My oldest child wants to argue about everything.
He is only six, and already refuses to take direction without a complete run down of why he must complete said requirement and by the way, might he suggest a different way to accomplish it? I cannot imagine how incredible his debate skills will be by the teen years. If I’m not careful, his father and I will be the ones with a curfew and Isaac will have taken over the master bedroom. After that, look out law school, Isaac is coming and you better have your student handbook in order, otherwise the Captain is going to find the loopholes.
I often have to tell Isaac to just.stop.talking. No, just stop. Nothing more, child, cease speaking. After 32 “buts” this mama starts to loose patience with my little arguer. He is smart, I will give him that. He sees the holes in my logic and hones in on the weakness like an eagle on its’ prey. I can’t even start to give him direction unless I make sure I know the answers to his inevitable follow up questions. Dealing with him is not unlike a game of chess, if I’m not thinking a few steps ahead…I will loose. I am not sure what happened to my little, precious baby boy but he has officially been replaced with a pint sized scholar, with an attitude. For example:
Isaac: Mom, are Storm Troopers good or bad?
Me: Bad, they work for Darth Vader.
Isaac: No, you are wrong.
Me: Isaac, I have seen Star Wars a few more times than you…
Isaac: Well tell that to my Leapster, the Star Wars game let’s me be a good Storm Trooper.
Me: Okay smarty pants, then why did you ask me if you knew the answer?
Isaac: To see what you knew.
I am proud to be Isaac’s mom. I am ecstatic that God gave him such a bright and engaged brain with which to turn the world upside down and around while he searches for flaws in logic and ways to challenge the world. But he drives me batty with this character trait as well. Sometimes I can see in his eyes that he just wants to be the boss, to give direction and be in charge because he thinks he knows it all. Some days, he even seems to get stressed out over the details, as though his brain is years ahead of his 6 year old heart.
Isaac gets it from me. The arguing, the quest for justice and logic and fairness in everything. The desire to grow up too fast, to be the boss, to be in charge. All.from.me.
Now that I am the grown up, I am in charge, I wish I could go back. Be a kid, enjoy not having to know the details behind all the decisions. I think my job as Isaac’s mom is to keep him a kid as long as possible. To let him ask all the questions but to also let him know there are limits and that he is not the boss.
Seeing your weaknesses displayed on your children is painful. I know that Isaac’s strong personality and his quick mind will serve him well but it will also bring challenges. Challenges that I have faced and life lessons that I know come with grief.
I am 33 years old and I am just now really beginning to understand and accept the flaws in my personality. I am just now learning when to shut my mouth. How do I teach my child these life lessons, pass down my “wisdom” when I am still learning the lessons myself?Read More