11 years ago today…..

Two very naive 22 year old’s set out on a journey. We had no idea how lovely and how hard it would be. We also had no idea that adding 3 children to the mix might complicate things a bit.

Marriage is challenging and beautiful all at the same time but I wouldn’t want to go through this life with anyone else. I love you Kevin, Happy Anniversary!

Okay that last post was just sad. Like, “hey maybe you should go talk to your counselor” sad. Oh wait, I did! And I feel better! I decided that today I am going to share with you the things that are making me happy, things that are reminding me it ain’t all bad out there.

1. I am loving this picture I took of Joshua in Lincoln. I can’t get enough of this kid and his spunk. He reminds me that life is full of good and fun, sometimes you just have to go look for it – on a motorcycle, naked.

2. I am loving Lydia and Elise. Born 8 weeks early and perfectly healthy to my beautiful friend Bethanni and her husband Ryan. I can’t imagine a better family for these little angels to be born into. I can’t look at their pictures and not smile. Beth has two little boys at home already which is why her website is called “little boys rock” and I am thinking she is going to have to get a new domain name now!

3. My therapist. Enough said.

4. I don’t know if you read the website “stuff christians like” by Jon Acuff but man that site just makes my day. He is so funny, like really darn funny. I follow him on Twitter and it makes me smile every time he updates….

5. I can’t do a post about things I am loving without including a food item because well, I am just a foodie like that. So this week, I am loving the Healthy Choice chocolate ice cream bars from Costco. only 100 calories! And so good! There is a lot of stuff out there boasting only 100 calories and my problem with most of these items is that it takes me a total of 10 seconds to finish it and then I’m all “what’s next?” but these ice cream bars last a while and I feel like my sweet tooth (aka SUGAR MONSTER MAMA) feels somewhat satisfied.

That is the list people. AND IT IS FRIDAY. AND MY KIDS ARE OVER THE FLU. So, I will celebrate. I will, I promise.

I apologize for the title. If you haven’t seen Mean Girls, then you are going to think I’ve gone profane on you. If you have seen it…hopefully you are laughing.

Being a working mother to 3 is a little hectic. Okay, that was the understatement of the year. It is a lot hectic. I never stop, I never press pause (except for on the Elmo DVD so Joshie can go potty without missing anything…GOD FORBID), I almost never take vacations, I don’t do very much for “me”, and I don’t really sleep. That is the truth. I wish it weren’t but it is. I know that mom’s who are at home with their kids face a whole different set of problems and stress so I will NEVER say here or anywhere else that one group has it harder than the other. That’s just crazy talk.

Most days for a working mom, things are held together by a tiny, invisible fine line that threatens to snap like a rubber band at the slightest change in the schedule. I have my days down to a science:

there’s coffee first, then getting ready, then getting the kids ready, then getting the lunches ready, then dropping the kids off, then commuting to work, then working for 8 plus hours while managing to pump 3 x so Eli has food for the next day, then commuting home, then getting the kids, then fixing dinner/nursing, then cleaning up, then bath time for 3 children followed by pajamas, stories and cuddles and kisses, then there’s me falling into a heap on the couch somewhere around 9pm. I wish it was over there but most nights, like last night for example…I was awakened at 10, 1:30, 3:45 and 5:45 AM by a combination of my 3 children.

If I didn’t call you back, do you see why now?

So this morning, in between the getting ready and the lunches, Joshie started puking. On my suit. After that was settled, he was cuddled on the couch with a blanket and a bucket, I left for work (awesome Nanny Lauren was there) and when I got out of the car for work….my high heel ripped the hem in my pants. Then after my first meeting, I realized I was without my expensive reading glasses. They are lost and right now I can’t afford to replace them. *Insert tears here*

I don’t know what in the world is going on but I kind of feel like things are unraveling a bit, like the rubber band has snapped. I still have my health, my husband, my job and my children are all healthy so the major components are there.  I feel like a brat for complaining. I am just in a space right now where it feels like everything is like swimming through jello. Like life is that dream where you are trying to get someplace but can’t find your shoes. Maybe it is the phase of life, maybe it is the economy but I feel overwhelmed and in need of a break. I just want something really good and fun to happen (aside from the news that Lindsay Lohan is going to jail and that she pained F*ck you on her fingernails, that was pretty funny). Something that will relieve the pressure and make me see the lighter side of life, revel in the pleasures for a bit.

I knew I was in a bad place when I saw a Corona commercial on TV last night and I almost started crying when I saw the gorgeous sunny beach. I just want to be there. I want to sit in the sun, without children, and just relax. Who’s with me? Who will actually start screaming if they see one more Tweet or Facebook status update about trips to Hawaii?

Okay that’s enough. Must not complete transition to total Debbie the Downer. Tune in tomorrow for a happier post. Let’s talk about kittens or rainbows or cupcakes, mmmmm k?

My best friend Rebecca has a little girl that is 9 months old and her name is Anna:

And as you already know, I have a little 8 month old boy named Elijah:

When you put these two squishy, chubby, sweet babies together you get this (ARE YOU READY FOR THIS?):

Between the rolls, the blue eyes and the squeals, I could barely stay behind the lens of the camera. I wanted to just dip these little nuggets in sauce and eat them for dinner. Rebecca and I each have three children, all of which are extremely close in age. Putting all six of them together is more joyful than words can describe.

Of course there was more to our visit than these babies but when I saw these pictures on my computer I knew I had to dedicate a post just to their chubbiness. Internet, you are welcome.

When I am out with Eli and he isn’t wearing something that is outright boyish or blue, I often get comments about how pretty “she is.” At first, I was indignant, can’t they see that this is clearly a handsome young man? I guess not.

I can’t tell you how many times people have said, “how old is she?” or “what is her name?” Lamenting about this with my friends, they often say, well in the defense of these kind strangers, he is a “really pretty baby.” I could continue to fight this issue or I could just give in and say, yes he is very pretty boy.

So Internet, I present to you, my pretty little boy. Eli, I am so sorry, this was not was totally my idea. You drew the short stick with me as a Mama my son….

Everyone always asks, “are you going to try for a girl?” Well, I think the answer is officially “no need to, I’ve already got a pretty little Eli.”