Okay so I took some belly pictures last night and I promise to post them tomorrow so you can laugh. No really, go ahead and laugh at my expense. It’s okay.
Wow I sound grumpy. I’m not, just officially feeling very preggo. You know the, up 6 times a night to pee -hard time getting off the couch-out of breath- kind of preggo. Worst part about this is that I haven’t even reached what I like to call, “serving the baby an eviction notice stage” which generally occurs for me around week 32. I have 9 plus more weeks to that stage. Yeah!
Anyhow I thought you all should know that last night I wasn’t really hungry. This is a big-ish thing for me considering I ate a burrito the other day the size of a puppy and an hour later was all “what’s for dessert?” So, not being hungry is a new thing for me. Kevin made some breakfast for dinner concoction and I had a few bites of that and then decided to take a bath. Sometime between hefting my belly out of the bath and landing back on the couch, I became well, let’s say “focused” on having some ice cream. Warm and cozy from my bath and feeling smug for “not eating dinner because I wasn’t hungry” I decided that a little ice cream wouldn’t hurt anybody. I grabbed a pint of Haagen Daz Double Chocolate Chip and padded to the couch to watch Tori and Dean. I have talked about this show before and I will say it again, Tori isn’t who you think she is so stop judging her. She is my friend. Well, she would be if she met me. I am convinced of that and it doesn’t at all make me a stalker. Not really. Anyway, me and the ice cream sat down and managed to bring an extra spoon for Kevin. (He indicated that me sharing the ice cream was the only way he would be able to tolerate watching that show, and I obliged.)
It took about 20 minutes. In case you were wondering. Just 20 little minutes to FINISH THE ENTIRE CONTAINER. Yes, I had help. But still, do you know how many calories are in a pint of that ice cream? I do. When I got up for the 6th time to pee last night, the caloric content of Haagen Daz was rolling around in my head like a marble in the Hungry Hippo game so I went to the garbage, pulled out the container and did some simple math at 3 in the morning.
1050 calories, divided by 2 = 525 calories.
So, on my “I’m being good I didn’t eat dinner” bandwagon, I managed to take in the calories of a Whopper with cheese. Yeah Jenn.
The worst part about all of this is that sometime in late November I am going to be crying about how fat I still am even though the baby came out and I am going to be all “I dont’ know how I got like this, I didn’t even eat dinner every night!” Sob, sob. And then a little flicker of a memory, a chocolate chip…an empty container…Tori Spelling. It will all come back to me like a dairy deluge and I will know, exactly how I “got like this.”
So now I have two options, stop counting calories (wicked habit developed doing weight wacthers) or see if I can get Will Smith to come over with that little memory zapper from his movie that I can’t remember right now because my brain is filled with chocolate chips, and get rid of the ice cream memories so that can drown in post-partum self-pity like every other pregnant woman I know. Why only these two choices? Because we both know I’ m not going to stop eating ice cream.Read More