Barack Obama gave this speech at the Jefferson-Jackson Day Dinner in Iowa the other night:

This party - the party of Jefferson and Jackson; of Roosevelt and Kennedy - has always made the biggest difference in the lives of the American people when we led, not by polls, but by principle; not by calculation, but by conviction; when we summoned the entire nation to a common purpose - a higher purpose. And I run for the Presidency of the United States of America because that’s the party America needs us to be right now.

Our moment is now.

Let me break this down:

I’m in this race to take those tax breaks away from companies that are moving jobs overseas and put them in the pockets of hard working Americans who deserve it. And I won’t raise the minimum wage every ten years -I will raise it to keep pace so that workers don’t’ fall behind.

So Mr. Obama, you will dip into corporate pockets not once, not twice but possibly on an annual basis in order to keep jobs? Sorry but the math on that doesn’t work. I’m not saying that corporate fat cats can’t stand to make less of a profit but to assert that you are both going to get rid of tax breaks and make minimum wage a “living wage” and not affect the economies of doing business in America? I call shenanigans on that.

I’m in this race because I want to stop talking about the outrage of 47 million Americans without health care and start actually doing something about it. I expanded health care in Illinois by bringing Democrats and Republicans together. By taking on the insurance industry. And that is how I will make certain that every single American in this country has health care they can count on and I won’t do it twenty years from now, I won’t do it ten years from now, I will do it by the end of my first term as President of the United States of America.

First of all, insurance for everyone is a laudable goal, however, to promise to have a national health care system in place in four years? With this congress? Please, that is just campaign “feel goods”, not real actionable goals. Second, now that you’ve cut corporate tax breaks, made a “living wage” standard, now you are going to make every company offer health care? Or every company/individual pays a 30% increase taxes in order to fund government run health care? Bye Bye Business!!!

I run for president to make sure that every American child has the best education that we have to offer- from the day they are born to the day they graduate from college. And I won’t just talk about how great teachers are - as President I will reward them for their greatness - by raising salaries and giving them more support. That’s why I’m in this race.

This one is my favorite. Really. So Obama, you are going to make sure every child has the best education from k-to college? How are you going to pay for that? Is the government going to promise that every child can go to college? What about the fact that not all of our students are eligible for college? Are you going to subsidize grades along with tuition? Fundamentally if we tell every student that he/she should go to college…what happens to trade schools? What about the fact that the majority of jobs in America depend on trade skill type training? Is that sub-par?

As President, I will end the war in Iraq. We will have our troops home in sixteen months. I will close Guantanamo. I will restore habeas corpus. I will finish the fight against Al Qaeda. And I will lead the world to combat the common threats of the 21st century - nuclear weapons and terrorism; climate change and poverty; genocide and disease. And I will send once more a message to those yearning faces beyond our shores that says, “You matter to us. Your future is our future. And our moment is now.”

This one begs the question - How? Finish the fight against Al Qaeda? How? Not the GWB and his lot have done the best job, or even the right job but smart people are trying to figure out how to end this war and rid the world of Al Qaeda so unless you have a new idea that pencils out - no more false promises, the American people have had enough of that the last few years.

So in summary, Obama’s speech is a good one…it is inspirational but it lacks the substance needed to bring this country back from war and into a new period of prosperity. Obama is a visionary and says the right things, but much like all of the other GWB/Republican detractors they are only good at saying that things are bad, not offering real solutions to turn the ship around.

This afternoon, after enjoying a lovely sushi lunch with my husband, we walked over to the nearest Safeway in search of a little afternoon caffiene. (Don’t tell my friend Coffee but I totally drank a large Red Bull and… it was good. )

Anyway, I had an old lottery ticket to turn in (I won $2) so I went ahead and walked up to the customer service desk to collect my meager winnings. I then, like every other poor lottery fool, walked over to the Scratcher machine and deposited my winnings into the machine. Out came my $2 Scratcher and I went on my way, Red Bull in hand.

When I got back to work, I scratched off the ticket and to my surprise….. I won!!!! Not $2, not a FREE TICKET, but $100!!!

Read it and weep sucka’s….

When you get old, stupid things excite you. Like diapers being on sale at Costco, sleeping in until 7:30 am, gas being below $3 a gallon, and the fact that they made a movie about Transformers.

What really gets me going though? What really turns a no good very bad day into a day worth celebrating?

Appliances. Big ones. Fancy ones, ones with lots of options. Like “extra fast spin” and “antibacterial wash” and the ever amusing “steam cycle.”

Seriously people I do a lot of laundry. Like more than 7 loads a week. So you can imagine my dismay when my 18 year old washing machine decided to go to washing machine heaven. Well, not really heaven because it wasn’t totally dead - just dead enough. It would overflow into the hallway periodically and it would stop mid-cycle just for fun.

I have been begging the hubby for a new washer and dryer for some time now. After we had Joshua, the washload in this house went from reasonable to just plain ridiculous (this takes place in a short stretch of time for me, I am not very patient - shock.ing. I know.) So the first time the old washer overflowed into the hallway, I was like “sweet!” I can get a new one. My husband, the mule (read: stubborn) said, let’s wait and see if it happens again. And it didn’t. Not for like 3 weeks. Then it started this fun new thing where it would stop midcycle and not start again until you move the dial ever so slightly one click to the right, no left, then right, hold your breathe and wait…wait, crap. Anyway, as I complained ever so gently about the laundry situation, I felt as though my loving requests for new machinery were going unheard. Turns out, Hubby was all over buying new appliances, he just wanted it to be a surprise. Like, SUPRISE!!!! a new blender! Surprise!!!! A new weed whacker!!!! Do you see where I’m going here kids? When you get old - it will make you sad what constitutes a cool surprise.

However silly this may sound, it was a great present. He had the old ones hauled away and the shiny new ones put in place, all without me knowing a thing. Sad part is, it might be the first surprise he has ever pulled off in 10 years of us being together.

So the new washer and dryer - RAD and RAW (Ridiculously Awesome Dryer and Washer respectively) are in place and I feel like a giddy school girl. You would think I had won the lottery when I saw them for the first time. We actually sat there and watched the full spin cycle for the first load. We watched it people. Like it was going to do something entirely different than WASH CLOTHES. I think maybe just for a second we thought they might send the clothes to space, have them laundered there and then return them to our laundry room (folded of course).

When it was all said and done - RAD and RAW just simply washed and dried the clothes. But they washed and dried them in style. And this is why my husband, he hard rocks it.

I took some pics of RAD and RAW for your viewing pleasure. For those of you mom’s out there - be careful, what you are about to see might spark jealously and malcontent with your current washer and dryer….don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Wait for it…

Wait for it…..

Ahhhhh yeah.

I am sitting here, playing on the computer. Both children are in bed, and the house is generally clean. Kevin is watching football/playing old school tetris on a gameboy. Life is good….but I feel like something is missing. Why do I struggle with contentment? Will I always?

So I am a total computer/web/anything technical idiot. I seriously can barely use windows programs and manage to check my email (comes up on my internet homepage). However, today I have managed to edit this webpage and add some html code so that I have a del.icio.us tag. Look out Internets, here I come!

I keep waiting for relevance. I am standing on tip toes looking over the fence into life, waiting. I thought it would be easier than this. I thought that when I “got” certain things the struggle would be over, or at the very least, lessened. However, that longing inside me to be someone and make a difference keeps getting stronger. Yet my personal belief that I actually can do something special is waning with every second.
I became a Christian with the sincere belief that it was the truth and that it would set me free. I thought it would all happen for me quickly and if not quickly then at least with little fuss. Fuss is how I would describe the years since. Just a lot of fuss and drama and wrangling and confusion. The desires inside me, the real human ones seem stronger today than yesterday. My internal clock of rebellion seems like a ticking time bomb. I thought that I had dealt with these things when I became a Christian. But really I just spent years avoiding them. I crushed any spirit of discontentment with shame. I told myself that I was lucky to have been sought out by God and that I was set apart. I was (and still am) set apart but I am learning that set apart doesn’t mean spared from sin or struggle.
Years of Christianity have taught me more of what I don’t know than what I do know about myself and the world around me. I don’t know why God is the way He is.m I don’t know why He does the things He does. Sometimes my heart doesn’t even believe that He is good. Sometimes I am embarrased to be a Christian. Sometimes I am embarrased by how much of Christian I am not. Would Jesus recognize Christianity even? Would He say that my version is what He had in mind?

A lot of me is being challenged right now. I am being tempted and torn in so many directions. I want to stick to my faith like I did when things seemed hard before. But now they are really hard and I don’t think I was prepared for this type of committment. So here is my real question - Don’t all of us just really want to be super human on the inside? Don’t we all want to be the person that in the last hour does the right thing or the miraculous thing? I know that I do but right now I am so scared that I am going to do the wrong thing that I could just cry. But I won’t, I will just wait and see if God that meets me in this place is relevant for my moment. My first real moment of testing.

Well it turns out I have genetic issues. The kind that causes me to have RPL - repeat pregnancy loss. Oh the fun. Let me tell you my story - normally I wouldn’t indulge myself but who cares? No one is reading right?

Wednesday morning. Kevin is gone, off on a business trip. I drop Isaac off and head to my 2 week follow up from my D&C for most recent miscarriage. I get to the office and am ushered back to a room and asked to take my pants off. Hmmm. I wish this story was as much fun as it appears….

Doc: Good morning, how are you?
Me(sans pants): Great, how are you?
Doc: How have you been feeling since the proceedure
Me: like total crap - still bleeding.
(Insert speculum and other medical utensils here)
Doc: looks like everything is fine - you should stop bleeding soon. We need to do a complete genetic screening on you to see if we can find the cause of your miscarriages.
Me: Uh, the other Dr ordered one two weeks ago- thought we were going over the results today.
(insert Dr. paper shuffling then excusing himself to go get results from the nurse)
Doc:Nurse is checking, we will see in just a few minutes what the tests have to say.
Me: Could it be that the mc’s were normal and that Isaac my son was abornmal? What I mean is, could it be that he was just a miracle and I wasn’t meant to have kids?
Doc: Anything is possible, but I highly doubt your son was an anomalie. The chance of something coming up on the screening is highly unlikely.

Nurse: here you go Doc.

Doc:Well, that is surprising, but good. You have a genetic mutation that is causing your miscarriages. It is a disorder that causes clotting in the placenta.
Me: What? What is it called? Is it common? What is the treatment?
Doc: Not common but treatable - with heparin or lovenox. Both are shots that you administer to yourself daily that thin your blood.
Me:For how long?
Doc: Your whole pregnancy. The shots are given 2 or 3 times a day.
Me: (crying) maybe I was right about Isaac then? I mean genetics don’t change, right?
Doc:Actually you are right - there is no medical explanation for your son.
Me: Okay, well what next?
Doc:I will see you in 4 weeks, call with any questions and don’t try to get pregnant until at least July.
Me: Yeah, not exactly thinking that I want to conceive at all - let alone in the next 4 weeks.

Then I leave and cry for the next 4 hours. I mean before, I thought I just had bad luck. Now I have a diagnosis. A real one. From a good doctor. How did this happen? I have some really big decisions to make. Do I go through with another pregnancy, hoping that the shots and all of the medicine will work? Or do I call it a day and be thankful that I have one child? I swear, I feel like the oldest 29 year old ever. Where did all of the carefree days go? I miss them. I miss not being worried about a $3000 mortgage payment, how to potty train, making the right career moves, skin cancer from taning, coloring my gray hairs and having children. Imiss that for several years of my early adulthood my biggest worry was getting an A in my Politcal Science classes. I wish I could go back and tell that young woman to have a little more fun because life isn’t getting any easier from here…………

thoughts:

Madonna does still rock -but only Barney should wear purple spandex

Chris Martin has crazy eyes. I wonder if Apple will look like him - that’s some luck.

Kelly Clarkson sounded ri.di.cu.lous. - how did she beat Gwennie?

U2 - best band ever. Mary J Blige and U2 is like totally working for me right now. But what other combo lies in store tonight that doesn’t work? Allison Krauss and Eminem?

OMG - Kanye West is in the house, guess that means that God isn’t necessary in LA tonight. Well is He ever?

David Bowie wins award - all I see is the Labyrinth

KW wins. This means that he will never shut up. Or stop posing as Jesus.

You call coffee “foffee”
You can’t say “the other one” so you say “other too”
You got your first ouchie yesterday when you were chasing a dog and you fell face first on the sidewalk. You look like rudolph. I knew you were really hurt because even a cookie didn’t stop the crying.
You are obsessed with matchbox cars and Finding Nemo.
You love light switches and you pile things up so that you can stand on them and reach the lights. Once you reach it, you say “I did it!”
Whenever your Daddy hums a “club beat” you start dancing immediately. Badly. It is hysterical. You look like “Night at the Roxbury.”
You always forget the “one” when you count to five.
You have started calling me “mom” and I hate it. I will be mommy until you get married, got it?
You are the love of my life little boy - don’t you ever forget it.