The post below is an entry for a contest to win a trip for two to a conference by Donald Miller. If you have been around here for a while, you know I am a big fan of his. As I wrote this entry, I realized I’ve never really wanted something more than this. I think that is a good sign that it is the right place to start.

I can feel the constriction from any given point in my day. It is like a belt that tightens around my heart, my dreams for tomorrow.

The voice that says: “You could go to law school!” is always answered by the voice that says “But we have too much debt already.”

Again the optimist says: “We could give to that ministry!” is again followed by the “We have to pay our debt first.”

The second voice isn’t mean, just practical. The problem is, the practical has squashed the dreamer, the optimist, almost to the point of extinction. In considering entering this contest, I realized I was in pretty bad shape because I couldn’t identify what story I wanted to live. I hadn’t allowed myself to think about that because my eyes are fixated on the here and now. The future isn’t something I can afford to consider.

Our story isn’t different than many others in this economy, we lived beyond our means for a time when things were good. Then jobs changed, the market changed, we had another child and…..well now we have enough consumer debt that we feel a little strangled on most days. All of the big ideas, the good ideas, the God ideas, get shelved.

The dreaming. gets. shelved.

It is squashing my spirit, pulling in tight around the corners and making me feel less alive. So what is the better story? What am I hoping to do? My hope is that by writing about this, talking about it out loud, my commitment to changing it will be forged into solid, granite determination to rid ourselves of debt. That the ideas for changing it will flow like water out of a refreshed soul.

God’s Word is clear about debt.  It takes away our freedom to think big, to live the story that attracts and promotes joy.

So my plan is this:

I love to write and I have had a blog for a long time now. I would like to find a way to make money doing something that I love so that I can help pay down our debt. Debt that I had a big hand in accumulating (thanks Banana Republic!). In order to make any decent contribution to this debt, I am going to need some help with networking my blog and advertising on my site. I admittedly don’t know where to start with this but there are people who do. There are also people who need writers for contract work and here I am, raising my hand, saying I’m up for it.

I know that everyone with a blog thinks they can make money with it and a few posts into blogging they quickly realize they most likely won’t. I’ve been doing this for years and have no illusions about what it would take. I also know that I have the talent, the determination and the desire to make it happen. I want to use the passion God gave me for writing and help my family dig out of debt so that we can live a better story together. So that we can dream big together. I want my boys, all three of them, to experience freedom of heart. I want to give them that gift, the gift of a good example.

Going to this seminar, I expect to have the fire of imagination and future planning lit. I need your help to do it.

Here is the video Don posted about the conference, check it out:

Living a Better Story Seminar from All Things Converge Podcast on Vimeo.

First Tori Spelling says she talked to Farrah Fawcett’s spirit. Then I read that there is silly putty in Chicken Nuggets. As if this isn’t enough to make my brain explode, I then read that they barred the inhabitants at the International Space Station from having sex. Not only am I disillusioned about my love affair with Tori Spelling, my kids now can’t have chicken nuggets because they are like one chemical reaction away from plastic and NASA just took the fun out of space travel. I must proceed with a written statement to each of the following:

Tori:please, please, please be quiet and let me pretend that I can watch your show and read your books all the while thinking that we might be friends in real life. When you talk about communicating with dead spirits, it just ruins everything. Kinda like when Donna and David finally had sex. Blech.

McDonald’s: silly putty? Really? Look I don’t pretend to think that your food is good for my children. However, using plastic in the process of food production just crosses the line. I don’t think Ronald would approve. Although he is a make-up wearing, mute clown so I guess maybe his judgement may be questionable as well. Damn it.

NASA: let’s not pretend that you aren’t full of pocket protector wearing geeks who probably didn’t have a decent college social life. If the good nerds people risking their lives in the name of science by getting into a tiny rocket and shooting into the sky a bazillion miles away want to knock space boots, I say…have at it. Besides, isn’t there some scientific exploration inherent in space sex? Do it for the good of mankind!

And that is your Monday news-so-weird-it-makes-my-teeth-hurt roundup, free of charge.

This week has been an interesting one, to say the least. My lovely Elijah is pretty much not sleeping and my oldest child has taken to acting like a pre-teen at the ripe old age of 6. If I hear him say “that is so dumb” one more time…..However, we are LOVING our summer Nanny – Miss Lauren (hi Lauren!!!)- and she has taken the boys to do some awesome stuff and I feel really blessed to have both her and my parents around. Not sure what this working mom would do without all of the help.

So, my list of things I am loving this week includes NO beauty products (insert SHOCK and AWE here). Read on my lovelies:

1. It isn’t the first time that a candid interview got someone fired….but man General McChrystal sure did go out with a bang. For those of you who aren’t political junkies I will break this down for you, McChrystal was the General leading the war effort in Afghanistan. (yes we are still at war in Afghanistan, a war that we are not likely to win) So, the General didn’t play well with others and he told a Rolling Stone magazine reporter about the mean names he and his people call the Vice Prez. Shockingly, yesterday he was “relieved of his duties”. If you read the article, I dare you to not walk away thinking this guy is EXACTLY the kind of guy you want planning a war effort. This little saga was fun too watch this week.

2. On a sports related theme….how awesome was the Isner match at Wimbeldon? Or the last second goal by USA in the World Cup? I love it when sports event give you chills. Twice this week that was the case.

3. How could I not mention this little incident? Cassie and her brilliant idea got picked up by the NYT parenting blog, the Motherlode. I got caught up in the tidal wave and am proud to be a part of this project. If you are here now because of this post, thanks for reading and I hope you stick around.

4. Remember last year when I did Weight Watchers, lost some weight and started to feel sexy and then BAM! I got preggo? Lesson learned, skinny Jenn = higher likelihood of “fun time” = baby. That’s just straight up math folks. Anyway, when I was on WW, I discovered a few foods that had little or no points and were actually fantastic. Once I got preggo, I couldn’t stand the sight of anything healthy and basically swam in a vat of sugar and carbs for 9 straight months. As I get back to life as normal 8 months postpartum, I am loving some of these foods again. First on the list is Progresso Chicken Noodle Soup. Only 100 calories per serving. I swear if I eat this for dinner for  a week straight (not always fun but do-able) I wake up skinnier. Try it, I dare you. I also LOVE Good Earth Sweet and Spicy tea. You don’t need to add sugar and it is good anytime of day. It has saved me many a late night calorie fest. As Yo Gabba Gabba would say “Try it, You’ll Like it!” I’m sorry for that, if you are a mom and you know that song, it will be stuck in your head the rest of the day.

5. Okay so I lied. I am including a beauty product. As I worked down the list, I caught a whiff of my hair (weird) and I remembered that I haven’t told you about It’s A 10. Best leave in conditioner ever. As in, EVER. It smells good, doesn’t weigh your hair down and it actually works.

One of my favorite websites is written by a girl named Amber. The other day I was on her site and she had linked to a site written by a girl named Sarah Markley. Just when I think the web is mostly pointless drivel and porn, writing like Sarah’s touches my heart and reminds me why I love to read blogs. Last week, Sarah told her story of adultry and how God used it to heal her marriage. You heard me right, God healed her marriage through a horrible sinful situation. He rocks and so does Sarah..Start with Part 1, I promise you won’t be disappointed.

Also, while spending time on Sarah’s site I came across some entries she had about attending a writing conference at Mount Herman in Santa Cruz. The next one is in March of 2010 and I am really considering going. Any other gals out there that want to go with me?

Writing is my passion, my release, my salve. If I could find a way for it to pay the bills, I would. However, if that were the case there would be no such use for the term “starving artist.” Actually, I have never fancied myself to be artistic. I can’t sing, paint, draw or manage to create anything crafty beyond the 2nd grade level. I guess I’ve discounted writing as art, my brain housing only one definition of artistic and writing wasn’t in the small print. It is time for that definition to change.

When I was little and unbound by my definitions, I used to be very creative. I would make collages, I would build houses filled with happy people out of construction paper and old shoeboxes. I would marvel at my handiwork. I would spend hours hunched over a desk, no use for a clock, creating. As I grew, I looked around and saw that others were better than me at drawing, creating tangible art. I assumed that meant I wasn’t artistic or destined to be creative. I put down my markers, my colorful paper. I spent the next twenty years, hidden away in other peoples creative visions – books. I was friends with librarians, I would read 50 books a year. I learned to love words and how they can be spun together like wool to make a story that covers you, if only for a moment.

I would hide my visions away in notebooks meant for my eyes only. I called them journals and I wrote to no audience in particular. Fiction wasn’t for me, the story was always the same. Telling life as I see it, looking for the turquoise blue in my hands full of  life’s sea glass, that came natural. Still, until I started this blog, it was only for me and I often judged the quality of the words before they spilled onto the paper.

Yet, when I think about what has always driven me, what has always inspired me and filled my soul, the answer falls like silver coins from a slot machine and fills the floor around me: write. There is art in words. I am an artist.

So, I would be the first to say that I am not always up to date on everything. Except make-up. I know a lot about make-up. However, when it comes to things technical or web related my knowledge is limited. I mean, I twitter, but who doesn’t?

Recently I was reading someones blog and she was all : Remember when you used to have to go to EVERY website you liked and check for updates? And I was all, YEAH! And then she said, man that was so lame now that I have Google Reader, I don’t know what I did without it. And I was all, I am going to google “google reader” because I am lame.

That brings me to today’s pathetic post. Readers, do you know about Google Reader? BECAUSE IT ROCKS. I thought maybe you are like me and you click through numerous blogs everyday to get to ones you like and you check them for updates. For example, I like Mightygirl.com and she has Andrea’s website linked to hers so I click there. Then I go to my friend Alison’s site and check her blog roll for updates from Wendy’s website.  WHAT A HASSLE! I also visit multiple news sites a day and frankly the point and clicking is catching up with my carpel tunnel ridden wrists.

So you say, Jenn how do set up Google Reader? I shall tell you because I am nice like that. And I have pity on those as technologically challenged as myself.

1. Go to www.google.com/reader
2. If you have gmail already, just sign in. If not, set up an account.
3. Under the “add subscrputions” tab, just start adding all the blogs you read. Take your time, you only have to do this once!
4. After that, sign in and check out your subscriptions – no clicking! The pages are right there and they let you know if they have been updated! You can read your favorite websites right in Google Reader or you can click on the site and go to it yourself. People this is kind of like online bill pay – sure you can still mail in checks to PG&E by WHY WOULD YOU when you can just click and be done with it?

Okay, lecture over. But seriously Google Reader Rocks. Oh and once you have a gmail account, you can share your subscriptions with others. So if you sign up and do this, send me your list…I would love to see what sites you all read everyday. Those of you who already have gmail accounts, there is no excuse (Rebecca, Maureen and Alison I am talking to you)Actually, that brings me to a question:

What sites do you read everyday and why? What blogs are your “must reads?” I would love to know so do tell. Also, if you are reading this and you are thinking, she is so lame, I have Google Reader and I know way more about it than her – feel free to school me on what you know. People I am just a sponge, looking to soak up information about technology so that my head isn’t totally filled with MAC, Benefit and Origins. Diversity is good.