There is a bird in Egypt that flies into the mouth of crocodiles and dines on the tiny bits of meat strung between the giant carnivores teeth. The Plover, or Crocodile Bird, plays an important role in the dental health of the crocodile and in turn the croc does not eat the tiny bird resting gently in it’s mouth.

I heard about this symbiotic relationship this week and it made me think of my trip to San Francisco, whereby I balanced on the sharp teeth of consumerism. Unfortunately unlike the Plover, I did not escape unscathed. Instead, whilst teetering between spending money and not, I fell into the jaws of corporate America and didn’t crawl out until I’d spent nearly $200. I am ashamed.

The picture I posted yesterday shows me holding an American Eagle bag. This was the first purchase (some undies and leggings if you must know). Then I had to buy a skirt and a shirt at Gap. After this Kevin and I went to the movies. What happened after that you ask? Well, when we emerged from the theater it was freezing and we had a long walk. Next thing you know, we where in front of Old Navy and I remembered that cute jacket I had posted a while back. So we went in to check it out. Turns out, it wasn’t as cute on. But this one was! After I purchased the jacket I new I was done. Done spending again for a while. Partly because I couldn’t afford anymore but also because it was uncomfortable to spend so much money on myself. I now realize that the larger goal (buying a house) is actually more attractive than my wardobe. Who would have thought?

So, I went two months and two weeks without purchasing one item for myself. I didn’t make it to November 8, which was the goal but I came close. I can tell you that I certainly learned something with this experiment, I learned that I don’t need as much stuff as I thought I did. I learned that if you don’t have money, you probably shouldn’t spend money – the most important lesson of them all. I guess the key, as with anything, is moderation. Buying one shirt or one jacket is okay but buying a whole new wardrobe in one day is not advisable.

I believe that because of this experiment I will be more like the Plover. I will stand on the teeth of a giant (aka the MALL) and simply pluck a few items out, instead of diving in head first and risk being swallowed whole.

Alright, I’m embracing a new tactic, so as to make sure my updates don’t get boring. I thought that I would show you some of the things that I would buy, if I weren’t on this fast. And broke. Whatever.

Okay, so here is an adorable cowlneck belted dress from Banana Republic that retails for $130. I would totally wear this to work with heels and then out with the hubby with tall black boots.

Next we have another belted dress in black, again from Banana. This one is a trench style dress that would make me feel like a spy/executive. Who could ask for a better mix? Price = $225.

For a more casual look we have this fantastic silk shirt that is paired here with jeans and a really great necklace (both Banana). I think accessories make the outfit, more people should embrace them. The shirt is $69 and the necklace is on sale for $29 (aka practically free).

Our last Banana item is this amazing camel colored sweater dress shown here with brown tights and knee high brown boots. I think this one is my favorite because I even like the models’ hair. Plus, tights are so hot right now and I’ve been looking for an excuse to wear them. Dress is $110 and the boots are $250 (ouch!).

On to more casual wear, I’m gonna need this coat from Old Navy for the winter – don’t you love the color? Old Navy calls it “Siberian blue” but I call it “will look yummy with my hair color blue.” Best part? It is Old Navy so it only costs $89.

I am also really grooving on this little hoodie from Old Navy. Once again they get the color wrong, they call it Spinach and I call it Fall’s best green. I really should write for these websites. Price? $16 (again practically free).

While the Abercrombie website is practically pornography, I did stop by long enough to “heart” this little navy blue shirt that would look adorable with some chino’s and ballet flats. It is $69.

Oh man, I found the chino’s too! How cute are these? And they are only $59!

Alright, I will stop there. Let’s see what our total is so far:

Cowlneck dress          130

Belted dress              225

Silk shirt                   69

Necklace                   29

Sweater dress           110

Boots                       250

Jacket                       89

Hoodie                      16

Pintuck shirt              69

Chino’s                     59

Total                        $1046

But let’s be honest, I have 30% off coupon for these items because I am a super great deal getter.

Total                 $1046

Less 30%               313

New total            $733

Plus tax (7%)    $52

GRAND TOTAL = $785

Not bad for a day’s work people. This is how you shop like a champion. Any questions?

Well, well. Things sure can change in a week. I mean one minute you think you have a drawer full of makeup so why would you even need to shop for that, and then Joshua strikes.

Now I am dying to buy some new make-up, preferably some eye shadow that hasn’t been dunked in microbial water. Also, my favorite bra broke this week, leaving me to the less comfortable ones for everyday wear. Between the make-up and the undergarments, I may be going au natural in no time. NOBODY WANTS TO SEE THAT, TRUST ME.

Captains log #1: When embarking on ill advised travel to new “no shopping” planet, make sure to pack everything in two’s. Noah was on to something.

Until next week,

Weary and Shoppless in Carmel

Okay, I’ve made it 30 days without purchasing anything for myself and no one has perished. It honestly, has been easier than I expected. I attribute this to the fact that I just stay out of malls and I don’t visit my favorite websites for shopping.

I think the thing that has stuck out the most for me is how much time women spend shopping. I mean we make day trips out of it. In our society shopping is a leisure activity, not a necessity. Don’t get me wrong, there is nothing I like more than spending the day at an outlet mall getting my bargain on. But aren’t there better ways for women to connect with each other and make memories? Can’t we find things to do that have more meaning and longer lasting joy? Okay, I am scaring myself. I just feel like consumerism has invaded every part of American life, to the point that it gets in the way of our relationships.

So, with Month 1 complete, I am looking forward to Month 2 and what it will hold. Maybe by day 60 I will have completely reversed my course and end up begging for a shopping experience but right now, I don’t miss it.

Crazy. That is what some of you will think I am by the end of this post, if you don’t already. However, this issue has been stewing in my mind for quite some time. It all revolves around shopping. Shoes, purses, sunglasses, shirts, dresses, pants, swimsuits, jackets…I love them all. I love to shop. I love Banana Republic, in fact I am a Luxe card member. I love Macy’s, especially the cosmetics department. I can always find something to buy. I can always justify a reason to buy it. This is the problem.

This time last year, Kevin and I had about $3000 on a credit card due to some entirely ridiculous car repairs on his very old Toyota. It was a necessary evil to put the charges on the card, which had previously been at zero, and we labored over having to go into debt. Fast forward to a year later and that total has increased six fold. More than a quarter of that total is directly related to the move and getting our house prepared to sell. Another quarter can be attributed to miscellaneous purchases that seemed necessary at the time, a golf game, a dinner out, tickets to a concert – all of which managed to linger and not get paid off. That brings me to the final quarter of what is sitting on the credit card, my clothes. I would say it is safe to estimate my clothing purchases for a year’s time in the $5000 range. And that doesn’t include purchases in cash, which were also varied and many. Seems like a crazy figure when you think of it as a lump sum. However, when it happens $75 at a time, it is more palatable and justified.

I have worked in an office for 9 years, requiring a wardrobe that includes suits, which are not cheap. I have justified these purchases for so long, I never stopped to realize that I was spending progressively more each year on the items. I once settled for a suit on major sale at Macy’s and now I only order from Banana Republic and have recently been eyeing full priced Tahari suits. Much like an alcoholic who begins with one drink and then eventually is swilling directly from the bottle, my disease has progressed. So much so, that in the past year, I have twice dropped $1000 in one shopping trip. When we moved, my shoes alone were contained in 4 separate moving boxes. I do not make enough money to support this habit and it is time to change.

I am not proud of this part of me; especially because it means my family has a chunk of debt to shoulder because I like clothes. It just has to stop. I have been inspired by stories of families who give up shopping for anything new for a year. I have never felt compelled to join them. However, as I have struggled with this new job and the pressure to work because we need the money, my thoughts on this “no-shopping” concept have begun to change.

What if I didn’t buy clothes for a year? Could I do it? What would I learn and how hard would it be? Obviously I have to buy clothes for the kids but what if I just wore what I already have? Would I cease to exist if I didn’t have the new pair of Steve Madden heels or the new linen jacket from Gap? I have a feeling that my urge to shop comes from a much deeper, more intimate place than I would like to recognize. I believe it comes from deep seeded insecurity and discomfort – something that clothes will never change, just mask.

So, I did a little research on this topic and two years ago author Judith Levine undertook this very challenge, only she didn’t shop for anything. There is also a blogger that gave up shopping because she had too much stuff. I am not ready to go so far as to give up shopping for everything and like I said I don’t want to include my family in this, it is about me and my spending habits. I want to learn to stop and really feel the emotions that come up when I am just dying to go shopping – what am I trying to fulfill? Can I learn to keep clothing a necessary item and not a coveted idol? Also, could I actually get that credit card paid off?

So, I am going to start with 90 days. I will not buy any clothes for 90 days and after that, if I am still breathing, I will extend it to 6 months and then maybe a year. My goal is that every time I feel like I have disposable money for clothes, I will make a payment to the credit card. Maybe by the end of 2008, both my credit and I will be better for this experiment.

As a part of the process there will be a weekly post on the subject regarding how I am doing with the plan and how much I’ve paid to the credit card. Since this goal is a bit like a fast, I am thinking I will call it Friday’s Fasting Update. I don’t expect this challenge to be easy, in fact I think it is going to be terribly hard but isn’t anything in life worth doing usually so?

Please feel free to leave comments and share your opinion about this idea– also would some of you like to join me? Do you find yourselves in the same position both financially and personally? Are clothes filling a void in your life that isn’t appropriate or healthy? I would love to have some guest posts on Friday’s from your experiences if you chose to join in.

So ladies, let’s do this!