I love Sundays. On Sundays I get to hear him. On Sundays he lets down his guard and his inner most is casually displayed in the simple words of a song.

Years ago I sat in church and heard it for the first time. The songs didn’t matter, the place didn’t matter. He sang right to me, without even looking my direction. His focus was on Him, not on me, and I fell in love. Ten years have passed since that first day and I still feel it. Music fills the space with itention and purpose, people wait with anticipation to encounter something more than themselves. I too wait for my guard to fall and the graceful peace of His presence to change my anxious heart. Then he sings. I hate to admit that my focus is temporarily shifted. The smile spreads across my face without intention. I feel like God is opening His hand and offering me a gift. Something real, tangible and only for me.

Other people may feel moved by his voice or led closer to God in a time of worship. They may experience a peace that passes understanding or a joy that is, in part, precipitated by the melody spilling softly from him. I, however, feel both God’s presence and a deep abiding thankfulness for God’s provision.

This last Sunday my mind was elsewhere. I was feeling pulled into the realities of my world, my lonely details. He was sitting next to me singing, yet I wasn’t feeling connected to him or to the One who brought me. Then, slowly, a song of tradition and age began.  As he lifted his voice there was something moving out of his heart and into the space between us. His voice, classically trained, resonnated with history. I could almost see him as a small boy, repeating with earnest the words on the page. The sound moved around the notes and through my heart. The barrier was removed and my soul was able to receive.

God may meet me in worship and do the hard work on my callous heart. Yet, I am so lucky that God often uses my husband’s soft voice to lead me there.

Kevin: Isaac you need to go potty and get in bed. Now.

Isaac: Why? I don’t want to. I don’t have to go potty. (pause) NO!

Kevin: Isaac I am the boss and I said, go potty and get in bed. It is 8:30!

Isaac: (hmphhhhh!)You’re not the boss! (he then trots away and goes potty and gets in bed)

Cut to the next day….

Me: Isaac, how was your day? Did you have a good day?

Isaac: I saw a workerman today. He was working. I don’t want to be a workerman anymore when I grow up.

Me: Oh yeah? What do you want to be?

Isaac: The boss.

Well done, my son.

Kevin: Isaac, did you see Santa on Saturday?

Isaac: Yes! I saw Santa!!!!  he was on a firetruck with lots of lights.

Kevin: Did you tell him what you want for Christmas?

Isaac: No, I didn’t talk to him. He was waaaaaaaaaay up there. And loud.

Kevin: When you see him next time are you going to sit on his lap and tell him what you want for Christmas?

Isaac: I want a scooter.

Kevin: I know, but are you going to tell Santa that?

Isaac: (exasperated) Daddy, I am not going to sit on his lap. I will walk up to him and tell him I want a scooter but that is it. That is it Daddy.

Good to know that my three year old has established “boundaries” that would make a therapist proud…

Me: Hey I had 100 site views today!

Kevin: Just wait until I send my HTPC forum traffic your way.

Me: Excuse me, what?

Kevin: Yeah, my forum.

Me: ????

Kevin: Oh come on, you don’t know about that?

Me: Seriously what are you talking about?

Kevin: My forum. Come on Jenn, it’s not like its a secret. I guess I just haven’t talked about it. It’s pretty simple, we just talk about Home Theater stuff. Well, people ask me questions really.

Me: Let me get this right, you on a forum where nerds like yourself talk about home theater stuff? That is awesome. What’s your screen name? (laughing)

Kevin: Jenn, I have been doing this for 4 years or so. People count on me for advice about their home theater decisions.

Jenn: What is your screen name? You have to tell me.

Kevin: HTPCguru.

Jenn: Wow.