Recently someone asked me what some of my favorite things are and it got me thinking. If I had to pick 10 things I couldn’t live without - what would they be? As I worked on my list, I thought it revealed a little about me (in a superficial sort of way) and I thought my readers should give the list a try. So, chime in and tell me what 10 things you can’t live without. Please note, these are things of the non-human nature, meaning if you can’t live without your Great Aunt Sue, I understand but that isn’t really what I was thinking when I made this list.

Okay, I’ll go first (no particular order):

• My coffeemaker
• Sunglasses
• Coffee Beans
• Books
• Bob Marley’s Legend Album
• My running shoes (asics)
• Disinfecting wipes
• The Body Shop’s Coconut Body Butter
• MAC lip gloss
• My Blackberry Curve

I don’t want to open up a hornet’s nest. However, I can’t stop thinking about this issue, probably because a week after the election, it is still front page news. The issue is Prop 8 and how I am still upset that it passed.

I know some of you are saying - but Jenn you are a church going Christian, don’t you believe that marriage is between a man and a woman? The answer is, yes. I, in fact, do believe that marriage is between a man and a woman. However, that is not what Prop 8 was really about.

Those who sponsored Prop 8 presented you and I with a false dilemma. They forced us to choose whether or not gay couples in California could marry, under our (read:Judeo-Christian) definition of marriage. But this is not the real issue. I believe the backers of Prop 8 used the Christian community to rally against gay marriage, without dealing with the real question - do we as a country allow a group of citizens the right to be in union (whatever you want to call it) with whom they choose? You see, I believe when presented with the option to allow gay couples the same legal rights as straight couples, Californians would have voted YES! All people should have the same rights under the law, no matter their beliefs.

Let me explain further - just because I believe in Jesus and what He said about marriage, does that mean I can’t be supportive of other people who don’t believe what I believe about Jesus? Does that mean that the rights of those people should be reduced by the difference between our two belief systems? I don’t think so. Further, for those that saw the signs saying “Protect Our Families - Vote Yes on 8″ - I ask you, how exactly do gay couples threaten our families? If we are really worried about protecting our families then maybe we should consider our own actions at home before we chastise the actions of others.

I do not put my faith in Government. I do not expect Government to advocate for my beliefs. Mostly because what if they get it wrong? (as they are often known to do) Sometimes Christians miss the obvious on this issue - like what if the Government advocated for Catholic beliefs? Or Southern Baptist? Or Mormon? Even in the ”Christian” community there are thousands of bifurcations on beliefs. I think author and commentator Cal Thomas puts it well:

Thirty years of trying to use government to stop abortion, preserve opposite-sex marriage, improve television and movie content and transform culture into the conservative Evangelical image has failed. The question now becomes: should conservative Christians redouble their efforts, contributing more millions to radio and TV preachers and activists, or would they be wise to try something else?

I opt for trying something else.

Too many conservative Evangelicals have put too much faith in the power of government to transform culture. The futility inherent in such misplaced faith can be demonstrated by asking these activists a simple question: Does the secular left, when it holds power, persuade conservatives to live by their standards? Of course they do not. Why, then, would conservative Evangelicals expect people who do not share their worldview and view of God to accept their beliefs when they control government?

One of my sisters is gay. She lives with her partner and I adore them both. They do not share my view of God or my belief in the Bible. They got married a couple of months ago in a brief civil ceremony. They desire to be with each other until their lives here on earth are over. How can I look at them and say - because I believe in the Bible, and I believe that gay marriage is not what God intended, they therefore should not be together? I, in fact, can not. Maybe that is a weakness of faith on my behalf. However, no matter what I certainly can not ask the government that governs us both to chose my way of life over theirs. It would be a constitutional breach of their rights to pursue their liberty and happiness.

Prop 8 asked us to define, in our Constitution, marriage as being between a man and a woman. We were forced to make a socio-religious decision between two false choices. As usual, the answer to the question of gay marriage lies somewhere in the gray middle, not in the dark spaces on each side. However, I believe there is a very clear answer to the question of whether or not our government should afford the same rights to all citizens of this country, no matter their beliefs.

What do you think?

I have no time to write on my web page because I am hopelessly entranced in a book about a teenage vampire love story. My life has been reduced to this sad, sad state.

However, I am working on a couple of posts in the back of my mind:

 - why I voted No on Prop 8 (a wee bit controversial but whatever)

 - my Thanksgiving plans and why I think we are going to have to eat take-out

Sweet

I was wearing a really great dress. My hair turned out perfect and I had on my best shoes, the ones so dainty and sparkly that my feet look like little presents. We walked in and I scanned the crowd, no one familiar. I had my incredibly handsome husband by my side, his new tuxedo fitted to perfection. I had already decided we were the best dressed couple there. However, with all the money in this room, it was unlikely that we were really the best dressed, just the most current. In this county, money seems hopelessly lost on the old and tasteless. Deep inside, even though I felt like I looked good, I was insecure that I didn’t know anyone and thinking maybe someone could see in my eyes that I felt out of place in this opulent ballroom, tucked in one of the most beautiful resorts in the country. I honestly felt more aligned with the wait staff than our dinner guests, mostly because in the fiscal pyramid, I am.

Small talk with a stranger visiting our table led to a realization that a person sitting as his table was someone I had gone to school with years before. Someone who had been the most popular boy - wealthy, good looking and mostly cruel. Growing up in this area, I was different. We didn’t have the money or the privilege of our fellow residents, just good fortune. It didn’t help that I had a HORRIBLE maiden name - one that would always cause a snicker or a jeer. This last name was the bane of my junior high existence. 

This boy, the one I have just been told is only a few tables away, was the king of taunting. He alone could reduce me to tears and make me feel like I was a total nerd and outcast. As I took this strangers hand, by his insistence this lovely reunion occur, I was mortified. I couldn’t believe that after 15 years I would see him again, would I be reduced the 12 year old with a ugly perm and no sense of self?

As he turned around, time stopped. It was a moment I will never forget. It wasn’t that he looked bad, he doesn’t. It is just that time has been friendlier to the girl with the bad hair and silly last name, than the privileged boy with the sharp tongue. In a flash, his eyes registered who I was and time, all those years, condensed into minutes as I stood in front of him. He was pleasant, he had a lovely pregnant wife and she quickly made the moment less awkward. I told him my new last name and we both laughed a little about my old one.

A few moments later as I walked away with my head held high, thinking if the whole night was for that tiny moment, it was worth it. There is nothing quite as satisfying as shocking someone by being more than they expected.

 *UPDATE* Follow this link, and at about 1min in, you will see a dark haired girl and a tall boy walk past the cameras….guess who?

Sucked In

I am a reader. In high school, I could put away about 50 books a year. I read everything from John Grisham to Danielle Steele. I would read to escape, not from a horrible life but from the reality of being a teenager in a small town.  I plowed through books, sometimes never really reading the fine print, just absorbing the basic story and then moving on to the next title. However, there was one author I savored, Ann Rice. I love me some vampire drama. Which makes no sense because I am a total chicken who can’t stand scary movies and avoid dark places like I avoid decaf coffee (seriously what is the point?). I just loved the intricacy and totality of Ann’s storytelling. She pulled me into a world I couldn’t comprehend and for the duration of the novel, I called it home.

As I got to college, I had less time for pleasure reading, plus I realized most of my reading had turned to that of the romance nature. It wasn’t that I thought romance novels were bad for me but I realized they were skewing my expectations on dating. I probably was not going to have my clothes torn off in a fit of passion, whilst riding a gondola in turn of the century Venice. Nor was I likely to find myself sold into marriage in the 1800’s to a man that seemed gruff but turned out to be the most sensitive lover for which a woman could ask. So, I mainly put aside fiction reading and turned to humor and biographies.

In conversation a few months back with a friend (Hi Zoe!) I was told about the Twighlight series.  I put off the purchase until today. I knew that I would love the books and my social life would suffer because of it, as I called off girls’ night for night with the “undead”. So, as I begin this new series, I apologize ahead of time if my writing slacks off but just blame it on me being sucked in.

I’ve read all of the newspapers. I’ve watched all of the coverage. I’ve combed through the returns and I’ve listened to the pundits. Nowhere, not in any of the statistics or any of the articles has the spirit of this election truly been captured.

Whether you supported Obama or not (statistics say most of you did), what happened last night is something for which we must all be proud. People crawled out of the tiny corners of this country to come and vote. People cared, people wept. I believe what lies ahead for President-elect Obama is mighty. His burden will be more than any of us can imagine. A country at war, a financial crisis, a healthcare system in chaos and a budget in deficit - these are the things that await our next President. Let us pray that the man who projected such calm wisdom on the campaign trail can deliver because, as a nation, never has it been more necessary that a campaign promise be fulfilled.

After 10 years working in politics, I can assure you I have my opinions on what goals are feasible and what are just empty promises. However, last night Obama and his team re-wrote the electoral map and shattered expectations for turnout. For students of politics, a new era of modern presidential politics was ushered to the stage last night, in form of a proud, intelligent black family.

As far as California, honestly some of the results were shocking. The passage of Prop 8, was a complete surprise. Again, conventional political wisdom says that high turn out elections skew liberal - which would have boded well for the No on 8 campaign. However we learned something about these not so often voters - those from the black and hispanic community are not in favor of gay marriage. I guarantee you the political statisticians and demographers and busy crunching whole new sets of numbers based on last nights’ results.

So what now? Now we wait. Now we try to enjoy the holiday season and the lack of political yard signs/commercials/flyers/etc. We wait, with baited breathe to see if we brought real change to Washington, DC or just another eloquent man with big ideas. I hope and pray for this nation and its’ future that it is the former. However, nothing can take away the leap of hope that race relations made in American last night, and I am proud of my country at this moment, for that alone.

I promise that a post regarding my thoughts and comments on the election results is coming soon, as I know you are all dying to know

Dear Readers,

I don’t care who you vote for today(well really I do, but that is another topic), all I ask is that you exercise your right to do so. This country has been blessed with a government structure that allows for the peaceful turnover of power on a regular basis - this is not something to take for granted.

So - got vote and make your voice heard!

PS - if you care, keep an eye on Virginia, South Carolina and Ohio. The early returns there will probably predict the presidential outcome. Stay tuned!

Kids grow up fast. Too fast. In the middle of a sleepless night with a crying baby, it is easy to think that the phase will never pass. However, in truth, it is just a moment in time that your children are young. I did a list like the one below with Isaac at the about the same age and I recently re-read it. I almost can’t remember Isaac at that age, which makes me feel very melancholy. These are precious times and I don’t want to forget any of it. Joshua has been growing and changing at an alarming speed lately. He has taken up talking on a full time basis and his wild personality is center stage in our house. He fits so perfectly into our lives, I just can’t remember what it was like without him.

 Dearest Joshua,

• You love to put on and take off your shoes. You constantly grab a pair of shoes and run to my lap, sit down and say “shoes”.

• Your affinity for your brother is hilarious. He is the first person you ask for the in morning and the last person you play with at night. When he is sleeping and you are not, we literally have to barricade the door so you don’t wake him up.

• You are happiest when we are on an adventure. You will be in the midst of throwing a fit and all I have to do is say “Do you want to go bye-bye?” and you instantly stop crying and head for the door.

• You have recently taken to growling. Not sure what it is all about but maybe Halloween is the culprit. You will growl at Isaac, then start laughing and chase him down the hall. Your ability to take down a 41 pound 4 year old is shocking. You are quite the scrapper.

• You call food “num nums.” I am not sure where you got this but now everyone in the house says “I want num nums” when they are hungry.

• When you are really tired, you try to put yourself to bed. You start in the kitchen, somehow lugging out the milk and trying to put it in your bottle. You then say, “night night Mommy!”

• You love the water. When we head to the beach you instantly start yelling “Wa wa wa wa!” You will hurl yourself face first into any body of water – which worries me sick. I am hoping you will take up swimming soon, for your own safety.

• You have an affinity for fruit that is unparalleled. You call strawberries, “strawbabies” and it makes me laugh every time. One time I seriously thought you had overdosed on bananas.  You didn’t poop for a week.

I love you so much Joshua, I can’t wait to see the man you will become but in the meantime, I love the little boy that you are.

For those that come here just for the pictures, this post is for you. Below are pic’s from Halloween and the “pet parade” we went to last week in honor of Halloween. People really like their dogs around here. Enjoy!

I don’t know what it is about me. Maybe a sign that I can’t see but the general public can. I envision it to say something like “Say stupid things to me” or maybe “I’m gullible, please approach with crazy story/plan/idea.” Or even worse, something like ”Say the dumbest thing you’ve ever said out loud TO ME, PLEASE, PICK ME!!!!”

Aside from some of the more mundane things like - “Are you SURE you’re not having twins?” when I was pregnant, there have been some real good ones. Sometimes people don’t even have to use words -  like the time that someone cut me off in a Walmart parking lot, then turned their car around and spit out their window on my windshield. Or the time when a CHP officer pulled me over to give me a ticket and ended up trying to offer me his phone number (along with the ticket). I even had someone who worked in HR tell me my boobs were big, while we were standing in the company restroom.

Because of these things, my friends have always joked that more happens to me in one day than the average person. If I had a nickle for every conversation with a friend that started out with me saying “You are never going to believe what happened to me today” I would be a wealthy girl.

Recently the activity has picked up a bit. I even got an anonymous email from a “secret admirer.” Seriously. Apparently I am still in 6th grade and no one informed me. I don’t know what I do that attracts the crazies but I sure have cornered the market on it. Sometimes I wish a was a shrinking violet, I wish I was someone who could just fade into the crowd - but no. I’m the girl always trying to get noticed and as I do, it is inevitable that the “noticing” take some awkward form that embarrasses both me and the other person.

So my readers what is your story? What is the stupidest thing someone has said/done to you?