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My Three Sons


2010
02.10

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Posted in children, family, isaac, jenn, joshua, the boys | 2 Comments »

I am sure over time there will be a million posts about my three boys. However, as I begin this journey of being a mother of three I can’t help  but share some of the things I’ve experienced so far.

 

First of all, when pregnant with a boy for the 3rd time, you are more likely to get condolences than congratulations. Men who would comment on my pregnancy, and then discover I was pregnant with another boy would inevitably say things like:

I’m one of three boys, my poor mother.

I’m one of four boys, my mom was a trooper.

I’m one of two boys, my mom is glad we are out of the house.

I’m one of several boys, my mom is trained in martial arts.

 

Okay so not really the last one but I imagine that karate would be a useful skill for me to acquire in the next few years. It would help with deflecting flying Buzz Lightyear toys and legos. If any of you are wondering what it is like to be a mother to so many boys, I can only say that I don’t really know yet. Eli is still at that androgynous baby stage (as evidenced by the MANY, “she is so cute” comments at Target and the mall). He isn’t really all boy yet, just a sweet, smiling little bug that eats poops and sleeps….hmmm, maybe he is all boy.

 

“Boydom” is in full swing with Joshua and Isaac though. They have taken to wrestling and fighting a good portion of the time they are together. Isaac is my pacifist, not really down with all of the physicality that Joshua exudes. Like a good dog would do, he takes several punches from the smaller pup before he growls. Joshie is ALL BOY. Often times after people have been around him for a period of time I get comments like:

Wow, he sure is full of energy!

That kid never stops!

Josh is a firecracker!

 

These things are all spanish for - holy sh%t, how do you do it?  The answer is, I have learned the fine art of “tuning him out.” Joshie talks nonstop and is always getting into something he shouldn’t. Often during the day I will hear the vaccum go on or the pump for the air mattress. He is obsessed with things that make noise. I know that if he is “vaccuming” he at least isn’t pestering Isaac. Unfortunately though, while Isaac may not be the first to throw a punch, he is incredibly loud. You take his booming voice plus Joshie’s daily vaccuming session and….The  level of noise in our house is maybe only rivaled by the cast of Jersey Shore but I am pretty sure there is just as much testosterone and fist bumping going on here.

 

As I settle in with my three sons I can offer the following observation - I am sure that my life over the next few years will in some ways resemble Lord of the Flies. You know, a bunch of boys on an island (our house) trying to kill their leader (me and Kevin). So glad I was forced to read that book and understand the boy mentality. Anyone know where I can get a conch shell?

 

isaac

mom-and-joshie

eli2

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Making Room


2009
09.15

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Posted in children, family, pregnancy, the boys | 2 Comments »

 When our first son was born, I was worried how the two rowdy beagles we had at the time would adjust. I actually spent real emotional energy thinking about this in the months before I delivered. I did research on introducing the baby to the dogs and I spent more minutes than I would like to admit thinking about how I could possibly have room in my heart for both the baby and the dogs. The dogs went on vacation with us, they slept with us, we had framed pictures of them around the house and on our computer screensavers. When other people told stories about what cute things their kids did, I threw in anecdotes about my beagles. Yes, I was that person. Needless to say, about 10 seconds in to holding Isaac for the first time, those dogs moved to a different corner of my heart. I still loved them but it wasn’t the same.

The night before our second son was born, I went in to his sweetly prepared nursery and cried my eyes out. I couldn’t imagine how I could love a baby as much as or more than I loved our firstborn. I couldn’t fathom how my heart would have room for this next child. I spent an incredible amount of my pregnancy with Joshua researching the addition of a sibling to the family dynamic. I read stories to Isaac in preparation for Joshua’s homecoming. I thought I was prepared, until the night before when it hit me that everything was about to change. I just broke down. Memories of my introduction to motherhood and how it felt to hold my first baby were flooding into my brain. How could a second child compare? How could I feel as attached to this baby as I did to the precious child sleeping in the next room over that taught me how to be a mother?

The very next evening, as Joshua came into this world and my heart did not split in half but instead grew exponentially, I understood.  When Isaac came to the hospital to meet his brother, he immediately began referring to him as “my Joshie.” Nothing could have been sweeter.

Here I am, 8 weeks or so from adding a third son to our family. You would think by now I would understand that worrying about how it is all going to work out is for not. Yet, that is just what I am doing. Once again, I cannot wrap my brain around having enough love for another child. I can’t picture him yet or feel his chubby hand in mine. I can’t see a clear picture of what it will be like to have three sons and love them all so intensely.  However, I know that it is going to happen. Sometime in the very near future, my heart will once again grow exponentially and make room for Elijah Harris. I am sure I will sit in that hospital room, staring into his eyes and wondering how our family would ever have been complete without him.

 

PS - read something today about having children that just blew me away, once again Amber nailed it. Go see for yourself.

 

 

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Nemo


2009
09.02

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Posted in family, isaac, joshua, the boys | 1 Comment »

Well the first day of school was exactly 3 weeks ago but I am finally getting around to posting about it. Isaac loves kindergarten so far, his BFF from pre-school is at the same school so he is a happy camper. Logan, is her name by the way, she is a spunky and adorable little 5 year old girl that can climb a tree as good as any boy I know. Isaac informed me recently that he was going to marry her. Upon inquiring why he felt she was “the one” he said: “Because she is funny, she can run really fast and she has cute headbands.” Perfect reasoning - don’t you think?

 

Anyway, here is the little man out front of his school on the first day:

isaac-kindergarten

 

 

 
Here he is posing at home before we left…couldn’t resist his like model-like pose:

isaac-first-day

 

 

Finally, as usual, Joshie needed in on the action:

joshie-isaac-first-day

Overall, the transition to “real school” has been great and once again, my fears and worries about transitions and schedules and such, were for not. I don’t know why I work myself into a frenzy over change because it usually ends up being less of a momentous thing than I imagined. Isaac loves being at school, Joshie loves having the run of the pre-school without a big brother to cramp his style. Life is good. Now let’s add another….

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Sounds of my day


2009
08.27

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Posted in children, family, isaac, joshua, the boys | 3 Comments »

On any given day, my life is filled with the following “noises”

  • Joshua, upon waking, singing “little rabbit in the woods” and taking much time to emphasize the part about the hunter shooting him dead, ending with a lovely staccato note on “abide”
  •  Isaac telling me that something isn’t safe
  • Isaac telling Joshua that something isn’t safe
  • Joshua telling Isaac that he is “weally, weally angwy wiff him”
  • Joshua asking if he can “cozy me”
  • Isaac telling me a joke, like this morning’s - “Hey Mom, what do you call two spiders who just got married?” …”Newly Webs! Ha ha ha, isn’t that so funny because it sounds like…..Hey Mom, what’s it sound like?”
  • The phone ringing with yet another collection agent for Maria-something or other- who used to have this phone number before me. Poor Maria must be in a heap of debt.
  • The theme song to Wow Wow Wubbzy…Wubbzy Wubbzy Wow Wow! Dear Jesus.
  • The sounds of two little boys laughing hysterically at something in their bunk beds while they are supposed to be sleeping. Whatever it is, it is so funny that Joshua is wheezing. Maybe the spider joke again?
  • The sound of silence as my little men have finally given in to sleep and are now sprawled like chubby starfish, arms above their heads, dreaming of their days.

The sounds of motherhood are unique in each house, yet all the same somehow.

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My boys


2009
08.06

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Posted in family, isaac, joshua, kevin, pregnancy, the boys | 1 Comment »

Only 14 or so weeks left until there are three of them…watch out world!

my-boys

These two have become so close lately. As Joshie gets older it is easier for Isaac to play with him. There are moments where they come to blows as boys are known to do. But the glorious moments of them chasing each other around the house laughing and screaming in pure joy make up for the physical scuffles. When they laugh together, my heart is so filled with joy it could burst into a million little mommy pieces.

joshie-baby

Every once in a while I get a picture of Joshua that accurately captures the gleam in his eye. Whatever this little boy is destined for in life, he’s going to do with gusto.

 

me

The last picture was taken a  month ago as Kevin and I were getting ready to leave for our anniversary dinner. It was a glorious evening, thanks to the babysitting prowess of one Auntie Kenna. Kevin surprised me a with a new coach purse and a beautiful dinner at Pacific’s Edge in Carmel Highlands. The meal was ridiculously expensive but completely worth it for our 10 year anniversary.

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Golden


2009
07.10

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Posted in events, family, jenn, kevin | 7 Comments »

Ten years later, I lay in bed sleepily scratching a boys’ back. He isn’t you, but he has your eyes. He’s one third your size and he calls me Mama. He’s just one of almost three. I’ve never loved you more.

 

Ten years ago today, we said “I do.” We were children. Children with high hopes and love glowing in our hearts like a fire. A decade later, the love is immensley more precious, deep. You convinced me to marry you, asking not once but three times before the ring “stuck” as we like to say. People thought we were foolish. I think we knew what we had all the way back then, even if words couldn’t define it. They still can’t.

 

kev-and-jenn

 

You know you make me laugh. Always have. That is the way you tunneled into my serious and awkwardly beating heart. I didn’t know what unconditional love was, we both know this is something with which I still struggle. But you know, you had it presented to you like a shiny object to a two year old and you held on tight. Thank you for sharing that with me. Sometimes I fumble with it but know that I am always trying. Love flows easy from your soul Kevin, God made you gentle and caring. Sometimes this makes me crazy. Sometimes I want you to be as jaded as I am, yet you refuse. Don’t ever stop refusing, your joy is a lifejacket for my serious and contemplative soul.

 

We fight. Oh boy how we fight. Often about things inconsequential, sometimes about things larger than life. Yet, there is a line we silently do not cross, we are married and we will be until forever. I knew this from our second kiss. Sounds strange, but it wasn’t the first one that got me. Apparently I am not easily convinced of anything. As I drove away, hands trembling and heart flying, I knew that something significant had just changed, part of me was still in your arms. Ten years later, I’m still there.

 

kev-and-jenn2

 

You are never on time. You try to please everyone around you, often infuriating me. That is the reality of you. But I will take it because it comes with so much more. Your heart is wide open, your grace for those around you abundant, your desire to be my only, evident. All those years ago, I couldn’t have imagined the man you would become. Standing on that stage, staring into your blue eyes, the future was a question mark. A blank page yet to be written with our story. Now, I see how God has blessed me beyond measure with not just my Kevie, but a son of God whose possibility for growth and change is infinite in His hands. You are a work of art that I hope to always have within my reach, as each year I see a new aspect of your beautiful mystery.

 

You are so good with showing me that you love me. You tell me, you touch me, you pay attention to me. I am busy. Ridiculously busy and often inattentive. I know I put  a snotty nose that needs to be wiped or a story that needs to be read before you. It is the “mom” in me. However, I hope that you see my love and respect for who you are and how lucky I am, is best expressed in words written. Sometimes I need the keyboard and some quiet time to tell you how I really feel. How much, I really love you.

 

Happy Anniversary my love. Here’s to two kids who fell in love and never looked back. May our story be long and our house continue to be filled with laughter. You are my sunshine Kevin Thomas.

4 comments

More names…


2009
05.26

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Posted in family, jenn, travel | 4 Comments »

Because his last suggestions weren’t enough, Kevin wanted to add the following to the list:

  • Morinda
  • Suri (seriously)
  • Tara
  • Molly
  • Dorinda
  • Belinda
  • DO YOU SEE A PATTERN HERE?

 

I think that I am once again going to have to pick the name of our child because this is getting ridiculous. Last night when he suggested the name Tracy, on the heels of just having suggested Tara, I asked him why he kept throwing out 80’s names. He told me I was being judgemental.

 

Anyway, we are back from vacation and it was amazing. I promise pictures later this week, my brain is still trying to put itself back in work mode right now. I can’t seem to leave the mountain air of Lake Tahoe behind. It might be one of the few places prettier than the landscape we call home in Carmel. The kids stayed with my Mom and they did amazing. They were actually sad to leave “Ammy’s” house, which has to be the sign of having a good time. Either that or they are going to miss the steady stream of rice krispy treats and popcorn. I made them both eat carrots with dinner last night, the looks on their sweet toddler faces were precious. Sort of like “Woman, what vile thing have you placed in our presence and can you possibly douse it in sugar?”

 

I will post a 15 week self portrait this week as well, even though I am now closer to 16 weeks. I swear my belly is huge! I look like I am 6 months pregnant, however I hear that is pretty normal with the third child. Let’s also hope that a post baby tummy tuck and boob job are considered normal as well…

7 comments

14 week self portrait


2009
05.18

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Posted in family, isaac, joshua, pregnancy, the boys | 7 Comments »

As you can see, the kids wanted to be a part of this week’s photo session. What am I going to do when there are three of them?

5 comments

Happy Birthday To Me!


2009
01.05

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Posted in childhood, family, spirituality | 5 Comments »

 

As I was driving to work on this momentous day (ha ha ha) I was thinking about what I want for my birthday. Or more accurately, what I want for this 32nd year of my life. Needless to say there are a lot of things that I want to see happen this year - get out of debt, loose ten pounds, run another race, etc. However, my mind kept going back to one thing: my brother.

 

A few months ago I wrote about how my mom and dad met and how he died very unexpectedly when I was two years old. What I didn’t mention was that I am not the only child he left behind. I have an older half brother and half sister. My sister has been a part of my life since I can remember - she has always been there for me and even though we only share one parent (dad), she is wholly my sister. My brother is a different story, I remember bits and pieces of him up until I was around 4 or 5 and then he just disappeared. I arranged to see him about 5 years ago and it was a brief dinner, uncomfortable and over quickly.

 

My brother was not in a good place when our father died. Wayne Jr. was his father’s namesake and was knowingly disappointing his dad prior to his death. Needless to say, the bad behavior only increased after our father passed. My brother was 19, an addict and directionless. He resented my mother for reasons I don’t fully comprehend and little Jenn was just another reminder that his father had moved on with life after his divorce to Wayne Jr’s mother.

 

Fast forward to last night. I received a call from my sister and she explained that our brother had run away to Belize and abandoned his wife. He was in a crazy drunken state, escaped from rehab and on a very destructive course. My sister called to tell me she was basically disowning him and couldn’t take his behavior any longer. Wayne Jr. is smart, wicked smart. He is a physician’s assistant, a medical school graduate but a residency drop out. However, in South America, he has enough schooling to be considered a full fledged doctor. So he escaped there to write his own prescriptions and pretend that he is the medical professional he wishes to be. He escaped there to be someone different than he is here.

 

My brother is one of only two links to my biological father. I have no other connections to this side of my family. I have longed for years to know more about my father’s family but sadly, no one related to my father (other than my siblings) is still alive. I have fantasized about sitting down with my brother and asking him to tell me stories about our father. I would give anything to have a meaningful conversation with the man who so resembles my father and had more many more years with him than I. Yet, that is truly a fantasy because Wayne Jr is a shell of man and his memories are probably very jaded by now.

 

This morning on my drive I realized Belize is the perfect place for Wayne, it is removed, it is different. It is the perfect place for him to hit bottom and find Jesus. I know that sounds cliche but let me explain. As many of my church going friends know, Saul met Jesus on the road to Damascus and was forever changed. Saul was busy persecuting and killing Christians, until he met Jesus. It was at that time that he became known as Paul and he eventually was the catalyst for the spread of Christianity. You can’t really meet Jesus and not be changed, Paul being the best example of this. I believe that God is still meeting people “on the road to Damascus” and he is still changing them entirely. He changed me and he can change my brother. No matter how hopeless Wayne Jr’s situation is, God is hopeful.

 

I decided that this year I will pray every day for my brother, for a missionary or believer in Belize to meet Wayne and offer him something no drug could ever promise: hope. I know there is someone in Belize that God will put in Wayne’s path - God never stops offering a chance, not until every opportunity has been exhausted. Maybe a missionary will stumble into the clinic where Wayne is working and he will see with new eyes.

 

Join me, will you, in praying for Wayne to find what his heart really needs. Pray for that person who will deliver the message of love and hope to him, that they will be blessed beyond measure. I want to celebrate on my 33rd birthday the gift of a brother reborn in this life.

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Catching Up Edition


2009
01.04

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Posted in Lilly, events, family, holidays, isaac, jenn, joshua | No Comments »

Internet I have been busy! I know that you have too so we will make this quick…

 

First of all, Christmas was great. A while back I promised you a slide show of what I like to call the “Great Toddler Nativity Scene Re-enactment of 2008.” As I mentioned before, I had the pleasure of watching 30 toddlers act out the Nativity scene which was, by far, one of the highlights of the season.

 

Isaac took his role of king very seriously, focusing on the baby Jesus intently. So intently, that while the others faced the audience to sing their songs of adoration, my eldest son sang directly to the plastic baby in the wooden crib. He is very spiritual.

 

While the king was praising the plastic baby Jesus, Joshua the “angel” was busy wandering around the stage, rubbing his eyes and looking for Mommy.  

Below are a few pictures from the event, I hope you enjoy. Please ignore Isaac’s hair in the last picture - let’s just say the crown wreaked some havoc. Give a kid a break, okay?

 

 

 

 

 

On to Christmas. Well, we packed up our car with a ridiculous amount of presents and junk and headed to my mom’s house for 5 days. There really is nothing better than traveling with toddlers - toddlers who are aware their presents are behind them in the car(not the ones from Santa of course) and they can’t open them for 24 more hours. Oh the Joy! And did I mention that everyone (besides mom) developed a sinus infection on the 23rd? We ended up in the doctor’s office on Christmas Eve and were loaded up on antibiotics by noon that day.

 

Aside from the snot and the complaining (Kevin!) we managed to have a lovely Christmas Eve with my parents, Grandpa and almost all of my sisters. The kids got to play with their cousins a lot and it was great to see how Morgan, our token girl in the family, did with the big boys. Christmas Eve we got all of the little ones in the bathtub together, which was awesome, and by “awesome” I mean there were lots of pictures taken that will embarrass the crap out of the kids for years to come.

 

Overall, Christmas was great. I got a lovely pair of hand carved jade earrings, Kevin got a guitar, Isaac got a Leapfrog Leapster and Joshua also got a guitar (aka his “la la”). Since Christmas, we have only had to go to Target once to return the defective Leapster and there has been less than 10 meltdowns/tantrums over sharing new toys - we measure success in small steps. Below are some pictures of the Christmas festivities.

 

Tomorrow I turn 32 and well, yeah that sucks. My birthday kinda makes me sad so I have resolved to write a post tomorrow about what makes me happy: beauty products. Stay tuned for reviews and suggestions for favorite products.

 

I also mentioned in an earlier post that I started Weight Watchers and I will be offering a review of that on Tuesday, after I complete my first week. I will give you a hint though - I have already lost 1 pound!

 

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