than I can tell you here. More than I thought possible when I wrote this post.

I look at Isaac and I see how quickly time goes by, I want to cherish every bit of my time with Eli as a baby because I know that before I can blink, he’ll be asking for the car keys.

P.S. We went to the Boardwalk in Santa Cruz yesterday and got some great pics that I will post tomorrow…..

Okay so I am not really single but seriously Kevin is gone, yet again, for a business trip. This makes 5 trips in 4 months. We joke around that I am a single working mother of three and that there should be some sort of government program for which I qualify. I am pretty sure Obama-Care had something in it that would help me out – right? No?

Anyway, so here I am again all dressed up in a suit running around gathering bottles for the baby, slinging my pump over my shoulder and giving the Nanny last minute instructions. As I fall into the car and begin my commute, I wonder….does everyone do this much before 8am? Did I remember to put on my bra?

I have enough “stay at home” mom friends to know that being home with the kids is no vacation either and that is has its’ own set of complications and stress. Namely, the inability to have an adult conversation for 8 straight hours and the carpel tunnel syndrome that develops from constant requests to open this or that snack package/toy etc. As a side note – can we please join together and speak wtih the toy manufacturer’s about the ridiculous amount of plastic and screws and tape and twisty wire-thingies involved in packaging? Seriously.

So my assumption is simply that being a mom to multiple children is just hard work, whether you are with them all day or not. At the end of any given day, especially without  a husband around to share the burden (I mean joy) of dinner time/playtime/bathtime/storytime, I am just spent. Useless. Emotionally and physically drained.

As such, I have been feeling like my children don’t get my best when I come home from work. With Kevin being gone and work being so draining, my kids sometimes get the scraps. I have been asking God to show me how to be the best mom I can be with the little time I have. I don’t want to have my children look back on these years and just see me as the blur in heels (albeit very cute heels) that barked “get dressed! we have to leave NOW!” But how do I accomplish this when I really do need them to get dressed because we really do have to leave NOW???

I feel like I am being called to spend more time playing with my kids. Due to the fact that I have boys, it is easier for me to cop out and say – “Mommy doesn’t know how to transform that Transformer, go ask Daddy to help.” Yet, I know that I need to find ways to connect with them that is fun, even when my day is long. So ladies, I have a question….do you (whether you work outside the home or not) take time to play with your kids? Do you engage in their world for a time each day? If so, what do you do? Especially for my boy mama friends – help me out. I can play Barbie till the cows come home but when it comes to Batman, my creative juices just aren’t flowing.

Alright, I am off to start my day. Seven cups of coffee later and a little help from Beyonce (put your hands up! oh-oh-oh) I finally have the energy…..

I haven’t posted pictures in AGES. So, I figured it was time to add a little color to the blog.

Before I do however, I thought I would share with you that I have decided that I am no longer going to call it “going to bed.” Realistically, what I do at night is take a series of interrupted naps. Last night I got 6 -one hour long naps, all punctuated by either a crying baby, a request for water or a request for comfort due to a bad dream. Maybe if I just plan on taking “naps” I will be less upset when I am woken up 7 times each night. Or maybe, I’m just going to go sleep in the garage…