Ten years later, I lay in bed sleepily scratching a boys’ back. He isn’t you, but he has your eyes. He’s one third your size and he calls me Mama. He’s just one of almost three. I’ve never loved you more.

Ten years ago today, we said “I do.” We were children. Children with high hopes and love glowing in our hearts like a fire. A decade later, the love is immensley more precious, deep. You convinced me to marry you, asking not once but three times before the ring “stuck” as we like to say. People thought we were foolish. I think we knew what we had all the way back then, even if words couldn’t define it. They still can’t.

You know you make me laugh. Always have. That is the way you tunneled into my serious and awkwardly beating heart. I didn’t know what unconditional love was, we both know this is something with which I still struggle. But you know, you had it presented to you like a shiny object to a two year old and you held on tight. Thank you for sharing that with me. Sometimes I fumble with it but know that I am always trying. Love flows easy from your soul Kevin, God made you gentle and caring. Sometimes this makes me crazy. Sometimes I want you to be as jaded as I am, yet you refuse. Don’t ever stop refusing, your joy is a lifejacket for my serious and contemplative soul.

We fight. Oh boy how we fight. Often about things inconsequential, sometimes about things larger than life. Yet, there is a line we silently do not cross, we are married and we will be until forever. I knew this from our second kiss. Sounds strange, but it wasn’t the first one that got me. Apparently I am not easily convinced of anything. As I drove away, hands trembling and heart flying, I knew that something significant had just changed, part of me was still in your arms. Ten years later, I’m still there.

You are never on time. You try to please everyone around you, often infuriating me. That is the reality of you. But I will take it because it comes with so much more. Your heart is wide open, your grace for those around you abundant, your desire to be my only, evident. All those years ago, I couldn’t have imagined the man you would become. Standing on that stage, staring into your blue eyes, the future was a question mark. A blank page yet to be written with our story. Now, I see how God has blessed me beyond measure with not just my Kevie, but a son of God whose possibility for growth and change is infinite in His hands. You are a work of art that I hope to always have within my reach, as each year I see a new aspect of your beautiful mystery.

You are so good with showing me that you love me. You tell me, you touch me, you pay attention to me. I am busy. Ridiculously busy and often inattentive. I know I put  a snotty nose that needs to be wiped or a story that needs to be read before you. It is the “mom” in me. However, I hope that you see my love and respect for who you are and how lucky I am, is best expressed in words written. Sometimes I need the keyboard and some quiet time to tell you how I really feel. How much, I really love you.

Happy Anniversary my love. Here’s to two kids who fell in love and never looked back. May our story be long and our house continue to be filled with laughter. You are my sunshine Kevin Thomas.

Dear Marketing Geniuses,

Is this what you wanted of America? You wanted us to all be sitting in our front rooms, millions of us around the country, looking like this? Isn’t it enough that we are all broke?

By the way, if you look close at the picture you can see that I didn’t read the directions.

Internet I have been busy! I know that you have too so we will make this quick…

First of all, Christmas was great. A while back I promised you a slide show of what I like to call the “Great Toddler Nativity Scene Re-enactment of 2008.” As I mentioned before, I had the pleasure of watching 30 toddlers act out the Nativity scene which was, by far, one of the highlights of the season.

Isaac took his role of king very seriously, focusing on the baby Jesus intently. So intently, that while the others faced the audience to sing their songs of adoration, my eldest son sang directly to the plastic baby in the wooden crib. He is very spiritual.

While the king was praising the plastic baby Jesus, Joshua the “angel” was busy wandering around the stage, rubbing his eyes and looking for Mommy.  

Below are a few pictures from the event, I hope you enjoy. Please ignore Isaac’s hair in the last picture – let’s just say the crown wreaked some havoc. Give a kid a break, okay?

On to Christmas. Well, we packed up our car with a ridiculous amount of presents and junk and headed to my mom’s house for 5 days. There really is nothing better than traveling with toddlers – toddlers who are aware their presents are behind them in the car(not the ones from Santa of course) and they can’t open them for 24 more hours. Oh the Joy! And did I mention that everyone (besides mom) developed a sinus infection on the 23rd? We ended up in the doctor’s office on Christmas Eve and were loaded up on antibiotics by noon that day.

Aside from the snot and the complaining (Kevin!) we managed to have a lovely Christmas Eve with my parents, Grandpa and almost all of my sisters. The kids got to play with their cousins a lot and it was great to see how Morgan, our token girl in the family, did with the big boys. Christmas Eve we got all of the little ones in the bathtub together, which was awesome, and by “awesome” I mean there were lots of pictures taken that will embarrass the crap out of the kids for years to come.

Overall, Christmas was great. I got a lovely pair of hand carved jade earrings, Kevin got a guitar, Isaac got a Leapfrog Leapster and Joshua also got a guitar (aka his “la la”). Since Christmas, we have only had to go to Target once to return the defective Leapster and there has been less than 10 meltdowns/tantrums over sharing new toys – we measure success in small steps. Below are some pictures of the Christmas festivities.

Tomorrow I turn 32 and well, yeah that sucks. My birthday kinda makes me sad so I have resolved to write a post tomorrow about what makes me happy: beauty products. Stay tuned for reviews and suggestions for favorite products.

I also mentioned in an earlier post that I started Weight Watchers and I will be offering a review of that on Tuesday, after I complete my first week. I will give you a hint though – I have already lost 1 pound!

This favorite holiday dish can be found lingering in the kitchens of thousands, if not millions of homes, around the world this time of year. I thought I would I share my personal recipe with you!

• Take 1 major commercial holiday, add economic recession and stir
• In a separate bowl, mix 2 parts family drama and 1 part personal career meltdown
• Add a pinch of weight gain and self-loathing to taste
• Finally, stir in a decision to move in the month of January to a new house because the one you are in doesn’t have central heat and you forgot what having toes feels like.
• Combine all ingredients in a large casserole dish and wait for the manic explosion

This holiday recipe will not disappoint!

Yes you heard me right, we are moving to a new house in January. The new house part is great. The packing and moving at this time of year, with two small children might actually kill me. I suppose the good news about my impending death is apparently God’s house has many rooms, I am sure all of which have central heating.

Mazel tov!

Well, as my last post indicated, we got our tree last night. It wasn’t without a bit of stress and the usual family calamity that I’ve grown so accustomed to. You see, when we moved last June, a good portion of our stuff went in to storage. Well the Christmas stuff, the stuff I spent years collecting and hundreds of dollars amassing, is at the very back of the storage unit. Basically it is unreachable.

So, I had to head to Target to pick up a few decorations and some lights so that we may have some semblance of Christmas this year. By the time I got to Target and saw all of the people, I was much more “Bah Humbug” than I was “Jingle Bells!” In fact, I really just wanted to cancel Christmas this year.

Luckily, by the time we got to the tree lot, my mood had changed and we managed to have some fun. Isaac was so excited to pick a tree and Joshua was just excited to be on an adventure so their collective merriment made up for my utter lack of holiday cheer. We managed to snap a few cute pictures of the event for your viewing.

In the end, the tree was decorated, the lights were hung and Mariah Carey’s Christmas album was ringing throughout the halls. Happy Holidays!

I did it! No seriously, I hard rocked Thanksgiving dinner. We had turkey, mashed potatoes, stuffing, cranberries, green bean casserole, rolls and gravy. Thanks to the help of my sister-in-law Karen and my neighbor’s kitchen, I was able to accomplish a real Thanksgiving meal. We had a lovely dinner and a great time hanging out with family and friends.

My mom was on speed dial all day (thankfully), I swear she received less than 5 panicked phone calls. The ones she did receive revolved around the fact that my 24lb turkey cooked in 3 hours. Apparently my little tiny oven has some, balls guts. And yes, I am aware now that 24lbs of turkey was completely unnecessary for 7 people. You live and you learn people.

I decided that photos would tell the story of this Thanksgiving better than words so here goes…

After the beach we headed back to the house to watch the Cardinal’s game – that was ugly. Then we ate desert, courtesy of our local Costco. Overall, fabulous day.