Kids grow up fast. Too fast. In the middle of a sleepless night with a crying baby, it is easy to think that the phase will never pass. However, in truth, it is just a moment in time that your children are young. I did a list like the one below with Isaac at the about the same age and I recently re-read it. I almost can’t remember Isaac at that age, which makes me feel very melancholy. These are precious times and I don’t want to forget any of it. Joshua has been growing and changing at an alarming speed lately. He has taken up talking on a full time basis and his wild personality is center stage in our house. He fits so perfectly into our lives, I just can’t remember what it was like without him.

 Dearest Joshua,

• You love to put on and take off your shoes. You constantly grab a pair of shoes and run to my lap, sit down and say “shoes”.

• Your affinity for your brother is hilarious. He is the first person you ask for the in morning and the last person you play with at night. When he is sleeping and you are not, we literally have to barricade the door so you don’t wake him up.

• You are happiest when we are on an adventure. You will be in the midst of throwing a fit and all I have to do is say “Do you want to go bye-bye?” and you instantly stop crying and head for the door.

• You have recently taken to growling. Not sure what it is all about but maybe Halloween is the culprit. You will growl at Isaac, then start laughing and chase him down the hall. Your ability to take down a 41 pound 4 year old is shocking. You are quite the scrapper.

• You call food “num nums.” I am not sure where you got this but now everyone in the house says “I want num nums” when they are hungry.

• When you are really tired, you try to put yourself to bed. You start in the kitchen, somehow lugging out the milk and trying to put it in your bottle. You then say, “night night Mommy!”

• You love the water. When we head to the beach you instantly start yelling “Wa wa wa wa!” You will hurl yourself face first into any body of water – which worries me sick. I am hoping you will take up swimming soon, for your own safety.

• You have an affinity for fruit that is unparalleled. You call strawberries, “strawbabies” and it makes me laugh every time. One time I seriously thought you had overdosed on bananas.  You didn’t poop for a week.

I love you so much Joshua, I can’t wait to see the man you will become but in the meantime, I love the little boy that you are.

Dear Joshie,

I am sure you won’t remember this but, you love the mornings. You babble and squeel until I come in your room and pick you up from your crib. You laugh out loud the minute I open the door and it instantly makes me happy. You say “da da da da da” into infinity. At first I was upset because you said “Daddy” before you said “Mommy” but at least you first word wasn’t “dog” like your brother…

When you are really tired you say “ma ma ma ma ma” and then “ny ny ny ny ny” until I scoop you up and put you in your crib. Not that you readily go to sleep – you are not a big fan of naps. However, I love that you want me when you feel tired. I like to think that it is because you know where safety and peace can be found. I hope to always provide that for you.

You have also started this adorable thing where you crawl to wherever I am and sit down. You then promptly put your head down and both of your arms in the air (think field goal). This is your way of saying “I would now prefer to be held.”

I was cleaning out the bathroom today and I ran across my positive pregnancy test from you. I know that seems gross that I kept it, but it was so amazing to find out I was pregnant with you, that just looking at that plus sign (now faded) makes my heart feel full and complete. Joshua you have no idea what a blessing you are. You have changed me and challenged me so much from the moment I found out I was pregnant to now… and I suspect for as long as I am privledged to be your “ma ma ma ma.”

You turn 1 in less than a month, I suspect you will be officially walking by then. I can’t imagine how that will change the dynamics of our already busy household but I am ready for the next challenge. In the meantime, I am going to keep writing all of these things down, the little things you do because I just don’t want to forget.

I love you Joshie Bear.